


The Long Road

by fairgge



Series: The Long Road [1]
Category: Hiddles - Fandom, Hiddleston - Fandom, Tom Hiddleston - Fandom, hiddlestoners
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-17
Updated: 2014-03-09
Packaged: 2018-01-01 19:24:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 44,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1047668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fairgge/pseuds/fairgge
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Caitlyn Bryer is enjoying the taste of success that comes with having written a bestselling novel. But what will happen when she finally meets the inspiration for her book's beloved hero?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Long Road - Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> My first work of fanfic! Also posted on Tumblr at THF.

CHAPTER ONE

“The book is called ‘The Long Road,’ available in bookstores now.” With a gleam of perfect white teeth, the host of the second most popular morning show in America began to wrap up the segment. “Thank you so much, Caitlyn, for being here with us this morning, and congratulations again on earning a spot on the _New York Times_ bestseller list!”

Caitlyn Bryer smiled modestly, internally bouncing up and down in anticipation of FINALLY being allowed to use the restroom.

“My pleasure, Mike.” She continued to smile into the camera, too distracted by her aching bladder to listen to Mike’s preview of an upcoming segment.

“Clear!” called a voice out of her sightline. Cait whipped her head towards Mike.

“I have got to use the restroom SO BAD! How do I unhook this?!”

Mike laughed at her pathetic expression and reached over to unhook her microphone with an expert hand. “Through that door, second door on the left. But come back after – I want to ask you a favor.”

“You bet!” Cait frankly didn’t care at that point if he needed her to balance a ball on her nose while tap dancing and singing “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” on live TV, as long as she had time for a bathroom break.

The past few weeks had been an ever-increasing blur of book signings, media appearances and more as her first novel shot to surprising heights of success that Cait would never have predicted in a million years.

Just one year ago, she’d been slogging away at a dead-end job that had bored her to tears, then going home and spending every night indulging in her true passion – writing. She’d completed “The Long Road,” and in a burst of optimism sent it off to a literary agent. She’d never thought to hear anything beyond a standard “Thanks for your submission, however, who are you kidding?” letter.

Two months later, she’d still been smarting from the complete lack of acknowledgement of her submission. The least they could have done was officially blow her off, so that she could finally put that dream to rest.

Then came the phone call. Out of the blue, during one of the most mind-numbing days she’d ever experienced in her already-tedious job. Teddy Markwell of Lancaster Literary Management wanted to represent her. He wanted to get “The Long Road” published. He thought it was “brilliant.”

It was a call that set Cait’s tidy life to spinning, and the ride hadn’t stopped yet.

She smiled at her reflection in the restroom mirror as she washed her hands. She was so blessed, so lucky to be where she was. To have found success doing what she loved – how many people could say that? So if the ever-increasing media interest meant more and more interviews, and therefore more and more work for her, who was she to complain?

“You are the luckiest bitch in the world,” she informed her reflection. She snorted, grinned at her own ridiculousness, fluffed her shoulder-length blonde curls, and headed back to the set.

Cait slipped back in, being careful not to make any noise during the current segment. Mike was standing behind the camera and watching his co-host laugh along with the popular comedian she was interviewing. Cait caught his eye from her post in the back of the room, and waited for him to make his way back to her.

Mike Reynolds was sickeningly good-looking – tall and built, with dark skin, coffee-brown eyes and a lack of hair that had recently landed him on top of a “Sexiest Bald Men” list. Cait would have swooned immediately on meeting him, but he was out and proud, with an adorable husband and two gorgeous children.

“Why are all the hottest guys either gay or married?” she pondered aloud as he joined her. “Or in your case, both.”

Mike shot her his famous grin. “You don’t have much of a filter, do you?”

“Nope. Drives my publicist nuts, but he loves it at the same time. Go figure.”

“No, it’s great. Your segment was fantastic. That’s why I wanted to ask you a favor.”

Cait smiled. “Considering how much play you’ve given my book over the past couple of weeks, I owe you more than one favor.”

Mike had a large and extremely loyal fan base, with nearly 2 million followers on Twitter. Two weeks ago he’d tweeted an endorsement of “The Long Road,” which she knew had contributed greatly to the boost in sales.

“Hey, I call them like I see them. Best damn book I’ve read in years.”

Cait felt her eyes widen in shock. She’d heard a lot of praise for her book from many different people, but statements like that always stunned her. How could something she’d created affect people like that? All she could manage was a quiet “Thank you.”

“I was hoping you’d be willing to stick around until after the show and tape an extended interview for the web,” Mike said. “We like to offer web exclusive content to drive people to the site. We’re trying to boost our web presence a bit.”

“Oh sure! That sounds great. I don’t have anything scheduled until this afternoon anyway.”

“Fantastic!” Mike glanced up at his producer’s signal, and nodded quickly. “Shouldn’t be more than an hour, if you want to go hang out in the greenroom?”

“Will do. See ya later.”

Cait made her way through the corridors to the luxurious greenroom, and helped herself to a Diet Coke. She was currently alone in the room, so she curled up on one of the sofas and got comfy. She shot a quick text to her publicist to let him know about the extended interview, then sent another to her closest friend, Monica.

_Did you watch?_

Her phone beeped a moment later:

_Fuck no. It’s too fucking early._

Cait cackled. _Lies. No way you’d have replied that quick if you weren’t already up._

She idly watched the TV screens and swigged Diet Coke – her fourth of the morning – as she waited for Monica’s response.

_Fine, but I had to get up early to watch CHRIS HEMSWORTH. Tell me you met him!_

As always, Monica’s insistence on capitalizing her favorite actor’s name cracked Cait up. Somehow she even managed to say it in all caps. _Sadly no. They left right after their interview._

_Bugger. You couldn’t have gotten there early to stalk him for me?_

_Hey, that’s your man. Be your own creeper._

_You’d have done it if Hiddles was there._

Cait couldn’t argue with that. _Thank God he wasn’t, or I’d have lost my shit totally. Especially after that slip-up on the radio yesterday._

_Yeah. No way they wouldn’t have taken the opportunity to bust on you if he’d been there this morning._

The final interview of six the day before had been a popular New York radio program. Cait had been running on fumes, but womaned up, drew on her energy reserves and powered through. She’d been doing great, giving out all the information she was comfortable with people having, and diplomatically avoiding questions she didn’t care to answer. She’d discovered an aptitude for interviews that surprised her.

The interviewer had been great, making Cait feel relaxed and confident. She’d been having a great time, despite her exhaustion. He’d clearly read the book, and asked intelligent and thought-provoking questions, which was tremendously gratifying.

Her slip had come on a question she’d been asked before. “The character of Aidan has become something of a romantic icon already. One reviewer said, and I quote, ‘If there’s a real man like Aidan Quimby out there, then women everywhere can feel a renewed sense of hope.’ Where did you draw the inspiration for Aidan?”

Cait had gotten used to this question, and had a pat answer all ready to go.

But call it sleep deprivation, caffeine imbalance, sheer idiocy – the truth had come tumbling out of her mouth.

“Tom Hiddleston.”

She’d felt her eyes widen, immediately shocked at her own slip. She’d never intended to admit that! Her massive crush on the “Avengers” star was something she kept under her hat.

“Really?” The interviewer pounced on that tidbit like a cat on ’nip. “The actor who played Loki in ‘Thor’ and ‘The Avengers’? You based the character of Aidan on him?”

“Uhh …” Well said, Cait.

The interviewer chuckled. “I get the feeling you didn’t mean to admit that.”

Dude, stop being so freaking perceptive! “Well, I guess not,” she laughed, trying to play it off. “I’m a fan of his work.”

“Now that I think of it, the physical description of the character does fit Tom Hiddleston,” the interviewer mused. “But talk about being night and day from his most famous character, Loki. Was it just his looks that inspired you?”

Cait stared for a moment like a deer in headlights. How could she answer that without sounding like an asshole?

“I suppose it was that, plus just … he seems really nice in interviews,” she finished lamely. She just hadn’t prepared for this!

Thankfully they’d run out of time – she heaved a sigh of relief as soon as she’d escaped the studio, and hoped that her slip didn’t cause too much of a mess.

Now she shook her head over the whole debacle, snuggling back into the couch cushions and raising her phone again. _I haven’t even been online since then. Wonder if anyone else picked up on the whole Tom/Aidan thing?_

She saw the ellipses on her iPhone that indicated Monica was composing a response, before movement caught her attention from the corner of her eye. Swiveling her head to see who’d joined her in the greenroom, she immediately choked on Diet Coke.

_MONICA. Do. Not. Freak._

_What? Why?!_

_Hemsworth just walked in._

_BULLSHIT!!!!!!_

_Babe, I would not lie to you about this._

_Pics or it didn’t happen!!_

How the hell am I supposed to take a picture without him noticing, Cait wondered incredulously. She tilted her phone cautiously, trying unsuccessfully to snap a photo of the massive actor as he perused the drink selection. She snatched it back down to her lap as he turned, noticed her and smiled.

“Hello.”

“Urk!” she choked out, then coughed wildly. He grinned, understanding the effect he had on people.

“I’m Chris. Are you a guest today too?” He stepped over to the couch and offered a hand for her to shake.

Cait shot up from the couch and grabbed the proffered hand. “Wow. Sorry, hi! I’m Cait – I’m not usually this ridiculous, I promise.”

He laughed down at her – man, was he tall! “You’re fine. What are you in for today, Cait?”

“Promoting my book. I’m sorry, I have to say, it’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m a fan of your work.” Now that she was past the shock of meeting a real-life movie star, Cait was back to her usual gregarious self. “I’m really looking forward to ‘The Dark World’ this weekend!”

“Thanks! What type of book, if you don’t mind me asking?” He sat down in a nearby chair, and she resumed her position on the couch.

“Not at all. It’s called ‘The Long Road’ – it’s a novel. My first, actually.”

Chris started to respond, but a voice behind Cait interrupted.

“Oh wow, you’re Caitlyn Bryer?”

Cait stood again and felt her jaw drop as Natalie Portman rushed towards her. “I love your book so much! I finished it last week and I’ve been recommending it to everyone!”

“Holy crap! That’s amazing – thanks so much!” Cait knew she was goggling, but couldn’t help it. “I’m a big fan of your work, so that means a lot.”

Natalie smiled, then glanced down at Cait’s phone as it began signaling. She ignored it – answering now would be the height of rudeness.

“I thought you two left after your segment earlier?” Cait asked as they all settled into the seating area.

“We just ran around the corner for another interview,” Chris explained. “They asked us to come back and film an extended interview for the website.”

“Me too. Wow, you guys must be exhausted what with the movie opening Friday!”

Natalie and Chris exchanged smiles tinged with a hint of weariness. “Part of the job, you know, and I never mind the work,” said Natalie. “But we both have small children at home, which does make it harder.”

“Bless your hearts,” Cait murmured, a hint of her native Southern accent slipping through. “I know how tough the past few weeks have been for me, and it’s nowhere near the level y’all have to deal with. You’re troopers, for sure.”

Throughout the conversation, Cait’s phone had become increasingly hysterical, to the point that both actors were staring. She felt her cheeks heat up, and glanced at the screen. Monica, of course.

“Everything okay?” Chris asked.

“Yeah.” What to say? Screw it, truth. “I was texting my best friend when you came in. She has a huge crush on you, so now she’s flipping out.”

Chris and Natalie both cracked up. “Send her a picture, see what she does!” he laughed.

“I know what she’ll do, she’ll pass out.” But she grinned and framed the two stars in her viewfinder, snapping the shot and messaging it off.

A moment later came: _WHAT THE FUCKING HELL?!?!?!_

Cait laughed. _I’ll call you later and explain._

_Wait, please! Just get him to take off his shirt!_

_Bye Monica._

“Yeah, she’s nuts. Sorry about that,” Cait said, switching off the ringer and stashing the phone back in her bag.

“No problem. Chris, Cait is the author of that book I was telling you and Tom about!” Natalie beamed. “I just loved it so much. I know Chris’s wife is already reading it, and I think I convinced Tom to check it out.”

“That is so nice of you!” Cait felt the heat creeping into her face, but couldn’t help herself. “Do you mean Tom Hiddleston?”

“Yes, he loves to read.” Natalie glanced towards the door. “Actually, he should be –“

“Ms. Bryer?” A young man stepped into the greenroom, smiling at all those gathered. “We’re ready for you on the set.”

“Oh, I’ll be right there.” She turned back to Chris and Natalie. “It was so wonderful to meet you both!” Going with impulse, she hugged Natalie, who returned it warmly. “Thanks again for loving the book. It means a lot.”

“Good luck!” 


	2. The Long Road - Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caitlyn Bryer is enjoying the taste of success that comes with having written a bestselling novel. But what will happen when she finally meets the inspiration for her book's beloved hero?

CHAPTER TWO

The mood on set was a lot more relaxed after the live show was done. Crew members scattered here and there in conversation, and Mike had removed his tie and kicked back in one of the set’s plush armchairs.

“Cait! Over here.” He waited until she was settled and a tech wandered over to reattach her lapel microphone. “This is totally casual – way more relaxed than the on-air segment earlier. So have fun with it.”

“Uh oh. You might regret telling me that!”

Mike laughed as the camera operator got set up, and then he kicked off the interview with a brief intro – they were off and running.

****

Tom Hiddleston was exhausted. Four interviews already this morning, and it wasn’t yet 10 am. As he made his way into the studio to join Chris and Natalie for this web exclusive interview, all he could think about was a hot cup of tea and the hotel bed he’d been rousted from far too early this morning.

There are worse problems to have, mate, he thought, shaking his head at himself.

Ducking into the greenroom, he greeted Chris and Natalie with a wave and a yawn.

“Back at you, brother,” Chris chuckled.

“Sorry, I just need to replenish my caffeine levels.” Tom headed for the beverage table.

“It’s nice you could join us for this part of it,” Natalie said. “What’s on your schedule after this? Can we all grab lunch?”

“I think the next thing I have after this is a newspaper interview at 2,” said Tom. “Although we’re more for late breakfast at this point, but I’m starving.”

He flopped down onto the couch opposite Chris and Natalie. “When are we up?”

“Should be soon – I think we’re after Caitlyn, and they came for her about five minutes ago?” Natalie looked at Chris for confirmation.

“Sounds right.”

“Who’s Caitlyn?” Tom asked as he took a sip of coffee. Not as good as tea, but caffeine was more important now.

“Oh, remember that book I gave you to read last week?” Natalie said. Tom nodded.

“ ‘The Long Road’? I actually finished it last night – that’s why I’m so blasted tired this morning. I couldn’t put it down!” His eyes lit with excitement. “It’s fantastic  – thanks for the recommendation.”

“The author was just here! They’re doing one of these extended interviews with her, too,” Natalie said.

“No kidding!” Tom grinned. “I’d love to meet her.”

“Well hey, why don’t we all just pop out to the set and watch her interview?” Chris said. “The producer told me these things are really casual, and they don’t worry about noise from off-set as much.”

Chris and Natalie hopped up, and Tom dragged himself off the comfortable cushions. Just as well – he’d been near to falling asleep.

Tom loved his job. He loved the crazy hours, the hectic schedules, and most of all the adoring fans. Never for a moment did he begrudge even the smallest request on his time. And he was usually very careful to adhere to a proper sleep schedule – if he wasn’t operating at 100%, then he wasn’t doing his job to the best of his ability.

He’d only meant to read for a few minutes in bed before drifting off to sleep at a reasonable hour. Caitlyn Bryer had blown that plan out of the water.

He truly couldn’t remember the last time he’d been so captivated by a story. He couldn’t help but to visualize how it might be on the big screen – he was slightly embarrassed to admit he’d even cast himself into the male lead.

“She’s so talented – I really can’t wait to meet her,” he told Natalie with a grin.

*****

Another round of laughter burst through the set. Mike clapped a hand to his head and shook with laughter.

“Sorry, I told you I have no filter. Especially after four Diet Cokes,” Cait said with a grin. She loved making people laugh, but it always surprised her when she managed it.

“Oh lord,” Mike wheezed, trying to regain some measure of composure. Cait had taken his advice about having fun to heart, and had been regaling them with some tales from old jobs. “Please tell me you’re at least changing names to protect the innocent.”

Cait rounded her eyes. “I guess I should, huh?”

Mike chuckled. “Okay, I better move us onto something else before you get in trouble. Tell us a little more about your inspiration for ‘The Long Road’.”

Cait smiled and launched into her standard reply. It was amazing how easy it was to answer these questions now. A few weeks ago she’d struggled with her every word, and now she practically had it memorized.

Tom edged into the back of the room with Natalie and Chris and propped himself against the wall.

He heard her voice first – surprisingly low for a woman, with a hint of an accent peeking through. He realized he hadn’t really thought much about the author beyond her talent. He craned his head around a couple of crew members, aiming for a view of the set.

At first he couldn’t see her through the bright lighting. So he stepped a few feet to the side, and managed to get a look.

The woman on stage was truly lovely. He found himself not paying much attention to her words, just the animation on her pretty face. Soft blonde curls framed a rounded face, with creamy pale skin and large dark eyes. Her mouth was mobile, and seemed to be in a perpetual smile, as though she found secret delight in all around her. She wore a black suit jacket and pants, with a bright emerald blouse underneath. He had the fleeting thought that she should always be in bright colors – her very being seemed to demand it.

As Cait wrapped up her answer, Mike pinned her with a look. “So here’s a question. Your character Aidan has become quite the hit with the ladies.” Several female cheers, along with a man’s offended “Hey!” off camera brought laughter. “Sorry, you’re right – ladies AND guys! But where did he come from?”

Cait stiffened slightly. Was she paranoid … well, more paranoid than usual … or was there a strange tone in Mike’s voice? Almost as if he knew something she didn’t.

“You mean other than the inside of my warped little mind?” Cait said with a chuckle.

Mike smiled, but leaned closer. “Well, I ask because I happened to catch a radio interview you did yesterday here in New York.”

Cait closed her eyes briefly. “Well crap.”

Mike grinned. “It’s okay! But I have to ask you about it.”

“Oh you really don’t!” Cait scowled at him, to no effect. He just smiled back patiently.

“All right. Yes, I did actually base Aidan on a real person,” Cait admitted, sighing. Really, what was the point in hiding it? There were a few murmurs from the crew, and Mike patted her hand.

“And who is that?”

Cait shrugged. “I based him on an actor – Tom Hiddleston.”


	3. The Long Road - Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caitlyn Bryer is enjoying the taste of success that comes with having written a bestselling novel. But what will happen when she finally meets the inspiration for her book's beloved hero?

CHAPTER THREE

Tom felt his shoulders stiffen against the back wall of the studio. Had she just said what he thought she said …? He saw Natalie and Chris turn to stare at him, and felt his face redden.

“Tom Hiddleston, who played Loki in ‘Thor’ and ‘The Avengers’?” Mike clarified.

“Yes, that one.” Cait was squirming a bit in her seat, her face slowly turning an unflattering shade of red. “I’m a big fan of all the Marvel movies, actually.”

“But what is it about him in particular that inspired you to write a character like Aidan?” Mike pressed.

Tom leaned forward at that, ignoring Chris, who had started poking him in the ribcage like an enthusiastic kid.

“Well …” Cait paused. How to explain without sounding like a 12-year-old with a crush? “Have you ever seen an interview with him?”

Mike smiled. “A few.”

“He’s very charismatic,” Cait said slowly, still trying to find her words. “But beyond that … it seems like everything he does, he does it with joy. He’s funny and kind, and there just seems to be this … inner light that shines out of him. There’s just a purity of spirit there that I find very compelling.”

She paused again, then grinned. “And the fact that he’s super hot doesn’t hurt matters!”

Chris’s shoulders began shaking as he tried to contain his laughter, and resumed poking Tom in the ribs. Tom smacked him on the shoulder, but was still too stunned to put much effort into it.

He’d never heard himself described like that – well, he’d heard the super hot part, but the rest? He was just some git from England – how could he have inspired something so complex as the character she’d written?

How could she see so much in him?

He watched, still unnoticed in the back of the studio, as Cait drew in a deep breath.

“I actually never wanted to admit that he was the inspiration behind Aidan because I wanted Aidan to be his own man, so to speak. I wanted readers to see who and what they want to see when they read the book. That’s what good fiction should be, I think,” she finished quietly.

Mike reached over to pat her hand. “You’re absolutely right. But have you seen any of the reaction from fans on social media since the interview yesterday?”

“Oh no,” Cait groaned. “I went to sleep almost immediately after the interview yesterday, and I haven’t had a chance to check in online since.” She could feel her shoulders tightening as her anxiety levels rose. She valued her fans tremendously, and the thought of a backlash was enough to make her shudder.

“It’s okay!” Mike said quickly, seeing the fear written on her face. “They’ve been great. Looks like you have several ‘Hiddlestoners’ included in your fanbase.”

Cait heaved a sigh of relief. “Really?”

“Oh yeah – let me see, I printed out a couple.” Mike snagged a sheet of paper from the table beside him. “ ‘My God – Tom Hiddleston as Aidan Quimby? I can die happy now!’ ” Mike chuckled. “I liked this one, too: ‘She put the soul of a poet in the body of a god. I worship Caitlyn Bryer!’ ”

“Body of a god!” Chris poked Tom again.

“Bollocks,” Tom said with a grin. He was well familiar with his Hiddlestoners and their tendency to exaggerate his looks. He was cruising past the initial shock of Cait’s revelation, and was amused by the whole thing. And truly flattered, he had to admit.

Mike set the sheet of paper aside, and Cait breathed a silent sigh of relief, thinking that the embarrassing part was over.

“So a little birdie told me that you do a killer impression of Mr. Hiddleston,” Mike said as he leaned back in his chair, a huge, shit-eating grin on his face.

“Oh freaking hell. Who told you that?!”

“Your publicist.”

Cait huffed out a breath. “Remind me to cut him.” She stared directly into the camera as the crew laughed. “You hear that, Ronnie? I’m coming for you, and I’m bringing the butter knife.” She mimed sawing a dull knife across her arm.

Tom couldn’t help but laugh at her discomfort. She was such an unrestrained personality - he couldn’t look away, and couldn’t wait to hear what she’d say next.

“Will you show us?” Mike persisted.

“No!” Cait felt her face starting to heat up again. She’d certainly proven she wasn’t shy, but this was just something she did to goof off around her fellow fangirl friends.

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t want to look like a jackass on national TV!”

“But you’re not on national TV – this is online.”

“Oh yeah, that makes it better,” she huffed at Mike, who just smiled.

“Come on, think of it as an homage. Besides, if I’m not mistaken, Mr. Hiddleston does impressions of his fellow celebrities all the time. Does that make him a jackass?”

Tom pondered that. No, he just thought it was fun. No one had minded yet. And he had to admit, he was dying to see what she’d do.

Cait stared at Mike for a moment, then figured, screw it, and huffed out a huge breath. “Thank God I wore pants today.”

With that, she uncrossed her legs and immediately spread her knees as far apart as possible. That alone had howls of laughter rolling through the crowd.

Natalie and Chris were leaning against each other, both laughing too hard to stand on their own. Tom blinked, then said “Do I do that?” which just made his two friends laugh even harder.

Cait widened her eyes, clasped her hands together and smiled at Mike, who was snickering into his hand. “Hello Mike, how are you today?” she said in a flawless British accent. She’d even managed to deepen her voice and add some of Tom’s famous huskiness.

Mike snorted out, “I’m great, _Tom_.”

Cait continued on, never breaking her accent. “So what are we here to talk about today?”

Mike just waved her off. “I can’t take you seriously sitting like that!”

“Like what? Like I have Mjolnir in my pants?” Cait made a wordless “know what I’m sayin?” gesture toward her crotch.

“Oh lord!” Mike wheezed. “Can we even put this stuff online?!”

“Ehehehehe.” Her dead-on imitation of Tom’s unique laugh had Tom laughing, as well. She then broke out Tom’s velociraptor impression, which was actually quite good. At that point, Mike was gone – laughing too hard to even corral her.

“No questions? Well, perhaps I should just dance!” Cait hopped up and began to boogie about the set – some quick-thinking individual hit a button and soon “Get Lucky” filled the studio.

Tom cracked up – she was a TERRIBLE dancer. Natalie was shrieking with laughter, and had plopped right down on the floor, which caught the attention of one of the studio techs.

His eyes widened on seeing the trio behind him, and he poked the producer standing in front of him. The producer knew an opportunity when he saw one, and slipped over to Tom.

“Why don’t you go up there? She’d probably get a kick out of it.” It would also likely give them a viral video and tons of free publicity, but he didn’t point that out.

Tom started to decline – he didn’t want to embarrass her. But Chris overheard and cried “Yes, get up there! Show her how to dance, she’s horrible!”

The various people standing around began adding their encouragement until he finally gave in and started toward the stage.

Cait was having a blast – she knew she couldn’t dance, but the part of her that so enjoyed entertaining others had taken control and wasn’t backing down.

She turned her back to her audience and attempted a pitiful booty shake, until she heard a familiar voice right behind her.

“Shall I show you how it’s done, darling?”

She froze. Oh please God, please tell me that’s just someone who sounds like him, she thought.

The music continued to pump through the studio as she peeked over her right shoulder. And there, grinning down at her, was the man himself.

“Oh fucking hell,” Cait yelped.


	4. The Long Road - Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caitlyn Bryer is enjoying the taste of success that comes with having written a bestselling novel. But what will happen when she finally meets the inspiration for her book's beloved hero?

CHAPTER FOUR

Cait generally didn’t question her instincts – they were usually on point.

So when instinct told her to hide behind her chair, she went with it.

Mike was crying with laughter now, and the crew was nearly in hysterics. Tom snorted, then propped one knee on the chair to peer over.

“Come out, darling, no need to get shy now!”

A tortured wail was heard from behind the chair. “What are you DOING here?! Are you people trying to kill me?!”

Mike was making a valiant effort to pull himself together. “Come on, Cait! Don’t you want to meet Tom?”

“Yes! But not when I’m showing the world my underwear!”

Tom plopped down in the chair and started to cackle. “I must have missed that part.”

Cait popped her head up over the chair and glared. “It’s an expression.”

“It’s certainly vivid.” He studied the bright red face and mutinous expression in front of him. She looked a bit like a cranky child in need of a nap, he thought with a smile.

Then she stood, and he was treated to an up-close view of a body that was most definitely not childlike. _Hello_ , he thought, trying not to be too obvious in his appreciation.

He quickly hopped up to allow her to sit back down in her chair. For lack of anywhere better, he propped himself on the arm of the chair, making Cait scrunch herself into the corner.

Her mind was whirling with a mixture of embarrassment, shock and … well, lust. He smelled way too good! And all that gorgeousness right next to her – it was all she could do not to pet him like a pretty cat.

Not that she’d be feeling like this towards a cat.

“Sorry to interrupt, Cait and Mike,” Tom said as someone ran up and attached a microphone to his lapel. “Chris, Natalie and I were just lurking in the back of the studio. I didn’t mean to embarrass you, Cait,” Tom said, his eyes holding steady on the woman next to him. She was carefully avoiding looking at him, and he was determined to make her.

“You really are an atrocious dancer.”

Mike cough-laughed into his hand as Cait’s head snapped up.

“That’s harsh.” Then she smiled. “True, but harsh.”

“Would you like me to teach you some moves?” Tom loved to dance, and was just crafty enough to know that a dance lesson might allow him to get his hands on her.

“I can’t dance like you – I’ll break a hip.”

“Good lord, you sound like an old lady.”

“I AM an old lady, kiddo.”

Tom shook his head. “Kiddo. For God’s sake, surely you’re younger than me.”

“Nope, I’m pretty sure I’m a few years older,” Cait said, even though she knew very well exactly how old he was.

“You don’t look any older than 27 at most,” Tom scoffed. “I bet you get carded at bars.”

“Nope. 35 years old. But thanks, I think?”

Tom frowned at her, then leaned forward until their noses were nearly touching. Cait was stunned into immobility. Her inner fangirl had already passed out and been taken to the emergency room.

 _Wow. His eyes really_ are _that beautiful_ , she thought hazily, not even daring to blink.

Tom made a show of examining her features, though he really didn’t care how old she was. Her eyes were wide and fixated on him, the deep brown pulling him further into her. Her skin looked so soft, he almost lifted a hand to stroke her cheek. Her lips immediately sparked a variety of fantasies, and as he watched, they parted slightly. It was all he could do not to lean in further and take them with his own.

With effort, he sat upright and smiled over at Mike. “Nope, she doesn’t look her age at all.” He turned to the audience that had gathered in the studio. “I think she can handle one little dance lesson, don’t you all?”

Hoots and cheers sounded throughout the studio. Cait frowned as a chant of “Dance! Dance! Dance! Dance!” began sounding.

 _Got yourself into it this time, moron_ , she thought.

“Okay, why not?” she said, drawing more cheers. She stood up as someone hit the “Get Lucky” button again.

Tom stood next to her and moved his arms slightly to the beat. “Okay, arms first.”

She studied his motions for a minute before raising her own arms to mimic. “That’s not too hard. It’s when the rest of the body gets involved that I have trouble.”

“Not bad so far. Let’s add some hip action,” Tom said, swaying easily.

Cait tried to imitate him, but figured she must have been missing some muscles or something. Her movements were too jerky.

“You need to loosen up a bit,” Tom said, standing behind her and placing his hands on her hips. Cait immediately tripped over thin air.

“Whoops!” Tom tightened his hold and pulled her into his body to steady her.

If it also let him feel that lovely body pressed against his, what was a boy to do?

Cait abandoned any pretense of dancing, allowing herself to remain pressed against Tom for a bright, shining moment. “Uh,” she said eloquently.

Seeing Mike raise an eyebrow, though, she quickly stepped away and laughed. “See, this is what I mean! I’m too clumsy.” She smiled at Tom, and made a vague gesture towards him. “Why don’t you show me first?”

Tom shot her a grin that could only be described as naughty. “Sure, why not.”

Away he went – arms flowing, hips twitching, legs flying. Cait perched on the arm of Mike’s chair and laughed.

“Oh, THAT! Sure, I can do that!”

Tom chuckled appreciatively. “Maybe you could handle something a little more advanced, then?”

He expanded his movements, rotating his hips widely to the wild cheers of the studio crew. It was amazing for Cait to see this up close, after spending so many hours drooling over his dance clips on YouTube. Damned if it wasn’t turning her on even more in person.

To distract herself, she called out “Hey, were you ever a stripper?”

Tom burst out laughing, but continued to dance. “Ehehehe … I think that’s flattering?”

He danced over to Cait and added some more bump-and-grind to his moves. She considered that for a moment, then quietly took a dollar out of her pocket and tucked it carefully into the belt of his jeans.

“Oh Jesus,” Mike wheezed, doubling over with laughter.

“Let’s see – I believe that requires me to personalize the experience a bit,” Tom said, advancing on Cait.

“Oh crap. No!” She lunged to the side as he grabbed for her, and dashed around behind the chairs with him in pursuit.

“Children! No running on the set!” Mike cried, weak from laughter.

Tom grabbed Cait around the waist and hauled her over to the vacant chair. Plopping down, he yanked her into his lap. “Lord, you’re an exhausting woman.”

“You’re the one who went all Magic Mike.” She glanced at Mike. “Well, I guess that’s you. Magic Tom, then. Hey, speaking of male strippers, let’s get a ‘who looks better shirtless’ contest going in here! Chris Hemsworth, I see you back there.”

She pointed into the crowd. “Get up here! Mike, you against Chris and Tom!”

The crowd whooped in approval.

“Oh no, I’m not standing shirtless next to those two,” Tom said. “I’d look malnourished.”

Cait appraised him briefly. “Come on. Women all over the world have been dying for more shirtless photos of you. Take it off!”

She bounced up and over to Mike, tugging his hand in an effort to make him stand up. “Off! Off!”

Other women in the studio picked up the chant. “Off! Off! Off!”

Mike remained firmly planted in the chair, laughing at Cait’s pitiful efforts to roust him. “Uh, I think the inmates are taking over the asylum,” he called out to his producer.

Tom grabbed Cait around the waist and tugged her away from Mike. She stuck her tongue out at him over her shoulder – he returned the favor.

“Yep, I think we’ve devolved about as far as we can for now,” Mike said on his producer’s signal to finally wrap it up. “Again, Caitlyn Bryer’s book is ‘The Long Road,’ available in stores now.” He indicated Cait, whose professional writer vibe was somewhat marred by the fact that she was engaged in a silly face contest with Tom. “You’ll see Tom Hiddleston again in our interview with him, Chris Hemsworth and Natalie Portman about ‘Thor: The Dark World,’ in theaters this weekend.” He glanced over his shoulder, then added, “We’ll be sure to lock Cait in a closet somewhere so she doesn’t seek revenge during that set.”

“Clear!”

The producer hopped up on stage, talking excitedly to Mike about viral videos and whatnot. Mike just shook his head and laughed once again.

Cait and Tom were still laughing and joking together, immediately comfortable with each other in a way that neither ever was with someone they’d just met.

“Lord, you must think I’m a total loon,” Cait said, stepping off stage to allow the crew to work. Several gave her a thumbs-up or pat on the back.

“I think you’re fantastic,” Tom admitted. “That’s the most fun I’ve had in ages.”

She smiled, not sure what to say to that. Now that the focus was off them, she wasn’t sure what to do. She wanted to spend more time with him – he was funny and fun, and didn’t seem to mind her weirdness. Plus, he was the first man in years who she’d clicked with. And not just because he was Tom Freaking Hiddleston.

But he was a famous actor. Surely he’d never in a million years be interested in her – she was three years older, a homebody who was most comfortable in her Alabama home, snuggled up with her cats watching “The Big Bang Theory.” Guys like him wanted skinny young things who wanted nothing more than to be arm candy at the next party or premiere.

She’d never been arm candy, she thought sadly. Memories clouded her brain, and brought her firmly back to Earth. _Nope, a guy this perfect is not for you._

She allowed herself one wistful sigh of regret, then smiled. “Well, I’d better run. You still have your interview to do, and I have to do a few things before my next one.”

Tom frowned. She looked suddenly distant – still friendly, but without the liveliness he’d seen in her. He worried he’d done something to turn her off. Maybe he’d scared her off when he said she was fantastic. For all he knew, she had a husband or boyfriend waiting at home. Or girlfriend, for that matter. That would be typical of his luck – finding such an amazing woman, feeling such an attraction for her, only for her to be unavailable.

How to ask without being too obvious? _Stall!_ his mind shouted.

“I really enjoyed your book.”

Cait stopped. “Wow. You read it?”

“Natalie told me how much she loved it, and loaned me her copy. I couldn’t put it down.”

Cait knew she was gawking at him, but she couldn’t help it. “I … thank you so much! I don’t know what to say.” What she wanted to say was _OH MY GOD, Tom Hiddleston likes my book! OMG OMG OMG!!!_

“I wish I had a copy with me, actually – maybe you could sign it for me.”

Cait smiled. “Hang on one minute.”

She dashed off down the hall, and was back a moment later with her purse and a heavy satchel slung over one shoulder. She tugged a copy of her book out, along with a Sharpie, and began scrawling on an inside page.

“Here,” she said after a minute, handing the book to Tom. “Your own copy.”

Tom was delighted. “Thank you so much! I wasn’t hinting, I promise.”

She laughed. “I always keep a couple of copies, just in case.”

He started to open the book to read her inscription, and she stopped him. “Don’t read it now.”

“Why not?”

She smiled, and glanced over his shoulder as the producer began calling for him, Chris and Natalie. “Just wait until I’m gone. It was great to meet you, Tom.”

She turned and walked quickly down the hallway. Tom moved to follow her – he desperately wanted to see her again, but hadn’t even gotten her phone number. But the producer stepped in front of him.

“We’re ready for you, Mr. Hiddleston.”

“Yes, just one moment.” But when he looked, Cait was gone.

He was crushed. Why the hell hadn’t he asked for her number?

Tom opened the book, ignoring the producer for one more moment to read what Cait had written there.

_“To Tom -_

_Thanks for being such an inspiration._

_Also for being the most gorgeous man I’ve ever met!_

_Love, Cait.”_


	5. The Long Road - Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caitlyn Bryer is enjoying the taste of success that comes with having written a bestselling novel. But what will happen when she finally meets the inspiration for her book’s beloved hero?

CHAPTER FIVE

Cait scowled into her hot chocolate. It had done nothing to displease her, yet there was nothing and nobody else for her to take out her frustration on. She considered going back to the counter for a cookie – at least then she’d have something to break.

She was a happy person in general. She loved her home, her family and friends. She was finally finding professional success doing what she loved most. Sure, her love life was nonexistent, but that hadn’t bothered her.

Until today.

Why had fate thrown such temptation into her path? Especially a temptation like Tom Hiddleston, who she knew she could never have?

All her old insecurities and misbegotten dreams filled her mind again, a dark cloud hanging over the joy of the morning. Not wanting to spend time dwelling on old pain, Cait dug her phone out of her purse and switched the ringer back on. She flipped to her messaging app, and felt her mood lift a bit at the  texts Monica had sent in the past two hours.

_You are such a bitch! Don’t tease me with CHRIS HEMSWORTH and then ignore me!_

_Where are you?!_

_Hey!_  
Hey!  
HEY!  
HEY!!!!

Cait laughed out loud in the middle of the coffee shop. She hit the speed dial for Monica and braced herself.

“YOU SUCK SO HARD!!!!”

“Hey, I got your picture, didn’t I?”

“I said SHIRTLESS. Dude. Shirtless! Is that so hard?”

“Yeah. Next time I want a shirtless pic of some dude you meet, I want to see you walk over and say ‘Hey, take off your shirt and let me get a picture.’ ” Cait thought about that for a moment. “On second thought, you’d totally do that.”

“Damn right, because you’re my girl,” Monica said. “Nice to see it doesn’t work both ways!”

“Oh calm down. I did try, actually,” Cait remembered. “During the second video. Oh God, Monica, the second video … I just can’t even …”

Monica was quiet for a moment. “What happened?” she said calmly. She knew Cait better than anyone, and there was something in Cait’s voice that she didn’t like.

Cait rubbed her forehead. “I got a little crazy.”

“Uh oh.”

Monica and Cait had been friends since they met in college over 15 years ago. They’d shared a lot of laughs, a lot of tears. Each knew the others’ deepest fears and dreams. Neither was much of a shrinking violet, to say the least. So Monica knew that if Cait thought she’d gotten “a little crazy,” shit must have gotten wild.

“Yeah. So turns out they did corner me about the Tom Hiddleston/Aidan thing.”

“Okay, that’s not that big a deal.”

“And turns out Ronnie told them about my Hiddles impression.”

“Fucker.”

“Right?! But they talked me into doing it on camera.”

Monica laughed. “Okay, that’s still not too bad.”

“And turns out he was there.”

“Who?”

“Tom Hiddleston. He busted me while I was on stage.”

The phone was quiet for a moment. “Okay. Let me see if I have this straight. You were doing your impression of Tom Hiddleston in front of Tom Hiddleston?”

“Yep.”

More silence. “All of it?”

“Yep.”

“Even the ‘Mjolnir in my pants’ bit?”

“Yep.”

“Huh.”

“Yep, that’s about right.” Cait took a sip of her cocoa and waited. Sure enough …

“HOLY. SHIT. That is the greatest thing I’ve ever heard!!!!!” Monica screamed with laughter. Cait continued sipping her cocoa while it was hot – she knew from experience that Monica would need a few minutes to finish laughing.

“Where can I watch this?” Monica finally said, her voice weak from laughing.

“Their website, I guess,” Cait said, realizing she hadn’t gotten the details. “I don’t know when it’ll be posted – I only just finished about a half hour ago.”

“What did he say?” Cait could still hear tears of laughter in Monica’s voice. She didn’t mind Monica laughing. She would have laughed too if the tables were turned.

“He was amazing. He offered me a dance lesson. By the way, the dancing? Even hotter close up. He was just as sweet and funny in person as he is in interviews. And about a million times sexier.” She sighed.

Monica was quiet again for a while. “Why are you upset?”

Cait didn’t bother to ask how Monica knew. The two were so in tune with each other that sometimes words weren’t even necessary.

“You know how long it’s been since I’ve felt any kind of connection with a guy. And I felt one with him. Of all people. I honestly think sometimes that I subconsciously set out to sabotage myself.”

“Cait, you being into him isn’t a bad thing! And you’ve been attracted to him for years, so it’s not that surprising, surely?”

“That was different – that was a celebricrush. It’s not real – it’s like having an imaginary boyfriend. But now I’ve met him, and it’s like … he’s real. He’s a real guy, and I feel a real connection to him. And that is just so hopeless I can’t even handle it.”

“Cait, for God’s sake, why are you just automatically assuming it’s hopeless! Have you stopped to consider he might be interested in you, too?”

“Mon, please. He’s TOM HIDDLESTON. He’s a famous, hottie actor. He can have any pretty young thing with a perfect, perky body. No way he goes for an older woman with nothing perfect or perky in sight.”

Monica heaved a massively annoyed sigh. “I hate when you start this shit. How hard have you worked, Cait? You have accomplished so much! I know you recognize it. Why do you still run yourself down like this?”

Cait rested her forehead in the palm of her free hand, and braced her elbow on the table. She felt tears threatening and mercilessly pushed them back. She had no reason to cry – her life was amazing. This one situation wasn’t going to change that.

“Look. You’ve made a lot of positive changes in your life, babe. Now you need to realize it. You need to acknowledge that you’re not that awkward, 350-pound girl you were. You’re a strong, successful woman who has made herself into a smoking hottie!”

Cait snorted, still trying to control her tears.

Monica persisted. “I’m serious! Do you know how close I am to beating the ever-loving shit out of my little brother if he pesters me ONE MORE TIME to set him up with you?”

“Christ, Rick?! He’s 12!” Cait yelped. “I used to babysit him!”

“That’s what I always say! He just gets huffy and points out that he’s 25, and makes some remark about liking older women.”

“Jesus, Monica, don’t tell me shit like that. I think my ovaries just shriveled.”

“Okay, bad example, but if my horndog little brother thinks you’re that hot, you have to agree you’ve got it going on.”

Cait just laughed, then sighed. “I love you, you know that?”

“You’d damn well better. No one shit-talks my best friend. Not even my best friend.”

“Thanks Monica. I guess it’s a moot point anyway. I doubt I’ll ever see him again.”

 

*****

Tom sat quietly with Chris and Natalie, poking listlessly at the salad he’d ordered for lunch. He couldn’t work up much enthusiasm for food and conversation. He kept going back over his final moments with Cait, trying to figure out where things went wrong.

He didn’t consider himself an arrogant man, but he could admit to himself he’d become used to the admiration of women wherever he went. And he knew Cait must have an interest in him on some level, if she’d admired him enough to base a character on him.

Maybe the reality of him didn’t live up to her expectations? He poked the salad again, this time with a bit of aggression. He just couldn’t sort out what had happened. One minute she’d seemed as excited as he by their interaction. Then she’d just shut him out.

“Okay mate, what’s going on? If you torture that salad anymore, I’m calling Amnesty,” joked Chris.

Natalie swatted Chris lightly on the shoulder, then patted Tom on the arm. “Seriously, are you okay? You’ve seemed down since we left the studio.”

“Sorry, really, I don’t mean to be mopey,” Tom said, sitting up and smiling.

“Tom, it’s us – you can talk about it,” Chris said, realizing that his friend was truly upset about something.

“Was there something in the interview?” Natalie asked.

“No, it was just …” he sighed. “It was the whole thing with Caitlyn Bryer.”

“You weren’t offended, were you? Really, the whole bit was fantastic,” Chris assured him.

“No, I wasn’t offended at all – it was fun. She’s amazing.”

“Well then what’s the problem?” Chris said. But Natalie was watching Tom, and a small smile crossed her lovely face.

“You like her.”

Tom turned to Natalie, meeting her knowing gaze. “Yes, I really do. I’ve never met anyone like that. I just really wanted to spend more time with her.”

“Why can’t you?” Natalie said.

“I don’t know what happened.” Tom slouched in his chair and went back to mangling his salad. “One minute we were talking like we’d known each other for years. Then the next, it was like she couldn’t wait to get away. I tried to get her number, but she took off.”

“She could be married, mate,” Chris said, patting his friend on the shoulder. “A woman who looks like that – I’d find it hard to believe she isn’t involved with someone.”

Tom scowled, but Natalie chimed in. “No, I don’t think she is. I read an article about her in the _Times_ last week, and I’m pretty sure they said she was single and lives alone.”

Tom felt his spirits rise a bit at that, but then sink again. “Then why did she run away?”

“Well, I’m sorry to say this, but she might not have felt the same way you did?” Natalie said apologetically.

“It’s her loss if that’s the case,” Chris said loyally.

“I just hate not knowing,” Tom said morosely. Chris slid the salad plate away before he could do any more damage.

“You never know, Tom,” Chris said. “You may get another shot yet.”

“No point in dwelling on it, I suppose,” Tom said. “I probably won’t see her again.”

 

*****

Cait was beyond thrilled to be home. It had been a long two months since she’d slept in her own bed.

“Still pissed, Monkey?” she said to the fluffy orange cat as it flounced past. Monkey had been sulking ever since she’d picked him up from her mother’s house the day before. Cait wasn’t sure if he was mad that she’d left him so long, or because she’d taken him away from her mom, who compensated for her lack of grandchildren by spoiling the cat rotten.

The last three weeks of her book tour had been wild. Ever since the video of her and Tom’s shenanigans had gone viral, the interview requests had skyrocketed. Her publicist was over the moon, and so was she, to a lesser degree. She was happy people were interested in her book, but she was bone tired.

There’s no place like home, she thought, reaching down to pet Monkey’s thick fur. He huffed and stalked off.

“Same to you, buddy.”

Cait puttered around the house most of the day, sorting through the horror of mail that had built up, and getting some basic chores done. She made a grocery run and put together a pot of soup. Monica was coming for dinner, and Cait was desperate for a home-cooked meal, even one she had to cook herself.

She was just stretching out on the couch to begin catching up with two months of recordings on her DVR when the phone rang. She glanced at the caller ID, and groaned when she saw it was her agent, David.

She considered ignoring it, but her mama had taught her better manners than that.

“Hey David.”

“Hey honey. How’s home?”

Cait considered herself very fortunate to have an agent like David. He was older, and had been in the business for many years. But he’d taken to Cait, and acted like a second father to her. He was also very protective of her and her career.

“Great. Monkey isn’t speaking to me, but other than that …”

David chuckled. “Well, I’m sorry to bother you your first full day home, but something big has come up, and we need to move on it.”

Cait sat up and frowned. “That doesn’t sound good.”

“It’s not good – it’s AMAZING.” David laughed. “Cait, 20th Century Fox wants to acquire the screen rights to ‘The Long Road.’ They want to make it into a movie!”

 


	6. The Long Road - Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caitlyn Bryer is enjoying the taste of success that comes with having written a bestselling novel. But what will happen when she finally meets the inspiration for her book's beloved hero?

CHAPTER SIX

Monica let herself into Cait’s house – the privilege of a best friend. “Where you at?” she yelled into the silence. No response.

She wandered through rooms in search of her friend, admiring as she always did how the house was just so perfectly Cait. The adorable little bungalow-style was infused with her dramatic love of color throughout every inch, without going over the top. A sassy turquoise front door, a bright yellow entryway, subtle lime green accents. What could have been a Pantone nightmare was warm and inviting, but fun and vibrant all at once. Just like its owner.

Monica heard a sound from the living room and detoured in that direction. She found Cait slumped on the overstuffed blue sofa, staring at nothing.

“Yo.”

Cait didn’t move.

“Should I panic, or are you being a drama queen?”

Cait turned and stared at Monica. “Don’t panic. Not sure about the drama queen part yet, though.”

“Want me to slap you?”

“Maybe.” Cait caught the gleam in Monica’s eye and slouched away from her. “Fuck off. I need booze.”

“Do you have booze?”

Cait snorted. “Do I have booze? Who are you talking to?”

“Solid point. Okay, is this a level one drink situation, or more like a level five?”

“Level ten.”

Monica paused. “I don’t even know what drink that might be.”

“Two level fives.”

“Gotcha.”

This system had started in the girls’ college days. A level one drink was just something small to calm the nerves – something fruity and frilly, with very little actual alcohol content.

A level five was a holy shit, need full anesthetizing, no memories of the past 24 hours kinda drink.

Monica perused Cait’s inexplicably well-stocked bar, and began dumping shots of whatever seemed interesting into a shaker. “You know you have no alcohol tolerance anymore – ready to get tore up?”

“Screw it. As long as I’m recovered by Thanksgiving.”

“Well, that’s in two days, so maybe you should pace yourself.” Monica dumped the contents of the shaker into two glasses and handed one off.

“I thought those were both mine,” Cait said.

“Friends don’t let friends drink alone.”

Cait snorted and sampled the concoction. She couldn’t pinpoint any specific ingredients, but it tasted amazing. And high octane. “You could make a fortune as a bartender,” she commented.

“Nah. I can never duplicate the same drink twice.” Monica sipped, approved, and flopped down on the other end of the couch. “Now what’s the deal?”

Cait let her head fall back against the cushions. “A movie.”

“We’ll watch a movie later – tell me what you’re all worked up about first,” Monica said impatiently.

“No, that’s it. A studio wants to make ‘The Long Road’ into a movie.”

Monica stared at her friend, jaw dropped. Cait lifted her head and stared back.

Suddenly Monica screamed, springing across the couch and landing on her best friend. “A MOVIE?!”

Cait laughed and let Monica pin her shoulders to the couch. “Yep.”

“Don’t you yep me, you badass heifer!” Monica snatched a throw pillow and used it to smack Cait. “How are you not more excited?!”

“I’m in shock! Plus I think you’re excited enough for the both of us!” Cait said as she dodged blows from the pillow. “Don’t spill my damn drink.”

Monica screeched again and smacked Cait a few more times. “Dude! Dude! DUDE!”

Cait laughed at Monica’s antics, and felt the icy wave of shock that had washed over her with David’s call finally begin to recede.

“Oh my God. Oh my GOD!”

She sprang up and hopped up and down on the couch. Monica leaped up beside her and the two women dissolved into a flurry of shrieks and unintelligible conversation.

*****

Three hours later, exhaustion and alcohol had combined to calm both women into near comas.

Cait had been level-headed enough to force both of them to eat something. The soup and whole-wheat bread had been a nutritious counter-balance to the alcohol.

The chocolate cheesecake, not so much.

“I think I’m dying,” Cait groaned.

“Prolly,” Monica said, unconcerned. “You’re outta practice.”

“Ugh.”

“So whas the deal? Do you get to write the screen-thingy?”

“The huh?”

“The – fuck it, I don’t know. Script?”

“Oh.” Cait sat up and grabbed a notepad from the coffee table. She squinted at it. “Is my handwriting really that shitty?”

Monica lurched forward, nearly flopping into Cait’s lap. She too squinted at the notepad. “Can’t read a fuckin’ thing.”

“Crap. How’d I write a book?” She heaved the notepad across the room, earning an annoyed flick of Monkey’s tail. “David told me. I wrote it.”

“What’d he say? Did he say they won’t fuck it up? You can’t let them fuck it up!” Monica’s voice rose with drunken passion.

“Naw – he said I could help. I get to go help so they don’t fuck it up.”

“Want my knife?”

“Might.” Cait flopped back on the couch and eyed Monica, who was motionless on the floor. “You dead?”

“Nope. You?”

“Not yet. Might sleep, though.”

“Me too.”

*****

“35 years. I’ve gone 35 years, but today may finally be the day I kill a man.”

Cait glared across the table at the prepubescent-looking little hipster who she was contemplating murdering. The little fucker at least had the sense to look afraid, but not enough sense to shut up.

“Really Cait, you just don’t have the experience in screenwriting to understand something like this,” the fucker said in his most condescending tone.

“Pookie, let me tell you something.” She leaned on the table, her eyes drilling into his skull. “I created this story. I built this world. I put four years of my life into it. That means I’ve been working on this basically since you graduated from preschool. And you think you’re going to sit here in your stupid-ass little hat and jeans so tight I can tell your religion, and tell ME you’re going to make that big a change in MY story?”

She leaned further forward until she was about five inches from Sean’s face. “You will have to stab me in the heart with a wooden stake before I allow it to happen.”

Thankfully for Sean and his testicles, which Cait had already questioned the existence of several times, Abigail Reeser walked in at that moment. The senior screenwriter took one look at the scene before her and sighed in exasperation.

“Now what?”

Sean slumped in palpable relief as Cait turned her attention away from him. Abigail noted, not for the first time, how Cait’s warm brown eyes could turn strangely glacial when it came to her young colleague.

“Sean thinks that we should edit out Aidan’s military career.”

Abigail turned to stare at her young charge. “Are you insane?”

“Oh come on, it’s so plebian!” Sean whined. “It’s been done to death.”

Cait whirled back with a snarl, but Abigail stepped in front of her and simply raised a hand. It spoke volumes about Cait’s level of respect for the veteran screenwriter that she instantly quieted at the command.

“Sean, that’s just stupid. Aidan’s military career is one of the driving forces of the plot. Why don’t you get back to work on stage direction like I told you?” Abigail said curtly. Sean pouted, but subsided.

“Cait, can I see you outside for a minute?” Abigail continued, frowning at the younger woman.

Cait followed her out the door, through the corridors and into the small garden area outside.

“Abby, I love you. You’re amazing, and you’re doing amazing things with this screenplay. But if Junior in there keeps it up, I’m going to have to whoop his ass.” Cait collapsed on a nearby bench, exhausted.

The past month and a half had been utter madness. Contracts to be signed, deals to be done. Cait was interested in the process of how a book became a movie, but she’d quickly become overwhelmed by the amount of detail and the number of people involved.

David had been a magician, negotiating so that she was involved in the screenwriting process as a consultant, and wrangling her a sweet deal as far as monetary compensation. If the movie version of “The Long Road” played well, she’d be a rich woman for the rest of her life.

Now she split her time between her home in Alabama and Abigail’s offices just outside of Los Angeles. The past several weeks had been grueling on her, but she wasn’t willing to spend all her time in California, so she endured the twice-weekly plane trips.

 _It’ll be worth it in the end_ , she thought, rubbing her aching neck. _If I don’t kill that little bitch Sean._

“Cait, listen to me.” Abigail sat down next to Cait on the bench and faced her. “You have to relax. And you have to trust me.”

“I do trust you, but –“

“No buts,” Abby said firmly. “I’ve done this for many years. I know what I’m doing. Yes, Sean is … difficult.” Cait snorted, and was ignored. “But he actually is good at what he does. Do you really think I’d let him make a large adjustment like that?”

She stared calmly at the younger woman until Cait sighed. “I know you wouldn’t. I’m sorry. He just pushes my buttons.”

Abby laughed. “Oh, I know! Look, I know ‘Long Road’ is your baby. I promise you, I won’t let you down. But I really need you to trust me.”

Cait smiled wearily. “I promise, I do. I’m sorry I get so nuts. It’s just … I guess this story is my life right now, you know? It’s the biggest thing I’ve ever done. I’m having a hard time giving up control.”

“Honey, you’re running yourself ragged.” Abby put a maternal arm around Cait’s shoulders, briskly rubbing the knots of tension in her neck. “Between the publicity and the book signings, the travel and working on the screenplay, you’ll make yourself sick. You need to stop and breathe.”

Cait slumped back, resting her head on Abby’s arm. “You sound like David.”

“David’s a smart guy. And I’m a smart woman. Listen to us, Cait. You need to go home and take a couple of weeks off.”

Cait stiffened, ready to protest. But Abigail again stopped her with one hand raised like a traffic cop.

“Look. We’re light-years ahead of where we’d projected to be by now on the screenplay, and a big part of that is because of the work you’ve put in. I’ve already told the studio you’re getting a screenwriting credit on this, and they agreed. You’ve done enough for now, Cait.”

Noting that the other woman still looked unconvinced, Abby tried another angle.

“And once shooting begins, we’ll need you alert and on set to help us handle anything that comes up.” That seemed to strike home – Abby could see that Cait was starting to come around to her argument.

“From the sounds of things, they’re really expediting this one. I think they’re aiming to start filming in the next three months or so. Now that they’ve got the big casting hurdles out of the way – ”

“Whoa! What do you mean?” Cait sat up again, fully alert.

“Nobody told you? They got Aidan and Melissa signed on today. They’ll be announcing tomorrow.”

“Oh my God! No, they wouldn’t let me have any casting input, the bastards. Who did they get?”

“They signed Rebecca Fitzgerald for Melissa.”

Cait pondered that. Rebecca was still relatively unknown, but Cait had seen her in an indie film that the critics had adored. She was young, but projected strength and vulnerability in turn. And physically she fit the role like a glove.

“I like that. I actually hadn’t thought of her, but I think she’ll be amazing.” Cait relaxed a bit, relieved that they hadn’t gone with some tabloid darling.

“And for Aidan?”

She knew what Abby would say, though. She’d known for nearly two months, since David had called to tell her “The Long Road” would be a movie.

Who else could it possibly be?

“Well, all those online petitions the fans have been starting must have paid off!” Abby laughed. “Aidan will be played by Tom Hiddleston.”


	7. The Long Road - Chapter Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caitlyn Bryer is enjoying the taste of success that comes with having written a bestselling novel. But what will happen when she finally meets the inspiration for her book's beloved hero?

CHAPTER SEVEN

Tom was nervous. And it annoyed the hell out of him.

“This is crazy. I met the woman once for a few minutes nearly six months ago.” He slumped into one of the cushy armchairs opposite his friend and publicist.

“You’re right, it is crazy,” Luke said, never bothering to look up from his iPhone.

“Why am I so nervous to see her again?”

“Because you’re a psychotic git?”

“Thanks mate.” Tom grinned, too used to Luke’s no-bullshit attitude to take offense.

Luke stuffed the phone in his pocket and regarded his friend. “Look. I know you bonded with this woman or whatever. But you have to keep your focus on the film right now.”

“I will, of course. I just …” Tom trailed off, and sighed. “I don’t know why I haven’t been able to get Caitlyn Bryer out of my head these past few months.”

“Might have something to do with the 2 million hits the video of you two got? Or the fact that you’re starring in the movie based on her book? The script for which you’ve been memorizing for the past two months? Am I getting warmer?” Luke didn’t bother to hide his sarcastic nature from Tom – they’d been friends for too long, and he knew Tom appreciated the truth over sugar-coated diplomacy any day.

Tom rolled his eyes at Luke, but didn’t respond. All of Luke’s words were true. But Tom couldn’t shake the feeling that there had been more between him and Cait. It was a feeling that had plagued him now and then for six months, and left him out-of-sorts.

He was also anxious to see her again.

It was the first day of filming for “The Long Road.” He had yet to see her during any of the preproduction process – all script proceedings had been handled by Abigail Reeser. He liked Abby, having worked with her before, and it was Abby who’d told him that Cait would be on set today.

“I couldn’t keep her away with a shotgun,” Abby had told him, laughing. “That woman is stubborn as all hell. But she’s done an amazing job helping with the script – I promise it’s better for her input, even though she nearly killed Sean about 20 times.”

Tom had chuckled – having met Sean the day before, he could understand. “Where is she now?”

He’d asked the question in an off-hand manner, but Abby gave him a curious look. “She’ll be here next week when shooting starts. I kicked her out again. Her agent and I gang up on her now and then to take a week or so at home, otherwise she’ll kill herself working and traveling.”

Now Tom stood up, too impatient to stay cooped up in his trailer. Besides, he loved the first day of filming – getting to know all the cast and crew members, and greeting old friends from past projects. It was amazing how small the world of Hollywood could be.

“I’m going to wander around. Want to come?”

Luke waved a hand at him, once again caught up in his iPhone. “No. Once you bugger off I can finally get some work done.”

Tom returned his friend’s cheeky grin and left the trailer.

The first part of the shoot was taking place in and around the studio in Los Angeles, so the weather was beautiful. Tom knew that eventually production would move to a location in Georgia for some of the outdoor and rural scenes.

The basic plot of “The Long Road” was simple. Aidan Quimby was an American country boy – born and raised in the South to loving, hard-working parents who never seemed to be able to make ends meet. His childhood friend, Melissa Robinson, had grown up next door in a similar household, and the two had remained close all through childhood and their teens.

Aidan was a sensitive, strong and intelligent protagonist, but due to his dyslexia, he was a subpar student. His parents and teachers did what they could, but it was a poor district, and a poor family – the money for serious help wasn’t there. But he did his best.

Melissa was also keenly intelligent, and had her sights set higher than her poor upbringing. Her dream was to go to college, and get a job that would allow her to help her parents out of their circumstances. She worked hard, and won a full scholarship to the college of her choice.

But Aidan knew that in order to achieve more for himself and his family, his options were limited. So he joined the United States Army.

The book followed the friends on their separate journeys through growing up – especially the horrors Aidan went through in his military service – and the roads that led them back to their home, and to each other.

Though it sounded simplistic, the story had been brought richly to life through Cait’s writing, and Tom had already seen that the script retained the wit and spirit of the novel. He was eager to begin testing his mettle in the role of Aidan.

Tom had just turned away from the craft services table with a bottle of water in hand when someone crashed into him at a high speed. He stumbled back a step, and dropped the open bottle to catch the dervish who’d whirled into his path before they crashed to the ground. Tightening his arms around her (for this was most definitely a female form pressed against him), he righted himself and held her close until she could regain her own balance.

He glanced down, an instinctive apology on his lips. An apology that died as he stared down into a wide, familiar pair of brown eyes.

*****

Cait could only stare.

All the stress, all the havoc and anxiety that had been building inside of her throughout the day, through one crisis after another, was gone in an instant. She stared into those amazing eyes that had popped in and out of her subconscious over the past few months, and lost all train of thought.

“Hello, Cait,” he said softly, shoving her rowdy curls out of her face. He kept his arms wrapped around her, steadying her.

Cait felt that long, muscled body pressed against hers – the body she’d long admired in various photos and videos across the internet. He felt even more amazing than he looked, if such a thing was possible.

“Wow,” she breathed. “Hi.”

Tom smiled. “Are you okay? That was quite a crash.”

All at once, Cait remembered where she was, and why she’d been in such a hurry. She shook her head quickly to clear it, and stepped away from Tom. Her long-neglected libido threatened all kinds of horrible revenge as she put distance between their bodies.

 _Calm it down_ , she warned herself. _He’s waaaay out of our league._

“I’m fine, thanks. I’m so sorry about that.” She ran a nervous hand over her hair. “Hey! How are you?”

Tom stuck his hands in the pockets of his jeans to keep from grabbing hold of her again. She’d felt so amazing in his arms, against his body. She was just as beautiful as he remembered, and just as full of life and energy. He could almost feel his palms tingling from where they’d touched her.

“I’m good. It’s good to see you again.”

Cait smiled. “I’m glad you took the part. Really, no one else could have been Aidan.”

Tom rocked back slightly on his heels, feeling his face heat. “Thanks, that really means a lot from you.”

The pair stood awkwardly for a moment, until Tom glanced around. “Where were you off to in such a hurry?”

“Oh crap!” Cait jumped slightly as she remembered. “I’m supposed to be meeting with Abby and the director right now. I have no freaking clue where anything is, though.”

“Where are you supposed to be?”

“Conference room 6B?”

“Here, I’ll show you,” Tom offered, gesturing her forward. “I’ve filmed here before.”

They walked in silence for a minute. Cait berated herself for being so awkward around him. Her irrational crush on the man shouldn’t interfere with their working relationship. _Make conversation, idiot_ , she muttered internally.

“Um. What have you been up to lately?” she asked lamely.

Tom could feel her tension, which fed his own. “Working, mostly. You?”

“Same.”

After a few more awkward pleasantries, Tom had had enough and stopped.

“Cait.”

She paused, and turned to face him. He took her arm and pulled her to the side of the hallway, out of the way.

“Are you upset with me for some reason?” he asked bluntly.

Cait felt her eyes widen with shock. “No! Not at all! Why do you ask?”

“Granted, I don’t know you that well, but you don’t seem to be uncomfortable with most people,” he said. “Yet you’re uncomfortable with me now.”

Cait didn’t bother to deny it. She was glad he’d come out and said something, so that she didn’t have to. “I know, I’m sorry. It’s nothing to do with you, I promise.”

“What is it? We seemed to get along so well last time we met.”

Cait leaned against the wall, facing him, and thought through the best way to answer.

“I guess it’s two things. One, I’m kinda embarrassed about the last time I saw you!”

Tom laughed. “What, the inscription in the book?”

“Yes. I was being a smart-ass, and I didn’t think I’d see you again.”

“Well, better than letting me go on camera with my fly unzipped,” he chuckled.

She colored, not bothering to correct him. She’d meant the part about telling him he was the most gorgeous man she’d ever met.

“And also, I’m always a little uncomfortable around really hot guys,” she blurted.

Tom blinked.

“Yeah, there’s that,” she said, feeling her face heat to boiling.

“Wow. That’s flattering,” he said, not sure how to respond. His inner 12-year-old was jumping up and down, yelling _She thinks I’m hot_!

Cait winced. _“That’s flattering.”_ Yuck. He must be horrified.

“I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” she hurried on. “I mean, you are what you are, and you can’t help how you look. It’s just a holdover from my younger years, really good-looking men make me uncomfortable sometimes.”

Tom frowned. “I don’t like the sound of that.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to make things weird!” Cait threw her hands up in exasperation at herself. “I’m just saying, this is my hangup, but I’ll get over it. You seem like a nice guy, and I’d like to be friends, if we can?”

Oh God, she was blowing him off. Tom managed a stiff smile. “Sure.”

He was uncomfortable now, she could tell. Lord, he must think she was some sort of lovestruck idiot. “Great.”

The two continued down the hall in silence, each mired in the conviction that they’d somehow screwed up.


	8. The Long Road - Chapter Eight

CHAPTER EIGHT

Cait wandered around the set in a daze, searching for the couch she knew must be there somewhere.

“Oh thank the tiny baby Jesus,” she muttered when she found it, and flopped face-first onto the cushions. She spared one brief thought to how many asses had touched the couch over the years, and shoved her hand between her face and the fabric in a half-ass attempt at hygiene.

She had never been so damn tired in her life.

Three weeks into shooting on “The Long Road,” and she was ready to drop. And there was still a month to go. She groaned in horror at the thought.

“Cait? Are you okay?”

She tensed at the hesitant question. She hadn’t heard Tom approach, and was reluctant to face him.

The past three weeks had been … awkward, to say the least.

Cait had been torn between wanting to spend as much time around him as possible – he was, after all, her favorite actor playing the role she had created. But she’d been afraid he’d think she was some weird stalker chick, after she’d basically fangirled all over him the first day of filming. For God’s sake, she’d told him she thought he was hot! And he’d been so clearly uncomfortable when he said he was flattered, she still cringed at the memory.

As for Tom, he’d been super nice to her every time they’d encountered one another, but he still seemed uncomfortable around her. During her years as a self-loathing, obese loner, she’d become hyper-sensitive to the attitudes of others when she was around. Monica called it paranoia, and she wasn’t totally wrong. But Cait knew when people were reacting to her, and Tom was definitely uncomfortable.

Cait heaved a sigh and rolled over onto her back, too tired to actually manage sitting. She squinted up at Tom, who was still wearing his costume from the day’s scenes – Army fatigue pants and a snug white t-shirt, with Aidan’s dog tags looped around his neck. His reddish hair was cropped fairly short, although Cait knew the director had refused to allow them to give him a buzzcut. Cait couldn’t help but agree.

She skimmed her gaze over the shirt again, noting as she had all day how gloriously his arm and chest muscles were defined by the cheap cotton. Her ovaries stood at attention and gave him a vigorous salute.

Cait flopped her head back down and shut her eyes. “I’m fine. Just wiped.”

“Rough day?”

She shook her head. “Rough month. Good lord, Tom, how do you do this several times a year without killing someone?”

Tom laughed, that perfect, iconic laugh that made her want to climb into his lap and bite him.

“I guess you get used to it,” he said, sitting on the arm of the couch by her feet. “And then you come to love it.”

She popped her head up to stare at him. “I don’t think I could do it. Fly here, fly there, work 14 hours a day, be around so many FREAKING PEOPLE all the time!”

Tom snorted at the distressed wail in her voice and, taking a chance, shifted to lift her feet, sliding down onto the couch and placing her feet in his lap. She simply flopped her head back down, so he relaxed.

“And here I would have taken you for a people person, Cait.”

“I don’t hate people, but I can’t handle being around them all the time! It’s fine for a while, but then I need to go back into my cave for a while. And there’s no cave here.”

She propped her head up on one arm and smiled at him. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to whine. Here you are doing the hard work. I’m just lurking around trying not to be too big a pain in the ass.”

Tom smiled back. “You’re not a pain in the ass. I can’t imagine how stressful it must be to have someone else trying to bring your story to life.”

She stared. Very few people seemed to understand that. They just thought she should sit on her ass and just be happy that they’d deemed her work good enough to be a movie at all.

“Thank you for that,” she said quietly. “It helps knowing you get it. But you have to know, I have no concerns about you. You’re bringing Aidan to life in ways I never dreamed of, and it’s been amazing to watch.”

Tom ran a hand over his hair, and shrugged. “Thank you. But really, it’s your creation. I’m just fortunate enough to play the part.”

Cait sat up quickly, ready to argue, but realized too late that there was a lamp hanging ridiculously low over the center of the couch.

Tom saw the collision was imminent, but wasn’t quick enough to keep Cait from smacking her head into the shade. He winced at the _thwack_ , and she clutched a hand to her forehead.

“Shit! Damn it! Rat-fucking son of a monkey bastard!” Cait groaned as she rubbed her head.

Tom whooped with laughter, falling back against the couch weakly, unable to stop. Cait glared at him, still holding one hand to her head and swatting irritably at the lamp with the other.

“I’m fine, thanks for asking.”

“Oh God, I’m sorry!” he wheezed weakly. “I’ve just never heard cursing like that! ‘Rat-fucking son of a monkey bastard’, ” he cried, giggling all over again.

“Oh,” Cait muttered. “Yeah, well. I’m the creative type.”

Still chuckling, Tom reached over to brush Cait’s hair back and see her head. He frowned and sat up when he saw the lump forming on her temple.

“Come here, let me take a look.” And with that, he hauled Cait over to his side of the couch and right up next to him, then put one hand at the back of her head while the other gently probed her forehead.

Cait sat perfectly still, stunned to suddenly be this close to him. He smelled amazing – fresh and masculine at once. She stared at his eyes, noting that they were almost green in this light. Her gaze lingered on his jawline before moving on to his thin, but beautiful lips. Then she went back to staring at those amazing eyes, which were currently frowning in concern at the bump on her head.

She gave serious thought to just crawling into his lap and setting up camp there. The thought made her curse her inner fangirl and start to pull away, when suddenly his eyes locked onto hers.

And nothing in the world could have moved her then.

Tom stared into the warm brown eyes that had captivated him for so long, and was at a loss as to what he should do. Part of his brain instructed him to move away, he didn’t want to make her uncomfortable, and she likely needed ice anyway.

The louder part of his brain – and areas south of his brain as well – were shouting at him to just kiss her, already.

He felt his thumb stroke absently over the creamy soft skin of her cheek as his eyes trailed down to her lips. They were devoid of lipstick or gloss, yet looked enticingly soft. As he watched, her lips parted slightly, and he nearly groaned aloud.

He leaned forward, eyes darting back up to hers as if to seek permission or denial. She had what could only be described as a look of wonder on her face before her eyes drifted shut and she leaned into him.

That was all Tom needed. He slid both hands into her hair and tilted her head up. He heard the small, sharp gasp, then felt her breath ghost over his lips in a small sigh.

And then he heard footsteps heading right for them.

Snatching his hands back, Tom leaned sharply away from Cait just as Abby and Sean rounded the corner.

“Hey guys! Tom, aren’t you ready to get out of costume?” Abby said cheerfully.

“Uh, yeah,” he ground out. He liked Abby tremendously, but he’d never been so pissed to see anyone in his whole life. “Cait hit her head, I was just checking it.”

Abby immediately swooped down on the younger woman like the mother hen she was. “Oh, you have a bump! How hard did you hit it? Come on, you need ice. Are you dizzy?”

Tom stood as Abby clucked around her charge, his eyes meeting Cait’s over her head. She looked dazed, but he couldn’t help but wonder if that was due to her injury or the almost-kiss.

Cait allowed Abby to pull her up from the couch and lead her away in search of ice. She could feel Tom’s stare on her back like a physical touch. She turned to look at him over her shoulder, and even someone as clueless as she could see the hunger in his eyes.

Hunger for her.

****

Cait curled up on the bed in her hotel room, staring unseeing at the movie playing on the TV across the room. Her head ached slightly, but after some ice Abby had pronounced her okay and allowed her to leave unaccompanied.

She hadn’t seen Tom again before she left.

Her mind played that moment on the couch in a continuous loop, searching for nuance. He’d definitely intended to kiss her.

To kiss. Her. KISS her. HER.

Tom Hiddleston had wanted to kiss her. She absolutely could not wrap her mind around that.

She took a sip of her cocoa, watching but not noticing as another scientifically impossible tornado swooped down on the unsuspecting metropolis on TV. She loved disaster movies, the cheesier the better. But not even that could take her mind off the new weirdness in her life.

Time to call for backup, she thought, snagging her phone.

“Caitlyn. Marie. Bryer. Do you have ANY fucking clue what time it is?”

Cait stole a guilty look at the bedside clock – 10 pm. Which meant it was midnight back home, and Monica always went to bed early.

“Sorry. Want me to hang up?”

“Well you’re woken me the fuck up now,” Monica grumbled. “What the hell do you want?”

Cait knew Monica loved her, and would do anything for her. But waking her up was guaranteed to put Monica in a bitch-cutting kinda mood. So she didn’t beat around the bush.

“Tom almost kissed me.”

There was such a long pause on the other end of the line that Cait wondered if Monica had gone back to sleep. But then she heard sheets rustling.

“Let me get this straight. Tom Hiddleston. The actor who you’ve lusted after for many moons. Featured on many ‘sexiest men alive’ lists. The face that launched a thousand smutty fanfics. The man who can drop panties with a single pelvic thrust. Tried to kiss you.”

“Yep.”

There was another long pause.

“Why did he not succeed in kissing you?”

“Because someone interrupted us.”

Monica cleared her throat. “Who gives a shit?”

“Mon –”

“No! Tom FREAKING Hiddleston was about to kiss you! I don’t care if the seventh fleet is walking down the hall, you jump him and shove your tongue down his throat! If someone feels the need to watch, make them take the pictures!”

Cait laughed helplessly. “Monica, be serious.”

“Uh, bitch, I am serious.”

“Mon, please.”

Monica sighed. “You’re freaked out, aren’t you?”

“Yes! You know I’ve never had a guy like this be interested in me. I feel like I’m pulling a bait and switch on him. Sure, I look pretty good now, but underneath the clothes is Spanx, saggy boobs and stretch marks.”

Cait could hear the plea in her voice – a plea for someone, anyone, to understand that no matter how much weight she’d lost, she’d bear the marks of it forever. And she knew that many men just weren’t interested in that reality.

At first, after she’d managed through an overhaul of her eating habits and a strict exercise routine to lose 200 pounds, Cait had been happy to share her achievement with the world. Friends and family had been so supportive, so she didn’t see a problem sharing the story with the men who were suddenly eager to date her.

The problem was, hearing that she’d once weighed 350 pounds was apparently quite the turnoff for most men. They were generally polite about it, but they didn’t call again.

She’d quickly learned that in many ways, the stigma of being overweight would always follow her. So she’d stopped sharing. The experience had also meant not letting anyone see the body she still feared no one would ever want.

“Cait, listen to me. I know why you’re scared. I’ve been with you through the whole thing, I get where you’re coming from. But those douchebags you went out with were NOT representative of every guy in the world! You can’t hide yourself forever because of a few jackasses. There are guys who will want you because they like you, not because of how you look or what you wear. And Tom just might be one of them, if you give him a chance.”

“But Monica, what if he isn’t?”

“Then you move on, just like you did from all the other losers.”

Cait sighed. “I don’t know if I could move on from that, Mon. Tom’s not just some random guy. He’s not even just a famous hot guy, or a celebricrush anymore. He’s a good guy. There’s something between us, I can feel it. It scares me.”

“Honey, you’ve worked so hard. You’re claiming your life. But you can’t fully claim your life until you let go of these fears and open up to people.”

“I know.” The friends talked for another couple of minutes before Cait told Monica to get back to sleep.

Cait went back to staring unseeing at the TV as the rebellious meteorologist outlined a preposterous plan to save the cities from the rogue tornadoes. Cait tuned in for a second to be sure that the plan involved a nuclear device – they always did – before returning her thoughts to Monica’s advice.

Her phone beeped to signal a new text message. She didn’t recognize the number.

_This is Tom. Hope you don’t mind – Abby gave me your number. I just wanted to say … remember where we left off._

Cait gaped at her phone, reading the message again.

So much for sleep tonight.

 


	9. The Long Road - Chapter Nine

CHAPTER NINE

Tom threw the covers off and sat up on the side of the bed, ramming one hand through his hair in frustration.

So close. He had the world’s worst luck.

That almost-kiss had been running on a loop in his head for hours, making sleep an impossibility. He could still feel the softness of her skin, and the warmth of her breath on his lips.

So damn close.

After Abby had absconded with Cait, Tom had moped off to his trailer to change clothes and take a much-needed cold shower. He’d found excuses to linger around the studio for a while until he began to feel like a stalker and went back to his hotel. Room service, a nightcap and the latest hit comedy on the TV in his room hadn’t been enough to distract him. No books interested him. Sleep was unattainable.

What – or who – he really wanted was out of his reach for tonight. And that was making him crazy.

Tom flopped back onto the bed, absently rubbing a hand over his bare chest. His long legs were covered by his favorite pair of cotton drawstring pajama pants. He never saw the point of bothering with much more than that unless it was cold, or unless he had company. Tom strongly preferred to be comfortable in his personal time.

He found himself wondering what exactly it was about Cait that had captivated him so. He was drawn by her beauty and intelligence, of course. But he’d been around women who were equally beautiful, equally smart. And though no one could quite equal Cait’s unique sense of humor, he’d known women with abundant wit.

The problem was, it wasn’t any tangible quality that made Cait so intoxicating. It was just … her. Her beauty, wisdom and humor, as well as her strength and style. But above all that was her overall spirit. He felt better in her presence. Even over the past few weeks when he’d tried desperately not to come on too strong, just being around her made him happy.

He’d never felt quite like this about anyone. And it was driving him mad to think that maybe, just maybe, she might be interested in him too.

Tom sat up and snatched his cell phone off the nightstand. Damned if he’d just sit there and wait any longer.

“Abby?”

“Tom, hey! Everything all right?” Abby was a notorious night owl – she seemed to thrive on less than six hours of sleep a night. So he didn’t feel guilty about calling. He quickly realized, though, that he couldn’t think of a single excuse for his request.

“Uh, yeah. Just fine! I was just reading over the script, and I had a question for Caitlyn. Do you have her number?”

Abby was quiet for a moment. “Well, I do, but can I help you with anything?”

Oh. Shit. A script issue would typically go through the lead screenwriter. He backpedaled wildly.

“Oh! No, I’m sorry, I should have been more clear. It’s not a question about the script. I just … uh,” he rolled his eyes wildly. “I wanted to get her opinion on a thought I had about Aidan’s motivation.”

God. _Motivation_. He slapped himself on the head for using that clichéd term.

“Oh,” Abby said. She paused for a moment, then snorted. “Motivation. Sure.”

Tom felt his face heat. “Uh …,”

“No, I may be getting older, but I still understand ‘motivation’,” Abby laughed, the air quotes clear in her voice. “Hang on, I’ll get you her number.”

Tom snatched the hotel pad and pen off the nightstand and copied down the number Abby rattled off.

“Thanks Abby. Sorry to disturb.”

“No problem. Tom?”

“Yes?”

Abby chuckled again. “You’re a great actor. But you can’t lie for shit.”

He heard her laughter continue as she hung up the phone, and rubbed a hand over his jaw.

Well, so much for covert ops, he thought, laughing at himself now.

He quickly added Cait to his contacts, and started to dial. Then hung up before the call could go through.

 _What the hell are you going to say?_ he thought.

Tom wasn’t shy around women, never had been. But the recent awkwardness with Cait made him pause. What if she was regretting this afternoon? What if she was glad he hadn’t been able to kiss her? What if calling made things weird? Again?

The whole thing was enough to give Tom a headache and make him feel like a teenager. He decided to text her instead – less potential for awkwardness.

He typed a quick explanation for how he’d gotten her number, lest he come off as a stalker once again, and then sat there staring at the phone. What to say, what to say?

His fingers moved swiftly over the screen before his brain caught up. _Remember where we left off._

Send.

“Bloody hell,” he muttered, and slumped back against the headboard.

*****

Cait chewed on her thumbnail as she wandered around her hotel room, eyeing her cell phone as if it were a badger about to attack.

“Well, I guess he’s interested,” she mumbled, then laughed at herself. “Yep, I’m finally losing it.”

Should she reply? What should she say?

“Oh for God’s sake, Bryer.”

Cait flopped down on the bed, bringing Tom’s text back up on her screen.

Did she want to reply? That was the question.

All of a sudden, Cait was sick of herself. Damn it, she was still young. She was single. A ridiculously gorgeous man was flirting with her. For once, she was going to ignore her insecurities and try to have a little romance in her life.

Mind made up, Cait eagerly set to typing.

_I remember. So what happens next?- Cait_

_*****_

Tom sat bolt upright on the bed as he read Cait’s response.

“YES!” he shouted, punching his fist in the air. “Christ, when did I turn into a 12-year-old?”

Flushed with adrenaline, he quickly replied.

_Wow, that is a dangerous question, darling.- Tom_

His phone chimed a moment later.

_Was that slutty? I don’t mean to be slutty. I don’t think? Help!- Cait_

Tom laughed.

_Not slutty, but definitely intriguing. Why do you need help?- Tom_

*****

Cait debated how to respond. She didn’t want to tell him too much, not yet.

_I haven’t been involved with anyone in a while.- Cait_

_Mind if I ask why not? – Tom_

_Well, the whole book thing, for one. Plus I just haven’t had good luck with men. It kind of put me off dating. – Cait_

_You said a few weeks ago that men make you uncomfortable. I don’t mean to open old wounds, but did someone hurt you? – Tom_

_No, nothing like that. Just, you know. Kissed a couple of frogs. So to speak. – Cait_

_Ah. I was worried. – Tom_

_Really? – Cait_

_I just can’t imagine anyone hurting someone like you. – Tom_

Cait could actually feel her bones melting.

_You’re so sweet. – Cait_

_If you say so, milady. – Tom_

_I do. What’s wrong with being sweet? – Cait_

_Well, I’ll let you in on a secret about men. “Sweet” isn’t our favorite way to be described by beautiful women. – Tom_

_How about hottie with a body? – Cait_

_How old are you again? – Tom_

_Physically or mentally? – Cait_

_I see what you did there. – Tom_

_So what are you up to this evening? – Cait_

_About 6 foot 2, without shoes. – Tom_

_Smart ass. – Cait_

_Heh heh. Actually, I’m just sacked out in my hotel room, listening to the bloody ice machine. – Tom_

_Lovely. You’d think the star of the film would get better digs. Where are you staying, anyway? – Cait_

_Bellwood Inn, same as the rest of the cast. I actually don’t mind the noise. – Tom_

Cait froze. She had no idea they were in the same hotel. A thought pushed its way to the front and center of her mind, and wouldn’t take no for an answer.

Oh just … fuck it, she decided. Go for broke.

*****

_I hope you at least got a room on the top floor. - Cait_

Tom shook his head. He couldn’t quite get a read on Cait. She’d flirt one minute, then dodge over to small talk about his accommodations the next.

_Yes actually, fifth floor. End of the hall, too, so I have a corner room. Lucky me. - Tom_

_Not too bad then. – Cait_

_So what are you up to tonight, fair Cait? – Tom_

_Fair Cait? Are you calling me pale? And I’ve been watching “Nuclear Tornado” – Cait_

_I’d never describe you as pale. You have skin like the richest ivory satin. I’d give anything to touch it again.  – Tom_

_And what on earth is a nuclear tornado? – Tom_

Tom shook his foot up and down nervously as he waited for her answer, worried that he’d overstepped. When he hadn’t heard from her after several minutes, he texted again.

_Cait? Did I lose you? - Tom_

_No. I’m just working up my nerve. – Cait_

_For what? – Tom_

Tom’s head snapped up at the knock on his door. He frowned, and hurried over to open the door and dispatch the unwelcome interruption.

“Hi.” Cait stood outside his door, nervously biting her bottom lip and twisting the hem of her t-shirt in her hands.

They stood there – Tom stunned to suddenly see her standing in front of him, and Cait rendered immobile by the sight of Tom’s naked chest.

After a moment, Tom realized that he was staring like a moron. “Uh,” he rasped, and cleared his throat. “What did you need nerve for?”

Cait took a deep breath, and let it out in a whoosh. “This.”

She stepped forward, raising up to her toes and laying her hands on his shoulders, and pressed her lips to his.

Their lips clung together, then separated softly, their breath mingling as they stared into each other’s eyes. Tom saw the nerves in Cait’s gaze, as well as the desire. She saw the shock in his, but as she watched it rapidly gave way to the same hungry look she’d seen that afternoon.

He slid one hand into her hair, and the other arm around her waist, pulling her closer. He grinned, then closed the fraction of an inch between their lips, and felt her sigh of relief.

For a moment, Cait’s thoughts swirled in every direction, never landing on any one thing. Then she thought nothing at all. It was all sensation. Nothing in her life had ever felt as good as this.

He felt a thousand tiny shocks run across his skin as he pressed her against his body. He felt her lips part, and pulled her full bottom lip into his mouth, biting gently as he’d dreamed of doing. Then he ran his tongue lightly over the place he’d marked before slipping inside to explore.

Tom slid his hands down, tightening under her arms and pulling her to her toes, then down to her back to pull her closer. It still wasn’t close enough. Cait’s hands slid up into his hair, her nails scraping against his sensitive scalp. She rubbed her tongue softly against his, and he thought he’d go mad.

She ran her hands tentatively down to his shoulders, then his chest. He groaned into her mouth, and turned her so that he was pressing her between his body and the door jamb. She smoothed her hands across his skin as though she couldn’t get enough of the feel of him. Then she threw her arms around his neck and lost herself completely in the feel of his mouth on hers.

He felt as though he was burning alive, and he didn’t care. All he cared about was her mouth, her hands, her skin. He slid one hand under the hem of her shirt and up her back, craving the feel of her soft skin like a drug. Before all sanity was lost, he wrenched his mouth from hers.

“Cait, come inside.”

Cait stared, mouth swollen, eyes unfocused. “What?”

“I want you so badly,” he whispered against her lips. “But not in the hallway. Please, come inside with me.”

Cait nodded dazedly and watched his eyes go almost black with lust. Then her brain finally engaged.

“Oh God! Wait, stop.” She braced her hands against his chest, her eyes widening with panic. Tom eased his grip on her, but didn’t let her go.

“What is it? What’s wrong?”

“Tom, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to let this go so far,” Cait said. “I … I can’t …”

Tom dropped his forehead to hers. “Cait, it’s okay. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to get so carried away. You’re just so … amazing, and gorgeous, and I just got so turned on. I wasn’t thinking.”

Cait could still feel exactly how turned on he was, and felt her face heat. “No, I’m the one who came up here and threw myself at you. I just … I didn’t want to wait anymore.”

Tom pulled back to meet her eyes. “Don’t apologize. I couldn’t sleep for wanting you. Of course, now that I’ve had a taste, I’m not thinking sleep will come any easier,” he whispered, stroking one hand down her cheek.

Cait sighed. “Damn my inner Baptist.”

Tom laughed. “What does that mean?”

“It means that if I didn’t have this darn good-girl complex, I could just follow you in there and we’d both sleep good tonight.”

Tom let his head fall back. “Don’t say things like that to me right now, darling. I’m in a fragile state.”

She laughed and eased out of his arms. “Sorry.”

“No you’re not.” But he chuckled as he ran a hand through his hair. “Well. I am a gentleman, after all. And a true gentlemen would take a good girl such as yourself out on a proper date.”

Cait grinned shyly. “I’d like that.”

“Tomorrow after filming is done?”

She stepped away, walking backwards down the hall. “It’s a date.”

She turned and headed for the elevators, but stopped when he called her name.

“I can’t get you out of my head, Cait. I think it might take a while before I ever do.”


	10. The Long Road - Chapter Ten

CHAPTER TEN

Cait crept quietly through the studio, afraid that she might accidentally make noise and disturb filming.

She tiptoed up next to Abby, who greeted her with a Cheshire-cat grin, but didn’t speak until the director yelled “CUT!”

“So,” Abby said immediately, turning to Cait. “Sleep good last night?”

Cait could feel her face flush, though she couldn’t help but laugh. “Okay, what do you know?”

“Oh girl, let’s talk!” Abby looped her arm around Cait’s shoulder and led her off to a quiet corner.

“I knew when that man called me last night with THE most ridiculous excuse to get your phone number I’ve ever heard, that something was up. And now you are just as red as a tomato!” Abby laughed heartily. “I need details! I’ve been married too long, I’m living vicariously.”

Cait just laughed helplessly. “Lord, I am just crazy about you, Miss Abby.”

Abby swatted Cait lightly on the arm. “Details! Before they roll camera again!”

“There’s nothing to tell! He texted me, I texted back, we texted for a while. I realized he was staying here, and went up to see him for a few minutes.”

“A few minutes?” Abby frowned. “I never pegged him for the minute-man type.”

Cait was puzzled for a moment, then snorted. “Nothing happened.” She flushed again. “Well, nothing like that.”

“AHA!” Abby pounced.

“It was just a kiss, Abby!”

Abby sighed. “Oh my. I’d be willing to bet a kiss from Tom Hiddleston isn’t ‘just’ anything.”

The older woman watched as Cait’s eyes went soft and dreamy. “Yeah,” Cait breathed, lost in the memory.

Abby’s laughter was abruptly cut off by calls for quiet from the set. She quieted, but patted Cait on the back and gave her a thumbs up.

Cait just shook her head and turned her attention to the set. Today Tom and Rebecca would be filming a pivotal love scene between Aidan and Melissa. There was no way Cait would have missed it.

Though she couldn’t help but feel awkward about watching the guy she’d made out with the night before pretending to have sex with someone else.

So he’s going to spend the next several hours getting hot and heavy with Rebecca, before he takes me to dinner, Cait thought.

Yikes.

Ye olde insecurity reared its ugly head. What if he was turned on by Rebecca? What if he decided he’d rather be with her? She was younger and prettier, and she was an actress. Didn’t all actors want to date pretty young actresses?

Cait chewed on her bottom lip as the scene progressed toward the big moment. Rebecca and Tom did a magnificent job conveying heat as they argued – yelling and screaming at each other with total abandon. Then Tom grabbed Rebecca and slammed his mouth against hers. She met him with equal force, the pair grabbing on to each other with such fervent desire –

“CUT!”

Cait jolted, and glanced at the director. He was shaking his head and stepping forward to confer with Tom and Rebecca, who both wore serious expressions, all traces of heat gone.

Abby must have seen the confused look on Cait’s face. “You’re in for an education in movie love scenes today,” she laughed.

It took three more takes before the director was happy with the kiss. Then the scene progressed to the point where Tom backed Rebecca into a wall, wrapped her legs around his waist and pretended to take her roughly. But the director just couldn’t quite get the scene set the way he wanted it. Take after take, Tom slammed Rebecca against wall and thrust himself between her legs. And take after take, the director called “CUT!” and they actors would reset, like nothing had happened.

It should have been driving Cait crazy with jealousy. Instead, she was having an increasingly tough time holding back giggles.

After several hours, they’d finally gotten the scene set and shot to the director’s satisfaction. Tom and Rebecca dragged themselves away from the set, clearly exhausted.

Tom spotted Cait sitting in the back of the room, and she watched as his eyes lit up.

“Oh my,” said Abby. She grinned at Cait and stood to leave. “Have fun.”

Cait could barely take her eyes off Tom as he turned to Rebecca and pointed at Cait. The pair walked over.

“Hi!” Rebecca cried, stepping forward to grab Cait in an enthusiastic hug. “I haven’t seen you in a while.”

Cait returned the young woman’s hug warmly – she really liked the young actress. Rebecca seemed unjaded by the Hollywood life, and Cait had long since declared that absolutely no one else could have played Melissa.

The women chatted for a moment as Tom looked on impatiently. Rebecca was amused by her costar’s attitude. It had been clear to her for weeks now that he was infatuated with Cait, and Rebecca had already appointed herself into a little sister role in his life. As such, she felt duty-bound to torture him and was in no rush to leave him alone with Cait.

“So what do you think of filming so far?” Rebecca asked Cait.

“Oh God, it’s fantastic!” Cait cried. “I just don’t think I ever imagined it going this well. Although I don’t envy you having to shoot that love scene just then.”

Rebecca laughed. “Yeah, they look great in the movies, but …”

“You see it being made, and it’s like the unsexiest thing ever!” Cait finished.

Tom cleared his throat. “Rebecca, didn’t you say you wanted to get out of costume right away?”

“Yes, but I also wanted to talk to Cait.”

Tom frowned at her, but she just smiled. Rebecca saw that Cait was equally distracted by Tom, though, and decided she’d tormented her costar enough for today.

“Well, I’ll see you guys later,” she said, waiting until she’d gotten out of earshot to start laughing.

Cait turned back to Tom, who was staring at her with a smile. She felt her own lips turn up in a goofy grin.

“Hi,” she said softly.

“Hi.” He stepped closer, tilting his head down to keep eye contact with her. “How did you sleep?”

“Not a damn bit. You?”

He laughed. “Nope. I was haunted by dreams of a golden-haired seductress.”

Cait snorted lightly. “Where I’m from, we call that ‘horseshit’.”

Tom threw back his head and laughed again. He put a hand on the small of her back to lead her out of the studio.

“I just need to stop at my trailer for a shower and change. Do you mind waiting?”

“No, it’s fine.” As they entered his set trailer, she glanced around curiously. “Mind if I snoop?”

“Make yourself at home, darling.”

Cait poked around while Tom headed off to the small bathroom. The trailer wasn’t large, but it was certainly comfortable considering that Tom didn’t spend a great deal of time in it. There were two armchairs facing each other across a small glass coffee table. A flatscreen TV was mounted on the wall next to them.

Moving further back, she moved past the bathroom and heard the shower running. Don’t picture him naked, she warned herself.

Too late.

Cait wandered over to the small bed tucked into the back of the trailer. “That doesn’t look comfortable,” she muttered. She plopped down to test, and found it surprisingly cushy.

When Tom stepped out of the bathroom 10 minutes later, fully dressed with damp hair, he discovered Cait still sacked out on the bed. He thought for a moment she was sleeping until she opened her eyes and smiled at him.

“This thing is so damn comfortable. I can’t get up.”

Tom sat down on the edge of the bed. With any other woman, he’d have taken it as an invitation. But he already recognized that Cait wasn’t quite ready to go there with him.

“Don’t you want dinner?”

She groaned and buried her face in the bed. “Yes. Ugh. I’m getting up.”

She didn’t get up. He poked her lightly in the side. She slapped at his hand and stayed put.

“Cait. Get up, darling.”

“Mmmffph.”

“Come on, I’m famished.”

Still no movement. With an exaggerated sigh, Tom stood and grabbed Cait around the waist, dragging her off the bed as she squealed with surprise. He hoisted her up and tossed her over his shoulder, carting her out of the trailer.

“Tom! For God’s sake, put me down! They’ll sue me if you kill yourself carrying me around,” she yelled.

“Nonsense, you’re not heavy. Besides, I like carrying women off to my lair. Makes me feel manly,” he said, heading for his nearby rental car.

“Dude!” She squealed again as he set her down and shoved back the hair that had curtained over her face.

“There. I’ve captured you, carried you off. Now what?” He gave her a smacking kiss on the lips, and reached around to open her door. “In you go, I suppose I’d better feed you.”

“Jeez,” she joked. “What kind of kiss is that for a Neanderthal?”

She went to slide into the car, and found herself abruptly hauled back out and pinned between the door and 6 feet 2 inches of gorgeous British male. Tom swooped in and fused his lips to hers, tongue sweeping past her lips to claim every inch of her mouth.  He tilted his head to the side, and put one hand to the back of her head to tilt it back and allow him better access. Cait grabbed his head and pressed herself eagerly against him. Tom groaned into her mouth, then grabbed her hands and held them in his own as he pulled away from her.

“That better?” he panted, staring into her eyes.

Cait stumbled slightly as he pulled away from her. “Uh … yeah.”

“Yeah,” he said unsteadily. “Hop in.”

She settled herself in the passenger seat and shook her head to clear the daze as he got in. He stared at the wheel for a second, then grinned at her.

“You realize that if we ever get any further than kissing, we might kill each other,” he said.

“If?” she said before she could think.

Tom’s eyes darkened, and he laid one hand on her cheek. “I didn’t want to assume.”

Cait smiled. “Thank you for that. I have to be honest with you, in some ways I’m still not ready to go there, and in some ways I’m more than ready.”

Tom stroked her cheek again, then turned back to start the car. “Would you be willing to talk about it?”

She looked at him, taking in the beauty, and the kindness in his eyes. “I think I would, with you.”

Tom smiled. “Then let’s go to dinner.”

 


	11. The Long Road - Chapter Eleven

CHAPTER ELEVEN

“You know, I really don’t know that much about you.”

Cait looked up from her menu to see Tom staring at her thoughtfully.

“What do you want to know?”

“Well, I feel like we’ve done things a bit out of order,” he said, leaning back in his chair. “I feel like I know you, but I don’t know much about you.”

Cait shrugged and set the menu aside. “I’m not that interesting, really.”

“Oh, you are to me.” He grinned as the waitress arrived.

Cait glanced around the restaurant while Tom gave his order. It was fantastic – just the kind of place she loved. Comfortable and welcoming, with simple Italian fare and no pretension.

“You must know me pretty well already to know I’d prefer a place like this to some snooty L.A. hotspot,” Cait noted after the waitress left to place their orders.

Tom chuckled. “I asked around for recommendations. I just wanted something quiet with good food. I figured you would too.”

He took a sip of his wine, then gestured toward her with the glass. “Now, you’re avoiding the subject. Tell me about you.”

“Uh,” Cait said, stumped. “It might be easier if you ask me questions. I’m not very good at talking about myself.”

“All right. Well, what is your family like?”

“Ah, good one. Well, I have one older brother – he’s married and has two children, a boy and a girl. I love them, but they’re 4 and 6, so they’re evil. My parents still live in the house I grew up in, thank God. I think it would kill me if they ever moved. Dad just retired, so his new full-time job is driving Mom crazy. Mom stayed home to raise us, but a few years ago she opened a little shop in my hometown that’s done really well. I think she did it because she knew Dad would retire soon and drive her crazy. And then there’s my best friend in the world, Monica. She’s … well, there’s just no describing Monica. It’s sort of like a tornado – you have to experience it for yourself.”

Tom laughed. “Would she appreciate you comparing her to a destructive storm?”

Cait snorted. “Who do you think gave me that analogy?”

Cait took out her phone to show off pictures of her family and Monica. “Oh, and I had a cat, but he’s decided he’d rather be Mom’s cat.” She sighed a bit at that.

“You miss him?” Tom said.

“Yes, but it makes more sense for him to stay with her,” Cait said. “I’m traveling so much, it’s not fair to him to have to go back and forth all the time. Plus, she’s crazy about him. She takes him to the shop to entertain customers.”

She sat back, tucking her phone into her pocket and narrowing her eyes at Tom. “Do you like animals?”

“Yes, I love animals,” he said. “I also travel far too much to have any pets, but I wouldn’t mind having some cats and dogs one day.”

“Ah, good,” she said. “Ultimate test of a good man – he has to like animals.” She grinned. “I’m an animal nut. One day when I can build a big house and have some land, I’m going to adopt a ton of them. All kinds. Cats and dogs and goats and hedgehogs –”

Tom’s laughter cut her off.

“What?” she said.

“You’re so cute,” he said. “Like a little girl planning a zoo.”

Cait frowned. “Gee, thanks.”

“No, it’s adorable! You’re fascinating. I have to assume that the success of your book has left you rather financially well-off, and you want to spend your time and money taking care of animals. That’s wonderful,” he said, reaching over to touch her hand.

Cait reddened, but didn’t pull away. “Well, there are just so many in the world that need homes,” she said softly. “So many who don’t get to live, or who are starving or abused. I’d help them all if I could.”

He watched as she traced her free hand across the table, clearly upset by her thoughts.

“Darling, one thing I don’t need to be told about you.” He waited until she looked up. “You have an enormous heart, and I know you’ll do as much as you can to help as many as you can.”

She blew out a breath and sipped her wine. “Yeah, I will. It’s just a hot-button topic for me. I can’t even read a book or watch a movie if I know an animal gets hurt in it.” She thought for a second, then frowned. “Except ‘Cujo’. That’s the only time I ever rooted against a dog.”

“Oh Jesus,” Tom said. “Don’t get me started on Stephen King.”

“No problem. He’s an evil genius, and he scares me. Okay, next question.”

Tom pondered for a moment. “Have you always been a writer?”

Cait laughed. “Oh yeah, but I’m guessing you mean have I always made a living at being a writer? That answer is no.”

“So what did you do before this?”

“I worked at a series of mind-numbing, soul-sucking jobs as a graphic designer,” Cait said. “I finally got to the point where I knew that I’d never be satisfied working for someone else, and decided to try to make a go out of all my years of writing in secret. You’d be surprised at how very little creativity a graphic designer gets to use on a daily basis. Writing was my creative outlet for years.”

Tom nodded and opened his mouth to ask another question, but was interrupted by the arrival of their food.

“So I have questions for you, too, Mr. Famous,” Cait said as they tucked into their meals.

“I’m an open book, darling,” Tom said. “Ask away.”

“How are you still single?”

Tom shrugged, chewing his mouthful of pasta. “Just never found anyone to settle down with.”

Cait twirled spaghetti onto her fork, but kept her eyes on his. “Come on, Tom. I’m not a reporter.”

He sighed and set his fork down. “Honestly, I made a decision years ago that I was going to work as hard as possible to make a successful career for myself. And some things got sacrificed along the way. It’s not that I don’t want a relationship. I just haven’t made it a priority.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that,” Cait said. “Why do you seem ashamed of it?”

“Good lord, you’re perceptive,” he said with a light laugh. “Well, I’m not sure this is a first-date topic.”

Cait smiled. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“No no, it’s not that. I’m just afraid of how it might come across.”

“Is it pervy?”

Tom made a face at her. “Funny girl. No, the problem is that I really do want a relationship. I want someone to come home to. But having made my career my life in a way, it’s not fair to ask someone to sit around and wait for me to finish all my traveling and filming and promoting so that I can come home and spend what little time I have left with her.”

He thought for a moment as he chewed. “I guess I want it all, really. But I’m realistic enough to know I can’t have it.”

Cait pondered his answer while they ate. “You know, Tom, it’s really none of my business. But you may not be giving the women of the world enough credit. I’m sure there’s one out there who can handle you and your crazy schedule.”

Tom opened his mouth to reply, but Cait decided the mood had gotten too deep and jumped in.

“So, what about your family?” She smiled encouragingly and twirled more spaghetti.

They kept up the back and forth of asking and answering questions through the rest of their meals and dessert. Both felt relaxed and happy with the other’s company.

The shriek from the table to their left jolted them – and everyone else in the restaurant – and they all turned to stare at the young blonde and her companion with the crimson complexion.

“You SON of a BITCH!”

The young woman snatched up her glass of ice water and threw it into the man’s face.

“Ouch,” Cait muttered. “Nice shot.”

“Bit clichéd, I thought,” Tom whispered back.

“Linda, calm down,” the girl’s date hissed, eyes darting to the fascinated gazes of the surrounding diners.

“I don’t care who hears!” Linda yelled. She turned to Cait and Tom and pointed an accusing finger at her companion.

“This bastard just told me that he’s been sleeping with his boss for the past six months,” she spat. “Do YOU think I should calm down?”

Cait turned wide eyes to Tom, then back to Linda. “Hell no. Get ‘em, girl.”

Tom tried to cover his laughter with his wineglass as Linda lifted her chin in the air and nodded at Cait.

“Thank you.” And with that, she proceeded to rain down all manner of vitriol on the bastard across the table, beginning with his questionable hygiene and ending with his inability to satisfy her in bed. Cait, Tom and all the rest of the diners in the restaurant hung on her every word as the bastard scrambled desperately to pay the bill and run.

“And oh, by the way, that promotion you’ve been sleeping with Claire to get? I GOT IT THIS AFTERNOON, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!” Linda screamed as he dashed out the door.

There was an awkward silence as Linda sat back down and drained her wineglass.

Then Cait glanced at Tom, and the two began to applaud. The other diners and restaurant staff swiftly followed suit. Linda blew her bangs out of her red face, then snorted.

“Sorry about that. Guess your meals came with a show.”

Cait stood and walked over to pat the young woman on the shoulder. “You okay?”

Linda glanced up, then smiled. “More pissed than anything. I’m starting to feel pretty stupid, too.”

“Oh no, honey, that was the best thing I’ve seen in months!” Cait laughed. “Good for you calling him out.”

“Yes, he deserved far worse,” Tom chimed in. He’d paid their check and stood next to Cait. “Are you okay getting home? Do you need a ride?”

“Nah, I’m good,” Linda said. “I think I just need to call some girlfriends and go get drunk.”

“There you go,” Cait said, signaling the waitress over. She handed over some cash and told the server, “Her first drink’s on me.”

Linda laughed. “Thanks.”

Cait and Tom left the restaurant and headed back to his car. They sat for a moment, then turned, looked at each other, and cracked up.

“Oh Jesus,” she wheezed. “We’ll never find any entertainment better than that!”

*****

The mellow mood continued through the drive back to the hotel. They chatted comfortably, but both felt an underlying awareness that the end of their evening was at hand.

Tom took Cait’s hand as he walked her back to her room. After they stood awkwardly in front of her door for a minute, Cait laughed.

“We look like two teenagers after the junior-high dance,” she said.

Tom grinned. “Well, I’m not going to be so bold as to invite myself in, or to invite you to my room. I like you a great deal, Cait. I’m certainly attracted to you, but I want you to be comfortable with this. I’d never push you into anything.”

Cait smiled, and wrapped her arms around Tom’s torso, resting her head on his chest. He held her close, breathing in the scent of her hair. They stayed like that for several minutes, just quietly holding each other.

“I’m becoming very attached to you, Cait,” he whispered.

“I’m glad,” Cait whispered back. “I want to explain to you about my hesitations on getting physical, but …”

“No need to explain. It hasn’t been the right time yet,” Tom said, looking down and tilting her chin up to meet his eyes. “If and when you feel comfortable telling me is up to you, darling. I can be patient.”

He leaned down and softly brushed his lips against hers. “I know you’re worth the wait.”

Cait shivered at his words and let him pull her closer, their lips meeting again and again in slow, lazy kisses that tasted of longing and suppressed passion. Tom finally pulled back, smoothed one hand over Cait’s curls and smiled.

“Good night, darling.”

 

*****

Two hours later, Cait still felt like she was floating. Oh, that man is better than any drug on the market, she thought happily.

She heard her phone signal a new text message and hurried to check it. She doubted Tom would contact her again tonight, but … hey. A girl could hope.

She giggled stupidly when she saw his name on the screen.

_I hope I’m not waking you, but apparently the hotel has booked a squadron of high-school cheerleaders onto my floor. Some sort of cheer competition in town. They’re very rowdy – I can’t get any sleep at all, and the hotel has no other vacancies. I’m sorry to ask, but can I sleep on your couch? – Tom_

Cait sat on the bed and laughed until she cried at the image of poor Tom trying to sleep with dozens of teenage cheerleaders running through the halls.

_Oh my, you poor baby. Surrounded by cheerleaders! – Cait_

_Well, while my teenage self might have relished the opportunity, 32-year-old me just wants to sleep without being woken every five minutes by someone yelling WE’VE GOT SPIRIT YES WE DO. – Tom_

_Answer one question, and you can sleep on my couch. – Cait_

_Ask. – Tom_

_WE’VE GOT SPIRIT, HOW ABOUT YOU? – Cait_

_You are absolutely going to hell for that. – Tom_

_Correct. Come on down. – Cait_

_Be there in 10. – Tom_

Cait chuckled, then stood abruptly.

“Oh crap. I’m spending the night in the same room as Tom Hiddleston.

What the fuck was I thinking?!”


	12. The Long Road - Chapter Twelve

CHAPTER TWELVE

Cait dashed madly around the suite, scooping up clothes and throwing them into drawers like she should have done all along rather than just living like the slob she was. She paused briefly to call down to the front desk for spare sheets for the couch. Because she wasn’t a moron, it had occurred to her that Tom could simply share her bed. But the thought caused her brain to spontaneously combust, so she decided to set that idea on the back burner.

For now.

Ten minutes later, she’d managed to tidy to a reasonable degree and make herself semi-presentable. She cursed the need to put a bra back on, but didn’t dare go commando.

She sat on the bed, leg jogging nervously up and down, and waited.

Almost right on time, there was a knock at the door, and she sprang up to answer. Instead of Tom, though, she found the young woman from housekeeping with the sheets.

Fifteen minutes later, she was starting to wonder. Had he changed his mind? Fallen asleep?

She picked up her phone to send a quick text.

_You okay? – Cait_

_This is so humiliating. – Tom_

_What? – Cait_

_I’m in a closet. – Tom_

_I’m … really not sure what to say to that. – Cait_

_I left my room, and there were about a dozen teenage girls in the hallway, and some of them recognized me. I swear, they’re like mad dogs! They’re outside the door – I had to barricade myself in. – Tom_

Cait sat right down on the floor and screamed with laughter as she dialed Tom’s number.

“Help.”

Cait just held onto the phone and laughed, tears streaming down her face. “You … you … I can’t …”

“Cait, for God’s sake.”

“No, I can’t!” She shrieked.

“Would you please do something?”

Cait hung up the phone and dragged herself up and out of the room, laughing all the way down the hall to the elevator.

*****

“LOKI! WE LOVE YOU!”

This outburst from two of the girls clustered outside a door on the fifth floor was enough to both clue Cait into Tom’s location and send her off into fresh hysterics. She wiped the tears of laughter from her eyes as she made her way down the hall, pondering the makeup of the group as she went.

Most of the girls were chattering excitedly to each other, one occasionally knocking on the door and expressing her adulation. One girl, though, stood leaning against the opposite wall, clearly bored. Cait headed in her direction.

“Hey. What room are the chaperones in?” Cait said.

The girl just sighed. “I tried that. They said something about letting us have fun and just staying out of trouble. I think they’re trashed – they brought wine.”

Cait blew out a breath. “Lovely.” She considered the girl. “Why are you not in on this?”

“I’m just here because my mom forced me into cheerleading because she was a cheerleader. I can’t get back into my room until my dumbass roommate chills out and gives me the keycard.” She glared at the dumbass in question, a well-endowed blonde who was at the front and center of the group. “Why I had to get paired up with her …”

“Okay. Well, do me a favor and go tell the drunk chaperones that hotel security is about to call the cops on your buddies.”

The girl looked at Cait with interest. “Really?”

Cait laughed. “Don’t sound so hopeful. I’m just looking to get a man out of a closet.”

The girl trotted off down the hall as Cait waded into the group in front of her.

“Okay ladies, that’s enough!” She made her voice and expression as menacing as possible considering she was wearing a pink t-shirt and pants with kitties on them. “I’m the director of hotel security, and you’re all causing a serious disturbance. Return to your rooms or I’ll be forced to contact law enforcement.”

The blonde dumbass sneered at her. “You sure don’t look like security.”

Cait turned her steely gaze on the girl, and stared until Blondie dropped her gaze. “You have five seconds to return to your rooms,” Cait said quietly.

She heard someone running down the hall and turned to see a woman a few years older than her dash up. “What is going on here?” she demanded, clearly half-awake. Cait heard a muffled “oh shit” from one of the teens.

“Ma’am, are you responsible for these girls?” Cait demanded.

“I’m their coach.” The woman turned a severe glare on the girls. “What the hell is going on?”

“There’s an actor staying on this floor, and they were a little too excited to see him,” Cait said diplomatically. She could tell that the girls knew they were in deep shit.

“Where is he?” said the coach.

Cait indicated the closet door behind her, which started to open. Seeing the excited expressions on the girls’ faces, Cait quickly slammed it shut again, ignoring the muffled “ow!” from inside.

“You kids cornered a man in a closet?” the coach thundered. This was clearly no drunken chaperone willing to let kids be kids. She pointed down the hall. “All of you, move! Now! You will not BELIEVE the trouble you’re all in over this!”

The girls shuffled down the hall and into their respective rooms. Cait opened the closet door to let Tom out.

“Sir, I am so sorry,” the coach said.

“It’s no problem, I’m fine. Just … they got a little aggressive,” he said with a light laugh, indicating a huge rip down the back of his t-shirt.

“Oh Jesus,” said the coach. “I promise you, I’ll make sure you’re reimbursed for the cost of the shirt.”

“Oh don’t worry about it, please,” Tom said, taking the woman’s hand. “Thank you for handling them. May I ask – how long will you all be staying here?” he continued delicately.

She laughed. “Competition is tomorrow, and we’ll be leaving the next day. But I promise you, you won’t hear another peep out of them.” She looked grimly down the hall and jerked her finger up to point at the girl who’d dared stick her head out. The head jerked back into the room. “Not a single peep.”

The woman trudged down the hall and threw open a door, slamming it at her back. They could hear her shouting from there.

Tom turned back to Cait to find her leaning weakly against the wall, trying to suppress her giggles.

“Bastard,” he said, setting her off again.

“Come on,” she said, setting off toward the elevators. “I think she’ll be yelling for a while.”

*****

“Are you sure you don’t mind?” Tom said as Cait let him into her room. “Once their coach finishes disciplining them, I can probably get some sleep in my room.”

“That’s up to you,” Cait said, flopping onto the couch, still weak from all the laughter. “But they know what room you’re in, and teenage girls in packs aren’t exactly known for their sense.” She gestured towards his shirt to illustrate her point.

Tom twisted around to get a look at the damage. “I need to go grab another one.”

Cait snorted and headed into her bedroom. “No you don’t, heartthrob. I don’t feel like breaking up any more kiddie riots tonight.” She came back out with a t-shirt that had clearly seen better days. “It’s not pretty, but it’s clean and it should fit you.”

Tom dragged the ruined shirt over his head, missing Cait’s suddenly wide-eyed stare.

“Jesus,” she muttered.

“What?” Tom turned toward her, frowning down at the front of his new shirt, which proclaimed him to be a “crazy cat lady.”

“Nothing,” Cait said quickly.

“No, what is it?” He grinned at her rapidly reddening face.

“Just. WARN me before you do that!” she burst out, sitting back down on the couch.

“Do what?”

“Take off your shirt. It’s distracting.”

Tom raised an eyebrow and sat down on the other end of the couch. “Really?”

Cait frowned, then started laughing again. “Oh yeah, that is a sexy shirt on you.”

He held the shirt away from his chest to look at the cartoon cats dancing across it. “You think? I really look better in puppies.”

He didn’t mind her laughing at him. Anything that made her laugh was okay with him – she was even more beautiful when she laughed.

“It’s a sleep shirt,” she explained. “It’s the only thing I had that might fit you.”

“You sleep in this?” he said, casually running his hand along the fabric. He couldn’t say why, but wearing something that she wore to bed was a bit of a turn-on.

Cait simply hummed softly in reply. It was a sleep shirt now, but it had been a regular t-shirt for her before she’d reached her weight loss goal. That was why it was large enough to fit Tom.

“I should let you get to sleep,” Cait said. “You must be exhausted.”

She stood and started shaking out sheets, then took a good look at the couch.

“Well, there’s no way you’re going to fit on this,” she said.

Tom waved a hand dismissively. “I’ll make do. Really. I appreciate you letting me crash.”

Cait was still pondering the situation. “Okay, here’s what we’re going to do. You’ll just sleep in my bed.”

Tom sat up abruptly. “What?”

“Sure, it’s no problem,” Cait said cheerfully. “Go on in and get comfy. I’m going to just run into the bathroom and brush my teeth.”

Tom stared at her. Of all the ways he’d imagined taking her to bed, this wasn’t one of them. He crept into the bedroom and stared at the bathroom door as he sat on the edge of the bed. A minute later it opened, and Cait popped back out.

“All yours!” And with that she disappeared back into the sitting area.

Tom stayed where he was, more confused than he’d been in a long time. He heard the rustling of sheets and walked back into the sitting room to see Cait stretched out on a makeshift bed on the couch.

“Oh good lord,” he muttered, at once feeling ridiculous for his assumptions, and annoyed at Cait.

“Cait. I am not putting you out of your bed. Get back in there and go to sleep,” he said sternly.

Cait stared at him, confused. “I thought we already decided this.”

“I didn’t realize this is what you meant,” he said. “For God’s sake, woman. I’m fine sleeping on the couch! Go to bed.”

“What did you think I meant?”

Tom shut his eyes briefly. “Never mind that. Come on, up you go.”

Cait stayed stubbornly put. “Tom, really, this couch is barely long enough for me! I don’t mind.”

“Cait …” he growled, clearly getting annoyed.

“But Tom –”

Seeing that she had no intention of budging, Tom sighed. “You really bring out a bad side of me.”

With that, he scooped her up off the couch and carried her into the bedroom. He laid her on the bed, covered her up, kissed her forehead and said “Good night, Cait.”

Cait gawked at him as he turned to leave. “No, Tom!” She hopped back out of the bed. “I don’t mind –”

Her words cut off as she rammed headfirst into his chest. “Cait, get back in bed! You are not sleeping on the couch in your own room!”

She glared up at him stubbornly, not even moving back an inch. “This is my room, I’ll sleep where I want.”

Tom met her glare with one of his own, but couldn’t hold it for long. Lord, she is cute, he thought, feeling his lips twitch.

Her hair curled madly around that little face, floating down to rest on the shoulders of her pink t-shirt, the front of which featured a basket of kittens. Similar felines festooned the matching pants.

He felt himself grinning at her, turning her scowl into a confused frown.

“What?” she demanded.

Unable to help himself any longer, Tom leaned down and captured her lips with his.

Cait blinked in surprise, then looped her arms around his neck and returned the kiss. Tom pressed her against him, tasting the minty flavor of her toothpaste along with the underlying flavor he now associated with Cait. It was a flavor he’d quickly become addicted to.

All rational though fled Cait’s mind, leaving her clinging to Tom and pouring the sudden flood of passion raging through her body into the kiss. He responded eagerly, running his hands up under the back of her t-shirt to grip her waist. She shuddered at the warmth of his hands on her skin – all she wanted was more.

He was more than happy to oblige.

He stepped forward, causing her to take a step back until her legs were against the bed. She sat reflexively, and stared up at him. He leaned down to capture her lips again, easing her back down onto the bed and stretching himself out alongside her.

Cait felt his hand ease around from her back, and felt his fingers skimming along her stomach. Then she felt them stop abruptly. She tensed as Tom pulled back from her and ran his fingers along her stomach again.

“Cait? Are these scars?” he said, alarm filling his voice.

Cait sait up immediately and yanked her shirt back down. Her face was on fire, and she couldn’t bring herself to look at him.

“No,” she said quietly. “They’re stretch marks.”

Tom sat up too. “Like from pregnancy?”

Cait laughed quietly at the shock in his voice. “No Tom, I’ve never been pregnant. But I was once quite a bit heavier than I am now. It takes a toll on the body.”

Tom felt relief coursing through him – his imagination had leapt to all kinds of horrifying scenarios that could have caused such scarring. Then he saw the way Cait was holding herself.

He leaned forward, pushing her hair aside and taking in the shame on her face.

“Cait? What’s the matter?”

She heaved a sigh and stood up beside the bed. As he watched, she slowly lifted the hem of her shirt to show him her stomach.

He saw dozens of white marks across her skin, all across her midsection. The skin itself was relatively normal, but he could see two horizontal marks across her stomach that were definitely scars.

He reached out to trace one. “What is this?”

She refused to meet his eyes. “Tummy tuck. I’m not a fan of plastic surgery, but it was necessary.”

Her voice sounded so flat. He looked at her face, taking in the flush on her cheeks that he realized was embarrassment. She had pulled into herself, as if her emotions couldn’t withstand whatever was about to happen next.

She thinks I’m going to reject her because of this, he realized.

“This is what you meant when you said you haven’t had good luck with men,” he realized. “Someone rejected you? Over this?”

“Several someones, actually,” she said, her voice still flat. She let her shirt fall and sat down on the floor. She still wouldn’t look at him. “Once I lost all the weight and dealt with all the leftover physical issues from that, I was so excited. Everyone I knew was so happy for me, so supportive. And guys were actually asking me out.”

The last part was said in a tone of amazement, as though she still couldn’t believe anyone would want her. Tom felt the pain in her eyes like a physical ache.

“So when it came up that I’d lost so much weight, the guys were just … gone. The first time it happened, I didn’t think much of it. The second time, I figured maybe it was just a coincidence. But the third time it happened, the guy flat out told me that he wasn’t interested in dating someone who was ‘held together by Spanx.’ I just gave it up after that.”

“What kind of fucking bastard says that to someone?” Tom said, outrage in his tone. Cait smiled without humor.

Tom stood and grabbed Cait’s hands, pulling her to her feet. Startled, she finally met his eyes.

“Cait, I don’t give a damn what you used to weigh. I don’t give a damn what you weigh now. You’re beautiful. Yes, because of the way you look, but mostly because of the way you ARE. You’re the smartest, funniest and most talented woman I’ve ever met. You shine, Cait. This is the first time I haven’t seen the light shining out of you, and it’s killing me. I’d gladly tear those bastards from limb to limb for making you think for one second that you’re anything less than amazing.”

Cait could feel the tears threatening to spill over, but couldn’t help herself. “Tom, I know you mean that, but you haven’t seen how I look …”

Tom huffed impatiently, then snatched his t-shirt off. “Okay,” he said, seeing her eyes widen. “This body that you say is distracting? It takes me hours of workouts every week to maintain. All through school I was the skinniest kid in class. The others called me horrible names. I drank stupid protein shakes and took supplements to try to bulk up. If I were to stop the workouts tomorrow, I’d be a 90-pound weakling by next month. Do you judge me for that?”

Cait stared at his chest. “It’s not the same, Tom. I have more stretch marks. More scars from having to have excess skin removed. I don’t have perky anything.”

“I don’t care,” he said firmly, grasping her upper arms and shaking her once. She turned her startled eyes to his. “I want you. I care about you. Nothing is going to change that, Cait.”

She lifted her hands and placed them lightly on his chest, still staring into his eyes as though to see the truth in them.

Then she sighed and rested her forehead on his chest. “You’re killing me, Tom.”

“Is that a good thing?”

She laughed. “It’s a very good thing.”

She stretched up and pressed her lips to his again, this time seeking comfort instead of passion. He cradled her head in one hand and gently kissed her back.

“We should go to sleep,” he whispered. “It’s been an eventful evening.”

He lifted her chin to meet her gaze. “But I guarantee you, we WILL be picking back up where we left off in the very near future.”

She shuddered lightly, but smiled. “Can we share the bed tonight? Since we’re just going to sleep.”

He picked her up and placed her gently on the bed, then crawled in and looped one arm over her waist. He pulled her back against him and pressed a kiss to her hair.

“Good night, darling.”

Cait smiled sleepily, exhausted from the emotional purge. “Good night.”

 


	13. The Long Road - Chapter Thirteen

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Tom jolted awake at the shrill of his cell phone on the nightstand. He looked down at Cait curled against his chest – the ringing hadn’t even phased her. Marveling a bit at her ability to sleep, he groped groggily behind him and grabbed the phone, being careful not to disturb her.

“Hello?” he mumbled, burying his face in Cait’s hair. She smells like coconuts, he thought, nearly drifting back asleep in contentment.

“Uh, who is this?” he heard a woman’s voice say through the phone, astonishment evident in every word.

“You called me, love,” he sighed.

He heard a rustling, as though the person on the other end of the line had pulled the phone away to look at it. “No, I didn’t,” the woman said. She whooped loudly, causing Tom to yank the phone away from his ear. “Holy shit! Is this Tom?”

Tom turned the phone in his hand to look at the screen, more alert now. He winced when he saw the name MONICA displayed on the phone that he abruptly realized was not his.

“Bollocks,” he muttered. Slightly afraid of the excited screeching he could hear still coming from the phone, he set it gingerly back against his ear.

“Um. Sorry about that,” he said. “I picked up the wrong phone. Let me just get Cait …”

“Oh, yes please!” Monica yelped, laughing. “Get that dirty skank on the phone so I can congratulate her!”

Tom frowned, but decided not to attempt an understanding of what that meant. He shook Cait’s shoulder gently. Nothing. He shook harder a few times, then leaned close and said her name.

“It takes a lot to wake her up,” Monica said helpfully.

“Uh, yes. I see,” Tom replied. He shook Cait forcefully and called her name loudly next to her ear.

“Wha?” she muttered grouchily.

“Call for you,” he said, handing it off. Cait lifted the phone to her ear. “ ‘Lo?”

Tom and Cait both winced at the loud “YOU SLUT!” that emitted from the phone.

“Hey Mon,” Cait said, rolling over to look at Tom with wide eyes. He shrugged.

“Did you seriously hook up with TOM HIDDLESTON?! How could you not tell me?”

“Mon, I just woke up. And we didn’t –”

“Hello? You bang one of the hottest men in the world, and you can’t take one second to text me? Ya bitch!” Monica started laughing again. “See if I tell you anything anymore!”

Cait gave up and laughed. “Mon, it’s a long story, but he just needed a place to crash last night. I didn’t ‘bang’ anyone, and nice talk, by the way.”

Tom started laughing, too. “Bang?”

Cait rolled her eyes at him as Monica yelped. “He’s right there! He’s in bed with you!”

“Long story, Mon, and I promise I’ll call and tell you all about it later.”

“You’re going to bang him right now, aren’t you?” Monica screeched.

Tom cackled and leaned over Cait to speak into the receiver. “One can only hope!”

Cait swatted him as Monica yelped incoherently. “Bye Monica.”

She ended the call and glared at Tom. “Lord, don’t egg her on. She’s bad enough otherwise.”

He snatched the phone and tossed it back on the nightstand, then pulled her into his arms. “She sounds … terrifying.”

Cait grinned and snuggled close, loving the feel of his strong arms around her, and burying her nose in his chest to better enjoy his scent. “You smell good.”

He bent down and kissed the top of her head. “You too. You smell like coconuts.” He snuffled loudly around her head and neck like a puppy while she laughed.

He pulled back and smiled down into her eyes. “Good morning.”

“Good morning,” she replied, feeling suddenly shy. She picked lightly at his shirt, feeling her cheeks heat as the previous night came back to her.

Tom watched the blush spread across her cheeks, and tapped one finger under her chin. “Hey.”

She lifted her eyes to his, and he leaned forward and kissed her softly.

“Do you know how beautiful you look first thing in the morning?” he asked quietly. Her eyes widened, but remained steady on his as he traced a fingertip across her cheek. “You have the softest skin of anyone I’ve ever met,” he marveled. “I can’t not touch it.”

Cait shivered slightly as he trailed soft kisses along her cheeks and forehead. He slid one hand into her tumbled mass of curls. “I love your hair, the way it seems to grab hold of my hands to keep me close to you.”

She laughed weakly. “Careful, you could lose a finger in that mess.”

He shook his head. “It’s beautiful, Cait. You’re beautiful. Every single inch of you.”

Cait’s head fell back as he kissed his way down to her neck, as though all her muscles had melted at once. “Tom,” she breathed.

“Yes darling?” he replied, sliding his tongue out to taste the hollow at the base of her throat. She gasped softly.

He leaned back and met her eyes again. “Cait?”

She stared at him, understanding at once the question he was asking. She smiled, then leaned in to capture his lips once again, giving her answer in the best way she knew how.

Their soft, gentle kisses quickly heated. Tom rolled to his back and pulled Cait on top of him. Her legs fell apart of their own accord to straddle his hips, pressing her warmth against his rapidly swelling erection. Both gasped and froze at the sudden contact, then, with a groan, Tom slid one hand to the back of her head to press her mouth hotly against his, while the other hand landed on her ass, pulling her closer.

Cait slid her hands down his chest and under the hem of his shirt, raking her short nails lightly over his abs. He hissed out a breath and his hips instinctively pulsed up against her. Even through several layers of clothes, she could feel how hard he was – for her. That thought boggled what few cells were left in her brain.

“God you’re sexy,” he whispered, almost as though she were a precious secret he wanted to keep to himself.

Cait stared down into those glorious blue eyes, and saw there how much he desired her. Her. She felt as though he was a gift she’d been given, this beautiful, wonderful man who saw her as she was and still wanted her so fiercely. As fiercely as she wanted him.

Tom felt the total absorption in Cait’s gaze, as though he was all she saw and all she ever wanted to see again. He sat up slowly, never breaking eye contact, until their faces were less than an inch apart.

“Cait,” he breathed. “You’re magnificent.”

She smiled slightly at that, keeping her eyes on his.

“I’m not just saying this because I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anyone before,” he continued quietly, though he punctuated his words by pressing her more firmly against his erection, eliciting a moan from her. “I care about you a great deal, Cait. I want you to know that before anything else. Even if you changed your mind two seconds from now, I’ll still care deeply for you.”

He laughed slightly then. “Although I really hope you won’t change your mind.”

Cait laughed too, dizzy from all the feelings rampaging through her. “God, Tom. I just … I care about you, too. And there is no way in hell I will change my mind right now.”

“Thank Christ,” he muttered, fusing his mouth to hers hungrily.

The two were so caught up in one another that it took a moment to register the pounding on her door.

“Who the hell is that?” Cait hissed, sitting up and glaring at the door in fury.

“Jesus,” Tom said, running a hand over his face. “Want me to check?”

Cait looked down at him and smirked. “You’re not exactly presentable right now,” she said, flicking her gaze briefly to his crotch before meeting his eyes again.

Tom snorted. “Fine, then you get rid of them.”

“Damn right,” Cait muttered, disentangling herself from Tom and stomping across the room to answer the increasingly frantic pounding on the door.

“What?!” she yelled, snatching open the door.

There stood Abby, eyes wide at Cait’s greeting.

“Oh,” Cait said. “Sorry, Abby.”

“No, that’s fine, I know it’s early,” Abby said, running a hand over her hair. “Look, I know this is awkward as hell, but is Tom in here with you?”

Cait fiddled with the door handle, unsure how to handle this. “Uh, what?” she said, stalling.

“It’s just that we’ve been calling him for two hours, and I just went and pounded on his door, but there was no answer,” Abby said, clearly uncomfortable. “He was supposed to be on set early this morning.”

Cait’s eyes widened, but the yelp of “Oh, shit!” from behind her answered Abby’s question for her. Cait saw Abby’s eyes shift over her head before she felt Tom’s presence behind her.

“Fuck, Abby, I’m SO sorry,” he said, running his hand through his hair in distress. “There was a problem with my room last night, and Cait let me crash here. I forgot to call down to have them switch the wake-up call.”

“It’s okay,” Abby said, relief evident now that she’d found him. “I’m just glad you’re okay. I told everyone I’d come check on you. I didn’t think you two would want me telling the whole crew you were probably in her room.”

Cait flushed bright red. “Oh, but –”

Abby laughed. “It’s okay, honey.”

Tom rubbed a hand over his face. “Abby, will you tell everyone I’ll be there in 30 minutes? And again, I’m so sorry.”

“No problem,” Abby said, winking briefly at Cait before heading down the hall.

Cait shut the door and turned back to Tom, who was clearly upset with himself. “Oops.”

He laughed. “Yeah.”

Cait felt awkward standing there, considering what they’d been in the middle of. She stepped further into the room, wrapping her arms around herself. “I guess you need to go.”

Tom looked at her, then quickly snatched her into his arms, making her squeal in surprise.

“We have the worst bloody timing,” he growled into her hair.

Cait relaxed into him. “We’ll get there,” she said, pressing a kiss to his chest.

He groaned. “Shit fuck dammit to hell.” He brought his lips down hard on hers, his frustration evident.

Then he stalked away, pausing as he opened the door.

“Tonight, Cait. I just can’t wait any longer than that.”

She stayed still as the door shut behind him, then simply flopped down to sit on the floor.

“Holy shit,” she whispered.

 


	14. The Long Road - Chapter Fourteen

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Cait dragged her suddenly boneless body up off the floor and onto the hotel room bed. She grabbed her cell phone off the nightstand and made an emergency phone call.

“You’re already done? That’s unfortunate,” Monica answered.

Cait rolled her eyes. “Oh shut up. We didn’t … well, we didn’t get that far.”

“Oooooo,” Monica trilled. “And how far DID we get?”

“What, you want like a base number?”

“Don’t be snarky just because you didn’t get laid.”

Cait heard the rattling of keys on the other end of the phone and glanced at the clock.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you’d just be opening the store,” Cait said. Monica was the owner of a thriving clothing boutique back home. She had a flawless fashion sense, and never hesitated to tell a woman what did or didn’t work for her.

Which made her just the woman Cait needed.

“Nah, you’re good. Liz had car trouble, so I’m pinch-hitting until she gets here.” There was rustling as Monica moved through the store, getting set up for the day. “So, tell me everything.”

Cait filled Monica in on the details of the previous evening and the morning so far.

“So apparently tonight’s the night,” she wrapped up. “And I need your help.”

“Why on earth?” Monica drawled.

“I want to get some lingerie or something,” Cait said. “But you know how hopeless I am about clothes.”

Monica snorted. “Go find a lingerie shop – ask at the front desk for one nearby – and ring me on Facetime when you get there. Liz is due in soon, so I can go in the back room and do a video consult.”

Cait hung up, took a quick shower and dressed. The young woman at the front desk directed her to a popular lingerie shop not far from the hotel, and Cait headed that way.

“Okay, now what?” she asked Monica once the Facetime call had connected. She saw her friend grinning at her on the screen.

“So are we thinking slutty or sexy or virginal or what?” Monica asked. The clerk who wandered over to see if Cait needed help seemed unfazed by her cyber consultant.

“Uh …” Cait said, lost. “Well, virginal is out. No point in false advertising.”

“I think classy sexy, for now,” Mon said. “No point pulling out the slutwear this early in the relationship.”

Cait froze at that. “God. Is this a relationship? I mean, am I being too easy here? He said he wants to get to know me, but I don’t know how things work anymore. I haven’t really dated anyone since …  uh. How long has it been?”

“Uh, too damn long, my dear my darling. Look, Cait, you’re a grown woman. The whole ‘rules’ thing is over. Do you care about him?”

“Yes,” Cait said quietly. “A lot.”

“Do you want to have a physical relationship with him?”

“Yes. A WHOLE lot.”

“Do you feel like he’s rushing you in any way?” Mon asked this with a slight frown, as though she was already mentally preparing to beat Tom down.

“Oh no! He’s been really sweet about everything,” Cait said. “I mean, he did say that he wants it to be tonight, but I wanted it to be this morning, so I guess we’re even there.”

Mon laughed. “Okay, then I’m not seeing a problem here. From what you’ve said, he seems to care about you. If he was just interested in you for sex, he’d be a douche who probably would have bailed after the weight discussion last night.”

Cait sighed, and relaxed. “So I need to chill out and just look at this as a natural progression of the relationship I believe we’re working on?”

Monica clapped cheerfully. “Correct!”

“All right, then, tell me what I’m looking for.”

With Monica’s input and the help of the sales clerk, Cait found herself in short order locked in a dressing room with three selections and her phone.

“Okay, try something on then let me see,” Mon directed.

Cait set the phone to the side and stripped, then put on the first set – a turquoise satin chemise with matching panties.

She held the phone so Monica could see her in the mirror.

“Hm,” Mon said. “I like the color, but I’m not sure about the cut on the chemise.”

“It covers a lot, but it’s still pretty,” Cait said, turning her head to look at her back in the other mirror. “It makes my butt look pretty good, too.”

“Try the next.”

Monica dismissed the next set outright. Cait slipped into the last option – a slightly sheer lavender bra with multi-colored flowers embroidered all over, and a matching pair of boy short panties.

“Oh, Mon, I don’t know …” she said, holding up the phone.

“Cait, it’s perfect!” Monica cried. “My God, it’s so you! Look at all the colors!”

“I know, it’s gorgeous,” Cait said. “Just … do I want to stand in front of him wearing nothing but this? At least the turquoise set covered some sketchy areas.”

Monica heaved a sigh. “Look, he’s seen it. And he still wants you. Why are you still worried about that?”

“Years of habit, I guess.” Cait took another look in the mirror, and felt a smile curving her lips. “I do look pretty hot.”

“Okay, good, that’s settled!” Mon said. “Now go buy that, and see if you can find some fantastic-smelling body cream. You’ll drive him nuts. Gotta go – I WILL need details tomorrow!”

“Love you, Mon.”

“Damn right.”

 

*****

Tom dashed down the hall from the elevator to his room, as much to avoid rabid cheerleaders as from his hurry to see Cait.

The day had seemed endless, though he’d spent less time on set than he usually did. He’d had a hard time focusing when images of Cait draped across him kept flashing through his mind.

Never in his life had he had such strong feelings for a woman, especially so quickly. It was almost as though he’d been spellbound when he’d first met her all those months ago, and now he was just captivated, waiting until the next moment he could spend with her.

He stripped off his clothes and hurried into the shower, before realizing that he’d never made a plan for the evening with Cait. It would hardly be couth to knock on her door and drag her to bed. As much as he ached for her physically, he simply enjoyed being around her.

He wrapped a towel around his waist as he left the bathroom and grabbed his phone.

_Are you free for dinner? – Tom_

_Yes, of course! Let me know when you’re done on set. – Cait_

_I’m done now – in my room. Ready when you are, just let me know. – Tom_

_I’m good now – come on down. – Cait_

 

*****

Cait took one more look at herself in the mirror before she finished dressing. She’d taken special care with her appearance tonight – her hair was freshly washed and dried, and curled madly down over her shoulders. She’d applied her makeup lightly but carefully, playing up her large eyes with skillful application of eyeshadow. Over her new lingerie, she wore a dress that Monica had forced her to buy weeks earlier – it hit her about mid-thigh, and had a floral chiffon skirt and ruffled green bodice. She topped it with a blue cardigan that picked up the colors in the skirt, and slid her feet into comfortable ballet flats. She took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of the luxurious body cream she’d found at the lingerie store, and bounced slightly on her toes.

Cait had never been so excited for a date in her life.

When the knock came, she walked calmly over, opened the door and smiled up at Tom.

“Hi.”

Tom stared, feeling like an idiot. “Wow,” he managed. “Every time I think you can’t get more beautiful, you do.”

Cait laughed softly. “You too.”

Tom laughed too, then held out his hand. “Are you hungry?”

Cait placed her hand in his and followed him out the door.

Neither really cared about where they were going, or what they would have to eat. As they walked down the street, they were completely caught up in one another, not noticing the people passing by or the cars speeding past. Hand-in-hand, they turned into the first restaurant they came to, sat down and just quietly absorbed each other’s presence.

“How was filming today?” Cait asked.

“Fine, I suppose,” Tom said. Then he grinned. “I honestly wasn’t on my game, I have to admit. A certain gorgeous blonde has taken over my mind. I can’t seem to think of anything else.”

She shook her head. “You’re quite good with the BS.”

“It’s not BS, darling,” he said, suddenly serious. “Cait, I honestly can’t stop thinking about you. I’m not saying this to flatter you or seduce you or anything else. I say it because it’s true. I’ve never had this happen to me with anyone before.”

She glanced down at their joined hands. “I believe you. It’s been the same for me. Is this strange? That we feel so close so quickly?”

“Maybe it’s different, but I don’t think it’s a bad thing,” he said. “On the one hand, I’m afraid of moving too quickly, because I don’t want to ruin this. But on the other hand, I’ve gotten to the point that I hate not spending time with you. And it doesn’t feel awkward or strange – it feels perfect.”

Cait just smiled, then lifted their joined hands and pressed a kiss to his knuckles. “I know what you mean.”

Dinner was forgettable, as they were too caught up in one another to notice food or drink. They laughed and talked for hours, to the point where they were nearly the last people left in the restaurant. When they finally noticed the exasperation on their server’s face, they paid and quickly left, then stood out on the sidewalk.

“Would you like to see a movie?” Tom asked. “Walk on the beach? Go bowling?”

Cait laughed. “Yes to all, at some point.” She stood on tiptoe and rested her chin on his chest, grinning up at him. “But not now. Don’t you want to know what I did today?”

“What did you do today?” he murmured, wrapping his arms around her to hold her against him.

“I went shopping,” she whispered.

“Oh really? That’s nice,” he said vaguely, more interested in the gleam in her eye.

“Don’t you want to know what I bought?”

“What did you buy?”

She crooked her finger for him to bend down, then whispered in his ear, “Take me back to my room, and I’ll let you see for yourself.”

Tom straightened quickly. “Yep,” he said, pressing a hand to Cait’s back and ushering her down the street as she laughed.

Cait thought she might be nervous, but all she felt was happiness and heat. She looked up at Tom and saw a mixture of adoration and desire in his eyes as he looked back at her. How could she be nervous to be with a man like this?

The walk back to the hotel seemed more like 10 miles than three blocks. They were quiet all the way into the lobby. Rather than falling on each other as soon as the elevator doors closed, Tom simply wrapped his arms around Cait and held her close during the short trip up to her floor. They remained in silence down the hall to her room.

Cait opened the door and preceded Tom inside, letting the door drift shut behind them. She set her purse and key down on the table inside the door, then felt Tom’s hands fall softly on her shoulders to hold her still. He buried his face in her neck, and brushed his lips lightly against her skin.

“You smell amazing,” he said hoarsely. He wrapped his arms around her from behind, pulling her back firmly against his chest and breathing in deeply. “God, that’s enough to drive me mad.”

Cait let her head fall back as his lips traveled across her skin. He lifted her hair and pressed a kiss to the back of her neck, making her shudder. Then he moved back and ran his tongue lightly up the side of her neck to her ear, biting down on her earlobe oh-so-gently, making her moan softly.

“Cait,” he whispered, turning her to face him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled his mouth to hers. She felt as though she were drowning in a hot pool of honey, and happily going down for the third time.

Tom lifted her into his arms and carried her the few steps to the bed, then set her down to stand next to it, never breaking their kiss. She buried her hands in his short, thick hair, loving the feel of the curls that never quite seemed to be tamed. He skimmed his hands down to push her cardigan off her shoulders, letting it pool at her feet.

Cait forgot all about her shame over her body, her fears of rejection and embarrassment. All she cared about was Tom, and showing him she wanted him just as much as he seemed to want her.

And at the moment, she most cared about taking off his shirt.

She slid her hands up under his shirt, pressing them to his skin as she let the material bunch over her wrists. She raised her arms slowly, feeling every muscle and ridge on her way up his body. Tom hissed and let his head fall back, the feel of her hands driving him wild. He wouldn’t have stopped her for anything.

She lifted the shirt over his head and tossed it blindly away, entranced by his beautiful body and the knowledge that she could touch him as much as she wanted. She traced her fingers around each pec and down over his stomach, causing his muscles to quiver. Cait looked up into his eyes and saw the fever there, as well as the iron will holding him back. She realized that he wanted her to be comfortable above all, even if it meant subverting his own needs and desires. She stretched up again to kiss him.

“You’re amazing,” she said.

He laughed lightly, then groaned as she leaned forward and ran her tongue over his chest. His hands clenched into tight fists at his side to keep from grabbing her as she licked slowly along his chest, then flicked her tongue lightly over one nipple. He gasped as she did it again and again, slowly dragging her tongue over his nipple, then flicking it over the tightened bud. When she bit down gently, then sucked it into her mouth, he cried out.

“Jesus, Cait! Darling, I –”

She pulled away. “Did I hurt you?”

He lowered his forehead to hers. “No darling, that feels amazing. I just … I’m trying to retain some control.”

“Why?” she asked, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing his throat.

“Because, I don’t want to hurt you,” he rasped.

“You won’t hurt me,” Cait said confidently. “I know you won’t.”

“I wouldn’t intend to,” he said. “But with you, I get so crazy – I’m afraid I might accidentally get too wild.”

Cait shivered against him. “Sounds good to me.”

Tom groaned again and pressed his mouth to hers in a hot, wild kiss that verged on insanity. He ran his hands along her back and felt the zipper to her dress, pulling it down before he even realized he’d done it. When he felt her stiffen slightly against him, he pulled back immediately.

“I’m sorry, too fast?”

“God no,” Cait said. “I just wanted you to see what I bought for you.”

Tom frowned in confusion, not at all interested at the moment in any presents she might have found. Then he felt his jaw drop as she let her dress fall to the ground, and stood in front of him in nothing but her undergarments.

“Like it?” she said, nerves finally trembling through her voice.

Tom let his gaze drift down. Part of his mind took in the light scars on the undersides of each arm, her stomach and thighs. Part of his mind registered the sexy scraps of fabric covering her breasts and hips. But mostly, all he could think was what a gorgeous, sexy woman stood in front of him, and how much he wanted her.

“You’re the sexiest woman,” he whispered.

Cait flushed happily, all nerves once again retreating. “So you like your present?”

He stepped forward and gripped her waist. “You’re the best present I’ve ever gotten.”

She laughed. “I meant the lingerie.”

“Darling, no offense, but all I see is the woman wearing it,” he said. He leaned down to kiss her again, letting his hands roam around to her back, then down to her ass. He cupped his hands firmly around her and pulled her against him. Cait moaned at the feeling of his erection against her stomach, and slid her hands down to undo his pants.

Tom let her unbutton and unzip before he nudged her back onto the bed. She watched as he pushed his jeans down his mile-long legs, then focused in on the bulge in his grey boxers as he crawled onto the bed and stretched out next to her.

Cait rolled onto her side and pressed herself against him, hooking one leg around his waist. She felt that bulge press exactly where she wanted it, and hummed in pleasure.

Tom inhaled slowly, trying to keep himself from getting too hot too fast. He’d wanted Cait for so long, he’d be damned if he went at it like some randy teenager. He skimmed his hands up to her bra, finding the hook and flipping it loose. He quickly pulled it out from between them and pushed Cait onto her back so that he could admire her.

Cait frowned slightly at the loss of contact, but then arched into his hand as he cupped it over one breast. His hand was so big and warm, and she could feel her nipples tingling at the contact. Then he leaned forward and pulled her nipple into his mouth, and she cried out at the sensation. He used his mouth and tongue to drive her wild, his other hand covering the other breast and occasionally tweaking her nipple. Then he moved his mouth to the other breast, keeping her in a constant state of high arousal without quite getting her to the edge.

“Tom, please …” she whispered, her hips pulsing up involuntarily.

He moved up to whisper in her ear. “What do you want, darling?”

That husky, insanely sexy voice in her ear was almost enough to send Cait over the edge. “Tom, I want you so bad. Please …”

“Not yet, Cait. You deserve so much more,” he said, his voice gravelly from the tight control he was holding on himself. He slid his hand down her body and traced lightly around the hemline of her panties. “Much more.”

Cait whimpered as he slid his fingers back and forth across the waistband of the panties. Back and forth. Back and forth. She whispered pleas for mercy, but Tom merely pressed soothing kisses to her lips before letting his fingers skim very lightly across her burning wet center. Her hips drove up off the bed as she cried out. He skimmed one finger just under the edge of the crotch of the panties, and she moaned. “Tom, please!”

“Almost, darling,” he whispered, skimming his finger over the crotch of the panties again and again. She was panting now, desperate for him to touch her.

He could feel how hot and how wet she was, and was dying to simply rip the panties away and bury himself in her. But he was determined to make her feel as good as he possibly could.

Tom continued to tease her, making the heat build in her until Cait thought she’d simply explode. Finally, finally, he pushed one finger under the edge of the fabric and stroked against the tight bud of her clit. She cried out his name and pushed her hips against his hand, silently begging him to do it again.

Instead, she felt him pull the panties down her legs, then felt him pull away. She opened her eyes and saw him staring at her, his eyes black with lust. He moved down the bed, never breaking eye contact, and pushed her legs apart. Still watching her, he grabbed her hips and lifted them, settling her legs on his shoulders. She gasped as he buried his head between her thighs, but her eyes never left his and he slowly ran his tongue up and over her clit. She cried out over and over as he massaged her clit with his stiffened tongue, then sucked it into his mouth. Again and again he repeated the process, keeping his gaze on her as she quickly fell apart. He brought one hand up and pushed a finger inside her as he sucked her clit, and she finally felt herself explode, screaming as she clutched her hands in his hair.

She panted as he lowered her hips to the bed and quickly shucked his boxers. She reached out and took him in her hand, and he groaned, kneeling on the bed beside her. Cait rolled over to look at him fully. She’d never seen a more beautiful sight in her life. He was like a statue come to life. His shaft was long and thick, and though she was desperate to feel him inside her, she felt like playing a bit first.

Tom’s head fell back and his eyes closed as she touched him, and he tried to maintain his control. Then he felt her warm, full lips close around the tip of him, and he nearly lost his mind.

“Cait, darling, I don’t think I can hold on if you do that,” he hissed.

“Just for a minute,” she said, running her tongue around the head.

He cried out as she sucked him into her mouth, and his hips thrust forward of their own accord to push him in further. She pulled back, then drew him into her hot, wet mouth again, and again, until he was whispering her name mindlessly over and over.

Realizing that he was close to the edge, Cait pulled back and rose to her knees to press her mouth to his. He drove his hands into her hair and kissed her back fiercely, pushing her down onto the bed and stretching out on top of her.

“Shit,” he muttered, pulling back and starting to stand.

“What?” She held tight, not wanting to let him go for a second.

“Condom,” he said.

“Unless you have something communicable, we don’t need it. I have to take the pill anyway,” Cait said.

“Are you sure?” Tom said, though he was desperate to be naked inside her.

“Yes. Please, Tom – I don’t want to wait anymore,” she said, pulling him closer.

Tom sank down and kissed her again, reaching between them to drag himself into position. He pressed into her slowly, feeling how tight and hot she was around him.

“Jesus, Cait,” he groaned. “You feel so good.”

Cait arched her head back and breathed deeply – he felt amazing, but he had a large penis, and it had been a while for her. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he filled her, stretching her so full she was panting. He stopped once he had buried himself deep, and searched her face for signs of discomfort. Instead, she thrust her hips up against him, silently begging him to move.

Tom began to thrust in and out of her, slowly at first, but building speed and power as he went. Cait met him thrust for thrust, whimpering softly and begging him for more. Tom felt all control evaporate as he began pounding into her, hearing her ecstatic cries. Feeling himself nearing the edge too quickly, he stopped and rolled over onto his back, still inside her, and pulled Cait on top of him.

She quickly picked up the rhythm, riding him hard as she worked towards her own release. She pulled her feet up under her knees and began thrusting up and down, moaning as his shaft slammed into her harder and harder. Tom grabbed her hips and added his strength to her thrusts, driving his hips up so that they were both crying out. He rolled them again, slamming his hips against hers frantically in search of release.

Cait felt her orgasm thundering toward her, and then Tom grabbed her hips and drove himself into her as hard as he could. She screamed his name, and then a mindless series of cries as she clenched around him over and over.

Her scream of pleasure was enough to send Tom over the edge, and he emptied himself into her with a roar. Thrusting erratically over and over, he finally spent himself and collapsed on top of her.

For long minutes, the only sound in the room was panting as they both fought to catch their breath. Cait weakly wrapped her arms around Tom, enjoying the feel of his long body pressing her into the mattress.

After several minutes, he managed to lift his head and look at her. “Am I too heavy?”

“No,” she said, stroking his back. “You feel good.”

“Good, because I may never be able to move again,” he said, lowering his forehead to hers.

She laughed weakly.

“Cait?”

“Hmm?”

“I hope you don’t think I’m just saying this because we’re in bed, and because that was the most amazing sex I’ve ever had in my life,” Tom said.

Cait pulled back to look at him, raising one eyebrow. “Okay.”

He raised up onto his elbows, braced on either side of her, to look down into her face. He smiled, and traced one finger along her jaw, to her lips.

“Cait. I love you.”

 


	15. The Long Road - Chapter Fifteen

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Cait stared up into Tom’s eyes, stunned.

“I love you,” he repeated. “But I don’t want you to say anything right now.”

Cait frowned, officially confused.

“I don’t want this to be a situation where you feel you have to say it back, regardless of what you’re feeling. Whatever you’re feeling for me, I know it’s … important.” He shook his head and rolled over to lay on his back, dragging her up to lay across his chest. He brushed the hair back off her face and met her eyes again. “I’m usually better with words than this.”

She opened her mouth to respond, but he shook his head again and laid a finger on her lips.

“I know you care for me – you’re not the type of woman to begin a physical relationship otherwise. But I don’t expect a response right now. I love you, and I wanted you to know that, because I’m incapable of hiding it any longer. But I’m not angling for reciprocity or anything like that.”

Cait smiled. “Pulling out the big words, I see.”

Tom chuckled, pinching her lightly on the butt. “I just … I’m not sure how to say what I mean.”

She pressed a soft kiss to his chest, then lifted her head to look into his eyes again. He felt the now-beloved warm brown gaze envelop him as she smiled.

“I think I understand. We’ll just leave it at that.”

Tom leaned forward to kiss her, but she pulled back slightly and added, “For now.”

*****

The last two weeks of filming in Los Angeles seemed to fly by. Cait and Tom managed to spend every spare moment that they had together, including every night. The cast and crew knew about the relationship, but as they hadn’t troubled to hide it from anyone, Cait and Tom weren’t concerned. Most people didn’t care, and the ones who did were nothing but supportive. Cait had overheard Sean the Bitch making a snide remark at one point, but she’d only laughed.

“Honestly, I’m just flattered he cares that much about my sex life,” Cait had said to Abby when asked if Sean’s remarks bothered her. “Bless his heart, Abby, that boy needs to get laid.”

Cait insisted on spending as much time as possible exploring Los Angeles. As she’d told Tom, “I’m a connoisseur of weird. And there is a lot of weird out here.”

Tom was not terribly interested in seeing the sights, but found himself having a marvelous time viewing the area through Cait’s slightly warped viewpoint. He quickly learned that Cait was a “freak magnet,” as she put it – the strangest people seemed compelled to talk to her.

 And Cait had an unerring ability to seem calmly fascinated by even the oddest of encounters. When a clearly drunk man had stumbled past them as they sat on a bench one afternoon, Tom had tensed as the man veered over and pushed his face within inches of Cait’s.

“You’re too white,” the man barked at her, bits of food flying out of his mouth. He pointed at a young black woman standing nearby. “She’s pretty. You’re too white, but she’s pretty.”

“Thank you,” Cait said calmly, not disturbed at all.

The man nodded and lurched on down the sidewalk.

Their evenings were usually spent loafing around in Cait’s hotel room, watching TV, reading or … well, other. They also made use of the hotel’s gym, though Tom preferred trekking down to the beach and running on the sand. His campaign to have Cait join him had been short-lived.

“It’s not that I don’t want to,” Cait had said after the third time he asked. He saw her face redden and her gaze lower. “But having been so heavy for as long as I was … well. I did some damage to my knees. The doctors say running is the worst thing I can do.”

Tom had mentally slapped himself upside the head. He should have figured that out. Cait loved exercising, but would never do anything that would be rough on the knees, like a treadmill. That also explained why she refused to take stairs, even up one flight.

“I’m sorry, really, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” he said.

“Oh, it’s fine,” she said, waving it off. “I actually enjoy the elliptical and the bike. Even though I cursed the sadistic bastards every minute I was on them to start with.”

She’d changed the subject with that. Tom had already noticed how reluctant Cait was to talk about her previous weight issues. He had no desire to pressure her into it, but it was a part of her life. And since he loved her, he hated to see her still holding on to such pain over that part of her past.

He’d feared his confession of love would become a bit of an elephant in the room between them, but he’d never regretted it for a moment. Cait had never brought it up again, but she hadn’t seemed awkward or uncomfortable around him. If anything, she seemed happier and easier around him with each passing day.

Two days before filming wrapped in LA, they were flopped out in Cait’s hotel room, contemplating where to have dinner. Cait was absolutely sick of restaurant food, and was compensating by refusing to acknowledge that she was hungry. Tom was so exhausted from the day’s filming that he was basically comatose. Finally Cait, cursing her stomach, stomped to the phone and ordered room service for what she estimated to be the 300 millionth time.

“I want to go home,” she muttered, sitting on the floor next to the couch and leaning her head back on Tom’s stomach.

“Uh huh,” he said, drifting further into sleep.

Cait rolled her eyes, but didn’t disturb him. She’d been on set, so she knew what a brutal day he’d had.

Suddenly a piercing wail filled the suite.

Tom sat bolt upright and grabbed Cait, nearly snatching her off the floor.

“What is it? Are you okay?” He was frantically checking her for wounds when the wail sounded again.

“Uh …” Cait said sheepishly, pulling her phone out of her pocket. “Sorry. I usually keep it on vibrate.”

Tom clapped a hand to his chest as Cait answered the phone. “Nearly took 10 sodding years off my life,” he yelped.

Cait tried to control a giggle. “Hey Monica.”

“What the bloody hell was that?!” Tom continued.

“Peacock,” Cait said, as though that explained everything.

“Bad time?” said Monica.

Cait laughed and started to explain, but then the tone in Monica’s voice sunk in.

“What’s wrong?” But Cait already knew. She knew Monica’s voice, every tone and nuance. Only one time before in Monica’s life had she ever spoken in that lifeless tone of voice.

“He’s out.”

Tom watched in astonishment as Cait leaped to her feet and slammed her foot against the chair.

“They let that piece of shit loose? How the hell did he make parole?”

“I didn’t know about the hearing,” Monica continued in her dead voice. “They must have sent it to my old address – they didn’t have my new one.”

“Oh Christ, Monica, I’m so sorry.”

“I should have notified them of my address change. I’d just been doing so well, I hadn’t thought of it.”

Cait felt the familiar rage and hatred flowing through her, but tamped it down for Monica’s sake.

“I’m on my way.”

“No, Cait –”

“Don’t even go there,” she said forcefully. “I’m on my way.”

There was a long silence from the other end of the phone.

“Thanks,” Monica whispered.

“I’ll see you soon.” Cait hung up the phone and swooped down on her laptop, yanking it open roughly and slamming her finger on the button to boot it up. She felt the phone in her hand and drew back her arm, nearly ready to throw it across the room in her fury.

Then a hand grabbed her wrist and pulled the phone away.

“Cait.”

Cait stared at Tom, almost as though she’d forgotten he was there. He saw the rage and pain in her eyes, the complete lack of color in her face. He was how tense her body was, how her fingers clenched into fists, ready and willing to fight to the death against a threat he couldn’t see.

“What’s happened?”

Cait felt herself blinking up at Tom. She focused with all her being on those beautiful eyes, now dark blue with fear and concern. For her, she knew. She felt as though she’d been dragged back into the past, and his eyes were the only thing anchoring her to the present. She held on to that anchor, dragging herself slowly out of the pit that old hatred had opened up again.

Tom bent down and put his hands on Cait’s shoulders. “Take a deep breath, darling. Come on, one more. Come back to me.”

She shuddered, and wrapped her arms around him. Tom held her for long minutes, letting her absorb his warmth and strength. She didn’t cry – she’d long ago shed her tears for the agony of a friend.

“Fifteen years ago, when Monica and I were in college, she had a boyfriend,” Cait began, squeezing the words past the lump in her throat. “He seemed like the perfect guy, but I always hated him. I didn’t know why.”

She sat back, meeting Tom’s gaze again. “One night she was in his dorm room. She was still a virgin – she was a preacher’s kid, and that’s just how she was raised. But her boyfriend – Jeremy – had been trying to talk her into having sex for months.”

Cait scrubbed her hands through her hair. “And that night, he decided he wasn’t going to wait anymore.”

Tom stared at her, horrified. “He raped her?”

“Yes. And he beat her half to death while he was at it.”

Tom stood and paced across the room to stare out the window.

“He brought her back to our room and left her there,” Cait continued. “I came home from the library and found her. He’d just left her on the floor…” she trailed off. She had never figured out why that part bothered her so much compared to everything else Jeremy Swofford had done.

“I called the police, an ambulance. Monica was pretty badly hurt, but thankfully nothing that required surgery. Everyone followed procedure by the book, thank God. I think after the cops and everyone at the hospital saw her, they wanted to be sure the bastard would never go free on some loophole.”

Cait saw Tom’s hands clench into fists behind his back, but he didn’t interrupt her. He seemed to sense that she needed to get the story out.

“She’s so strong. Monica. She was devastated and terrified, but she went through it all. The exams, the questioning, the trial. Jesus, that trial. He hired some scumbag lawyer who spent the whole trial basically calling her a whore.

“Jeremy would call our room late at night and threaten her,” Cait continued. “She couldn’t sleep. Her parents and I tried to get her to stay with them until the trial was over, but Mon … she refused to let it interrupt her school. She’d worked so hard to get the scholarship. She said he’d taken enough from her, he wouldn’t take that too.

“One night I recorded his phone call. The prosecutor was able to introduce it in the trial. Between that and the evidence from the attack, there was no way he’d get off. The jury came back with a unanimous guilty verdict in 20 minutes.”

Tom walked back over and sat next to her. “And now he’s free.”

“He got 30 years, with possibility of parole after 10. We’ve gone to every hearing for the last three years. She didn’t know about this one because the notice went to her old house.”

He took her hand and they sat quietly for a moment. Then Cait turned to him and said, “I want to kill him.”

He nodded. “I do too.”

Cait pulled the laptop to her and rested her head on Tom’s shoulder as she pulled up the airline website. “I have to be there, Tom. She’s done so amazingly well. She worked with a therapist, she got her business degree, opened her store, she’s even dated some. She volunteers as an advocate for rape victims. She’s the strongest person I know. But she still needs me.”

“And you need to be there,” he finished for her.

She sighed, and wrapped her arms around him. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For always being so amazing.”

An hour later, Tom had helped Cait find the quickest flight to get her home, and she’d packed her bags. After checking out of the hotel and calling Abby to tell her she had some personal business back home, Tom loaded her luggage in his rental car and they set off for the airport.

“We’ll be finishing up filming here on Friday, then I have to fly to New York for a few days for some meetings and interviews,” Tom said. He was feeling ill-at-ease, unsure what would happen next. He didn’t want to seem like he was smothering her.

“Will you come to Alabama after that?” Cait said hesitantly. “Shooting doesn’t start in Georgia for two weeks.” She didn’t want him to think she was being clingy.

Tom heaved an exaggerated sigh of relief. “Oh good, I didn’t want to impose.” He grinned over at her, and she stuck her tongue out.

“You’re never imposing, Tom,” she said. “I want you around all the time.” She rewound her last remark and cringed. “I mean, not in a clingy way.”

He took her hand and brought it to his lips. “I want to be with you all the time. I love you.”

She smiled. Ever since the night he’d first told her he loved her, she’d been a bit afraid. Mostly of how quickly things were moving, but also of how certain he seemed. She still didn’t believe someone like him could love someone like her.

But the more time she spent with him, the more she learned of his character and his heart, the more confident she became in his love for her. She was still worried about how quickly it was all happening, but she knew for sure that she loved him, too.

Now wasn’t the time to tell him. There was too much going on, too much emotion. After he’d kissed her goodbye and she’d boarded the plane, she sat and thought about him.

All those months ago, he’d just been the object of her fantasies.

Now she realized. He was the love of her life.


	16. The Long Road - Chapter Sixteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO SO SORRY it took me so long to update! But here's the new chapter - hope you like it!

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

 

“Pleeeeeease?”

“No.”

“C’mon, Cait, PLEEEEEEEEEEEEASE?”

“Dude, NO.”

“It’ll be fun!”

“That’s what you said the last time, and it wasn’t fun, it was just fucked up!”

“We’ll go somewhere different.”

“Mon, there is nowhere on God’s green earth that would make karaoke fun.”

Cait crossed her arms and scowled at Monica’s exaggerated pout. Across the store, Monica’s part-time employee, Liz, chuckled at the pair on her way out the door, flipping the sign in the window to CLOSED as she went.

“How is it I’ve only been back a week and you’re already tap-dancing on my last damn nerve?” Cait said.

“Because you love me!” Monica bounced slightly on her toes, delighted as always at the opportunity to torment her best friend.

Cait grinned and flopped down on the floor of the shop as Monica went about her closing routine. Cait had known she wasn’t coming home to a broken friend, despite the stress she knew Monica was under with Swofford’s release from prison. Monica wasn’t the type to sit around and fret when something bad happened. Years of recovery from her attack had made her a woman who stood tall in the face of adversity and then kicked it square in the nads.

Unfortunately for Cait, the law of the best friend required that she join in on all of Monica’s efforts to keep her mind off her worries. And after a week of increasingly bizarre activities – including a skydiving trip that Cait knew would haunt her the rest of her days – Cait was finally reaching the end of her rope.

Ugh. Don’t say rope.

“Mooooo,” Monica whispered softly, as though on cue.

Cait snatched a shoe off a nearby display and whipped it at her friend, missing by a mile while Monica laughed hysterically. Apparently that joke still hadn’t gotten old, even days after the rodeo where Monica had talked their way into a personal cattle-roping lesson.

Cait rubbed her still-bruised shin and shuddered. Never would she look at cows the same way.

“Look, it’s Tom’s first time in the South! Don’t you want to take him out and show him a good time?” Monica cried.

“No, I want to stay home and show him a good time!”

Monica snorted. “Sex fiend.”

“Uh, yeah. Have you seen how fine that man is?” Cait laid back on the floor, as if overcome. “And I’ve been away from that sexy bastard for a week. It doesn’t seem like much, I know, but …” she stared up at the ceiling, playing over her memories of their time together in LA. “Damn,” she breathed, eyes going glassy.

Monica laughed and shook her head. “Rub it in, why don’t you.”

Cait sat up and eyed her friend. “You could have any guy you wanted, you know.”

Monica sighed and sat on one of the cushy chairs set up in the middle of the store. “I don’t know about that, but I just … I haven’t felt like that about anyone.”

Cait crawled forward to rest her chin on Monica’s knee. “I know. And I know why. But Mon, are you really going to be happy never opening yourself up to the possibility?”

Monica patted Cait’s curls absently. It was a conversation they’d had more than once over the years.

Though she’d worked hard to recover, physically and mentally, from the rape, Monica had never really wanted to have a relationship with a man. She’d dated, and had physical relationships, but the idea of settling down into something more lasting still left her cold. And she really didn’t know why. Oh sure, her therapist had tons of theories, all pertaining to the attack, but none of them really felt true to Monica.

She felt like she was waiting. But for what, she didn’t know.

Now she smiled at her friend, who knew her every thought and hope and fear. “If only we were lesbians,” she mused, not for the first time.

“Yeah,” Cait said. “But as I’ve recently learned, I enjoy penis far too much.”

Monica whooped with laughter as Cait dragged herself up off the floor.

“Now. I have to leave to pick up Tom at the airport. How about we all meet for dinner at 8, then figure out what to do from there?” Cait wandered to the counter in search of her purse, not noticing the unhappy look Monica cast her.

“Cait, this is the first time Tom’s been here, and the first you’ve seen him in a week. Wouldn’t you rather spend some time alone with him?”

Cait heaved a sigh. “How many times do we have to have this discussion?”

“At least one more.”

“Look, Tom and I will have plenty of time together, but we only have this week before we head over to Georgia to start shooting again. I want him to spend time with my family, and that includes you.”

Monica opened her mouth to keep arguing, but Cait threw up a hand. “Ah! Stop that. He’s dying to meet you anyway. You scare the shit out of him.”

Mon grinned. “I know. It’s so cute.”

Cait shook her head, but pressed on. “And I want to spend time with you. I haven’t been here in weeks, and damn it, I know you’re upset about Swofford. I love you, Monica. Let me be there for you.”

Monica stared at her hands folded in her lap as she considered Cait’s words. She’d never had to tell Cait how Swofford’s parole had affected her – some things didn’t have to be said between the friends. Cait just understood how tormented Monica was to know that her attacker was once again free.

“All these years, you’ve been a lifeline for me,” Monica said quietly. “I don’t know what I’d have done without you.”

Cait walked over to wrap her arms around her friend. “You’ll never have to find out.”

Monica smiled, then shook her head once and stood up. “Okay, go get Little Hiddles.”

Cait smirked and wagged her eyebrows. “Nothing little about him, let me tell ya.”

“Stop bragging, you slut.”

*****

Tom stood at baggage claim, enjoying the somewhat novel sensation of being in an airport without anyone recognizing him. It was a relatively small airport, currently devoid of much in the way of staff or passengers. There was only one other person in the entire baggage claim area with him, an elderly man who was glued to his phone.

As he waited for his luggage, he felt someone grab his ass.

“Mind if I take this home with me?”

Tom whirled around and wrapped his arms around a laughing Cait.

“Only if I get to borrow yours,” he growled in her ear, running his hands down her body and cupping them both firmly around her rear.

“Tom!” Cait’s head swiveled side to side to be sure no one was watching. Tom took advantage of her distraction to press his lips against her neck and press her firmly against him. She giggled and grabbed his hands, weaving her fingers with his as she pressed a kiss to his lips. The pair fell into each other, blissfully unaware of the world around them, until the elderly man coughed loudly and pointedly.

“I missed you,” Tom whispered, forehead pressed against Cait’s.

“I missed you more,” she said. She shut her eyes and wrapped her arms around Tom’s waist, absorbing his warmth and reacquainting herself with the addictive scent that was his alone.

“When did you become so … necessary?” she said quietly, her head resting against his chest.”

Tom felt his heart stutter a bit at her words, and he pulled her closer. “Is that a good thing?”

She smiled. “A very good thing.”

Noticing that a small crowd of passengers was starting to form in the baggage claim, she pulled back from Tom and gestured to the conveyor belt as it chugged to life. “We’d better get a move on – I told Monica we’d meet her at 8. Are you sure you don’t mind hanging out with her?”

“No!” Tom grabbed his suitcase and they headed for the doors. “I can’t wait to meet her, I told you that. Is she still dragging you into mad adventures?”

Cait groaned in answer as they stepped out into the Alabama summer heat.

Tom stopped dead in his tracks.

“Good lord,” he said. “I thought you said it wasn’t that hot?”

Cait looked perplexed. “It’s not.”

Tom stared at her, dropping his bags to roll up the sleeves of his white button-down shirt. “Cait, I can actually SEE the air.”

Cait frowned at a nearby bank’s sign. “It’s only 92 degrees. That’s not bad.”

He could already feel little beads of sweat forming along his hairline. By contrast, Cait looked cool and fresh. He fanned himself lightly while staring at her in shock.

“Are you some sort of alien? How the hell are you not miserable in this … soup?”

Awareness suddenly dawned in Cait’s eyes, followed swiftly by the bright light of glee.

“Oh. I’m sorry, sometimes I get so used to this weather I forget it’s not like this everywhere,” she said, clearly trying to choke back a laugh. “Want me to get you a bottle of water?”

He scowled. “No need, I could just drink the water in the air around me.”

She choked, then squeaked out, “It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity.”

Tom turned a look of utter disdain on her, which just set her off into a fit of laughter. Every time she’d get herself under control, she’d look at the annoyed and wilted Englishman in front of her and let loose again.

Tom finally rolled his eyes and grabbed her. “Screw it. You think it’s so funny, I’ll just sweat on you for a while.”

Cait yelped, weakly trying to fight Tom off in between giggles. “Not in public, honey!”

She grabbed his hand and dragged him over to her car, where she immediately cranked the air conditioning and directed the vents towards Tom. He sighed in relief.

“Bloody hell,” he sighed. “How can you live in this three months out of the year?”

“Three? Tom, this is pretty much how it is from April to November.”

He made a sound of disgust.

“And that’s not including the tornadoes and hurricanes,” she continued cheerfully.

Tom eyed her warily. “When is hurricane season, again?”

“Starts next week!” She looked over and caught the uneasy expression on his face. “Relax, they usually don’t start kicking up until midway through the season.”

He just shook his head. “God I miss London.”

Cait felt her good mood pop like a balloon. She was a big proponent of sticking one’s head in the sand and avoiding depressing topics. And now here was one of her most depressing topics, standing front and center, jumping up and down for attention.

She was in love with a man who lived 4,000 miles away.

*****

Tom wasn’t lying when he told Cait he was excited to meet Monica, but he was also terribly apprehensive.

He was a smart man, well-educated, with a strong common sense. He’d seen a good bit of the world, and many of the people in it.

Tom knew enough to know that the woman he loved had met her soulmate long before he arrived on the scene.

He was just grateful that theirs was a platonic bond. He’d never seen two friends who were as close as Cait and Monica, and he knew that Monica’s approval of him was just as important, if not more so, as that of Cait’s family.

So he found himself tensing slightly as he followed Cait into the small restaurant, focusing in on the woman already seated in the back.

Monica stood and took stock of Tom, as he did her. Both smiled politely over Cait’s introductions, but continued sizing each other up.

Tom saw a gorgeous redhead – tall, taller than Cait, but still inches shorter than him. She had long hair, looped loosely into a braid over one shoulder. Her soft green eyes were intent on his face, and she stepped forward to stand in front of him.

Cait watched the two most important people in her life outside her family stare at each other, and bit her lip nervously.

Monica immediately saw everything she could have ever wished for her friend in Tom’s eyes. She read his nerves, and his determination, and when he glanced over at Cait, she saw the most important thing of all – love. Adoration. A devotion that she recognized as matching her own.

Monica smiled up at him and threw her arms around his neck, pulling him in for a hug. “Okay. You can keep her,” she said, pulling back to grin at him.

That famous Hiddleston laugh burst out as Cait squawked indignantly. Tom and Monica ignored her.

“The infamous Monica,” Tom said with a grin.

“The British sex god,” Monica replied, dodging a smack from Cait.

“Christ, I already regret this,” Cait sighed.

*****

Two hours into dinner, and Tom and Monica were already thick as thieves.

“Monica, if you tell one more ‘drunk Cait’ story, I’ll pour this whole bottle over your head,” Cait threatened as she brandished their second bottle of red wine.

Monica glanced down at her yellow sundress, then shrugged. “Okay.” She fidgeted in her seat for a minute before slapping her hand down on the table. “Oh! Okay, so this one time we went to –”

“NO.” Cait glared across the table.

“Oh come on, it’s funny!”

“Monica Elizabeth Bradley, do NOT tell that story.”

Tom had laughed more in the past two hours than he could remember in years. “Wait, how do you know what story she’s going to tell?”

“Because she LOVES this story, and she knows I hate it,” Cait ground out, staring down the woman across the table. Monica simply raised an eyebrow at her.

“I’ll just tell him later,” she said haughtily. The new besties had already exchanged phone numbers.

“Look, I’m glad you two have bonded, really I am. But can we knock off the ‘torture Cait’ portion of the evening?”

Tom grabbed her hand and pressed his lips to the inside of her wrist. “I’m sorry, darling. I just love hearing about your life.”

Cait rolled her eyes at him, but smiled. “Why do you have to be so cute?”

“It’s a gift,” he said, kissing her wrist again.

Monica smiled, thrilled that her friend had finally found someone Monica deemed worthy of her. If there was a shred of envy lurking in her subconscious, then hey – it was her dirty little secret. Not that she wanted Tom – she’d already appointed him as the big brother she’d never had. But for the first time in a very long time, Monica was envious of the idea of having a man who adored her as much as she did him.

The conversation eventually wound itself around to the subject of the movie. Monica perked up as she remembered something she’d been meaning to ask Cait for weeks.

“They kept the wall scene, right? That is hands-down my favorite scene,” Monica said, fanning herself dramatically. “Oof.”

Tom looked at Cait, confused. “Wall scene?”

“Yeah, it’s in the movie,” Cait assured Monica, who celebrated with a little butt wiggle in her chair. “It’s the scene you and Rebecca filmed a few weeks ago,” Cait told Tom. “You know, where you go at it against the wall?”

“Oh, right.”

“It’s already been filmed?” Monica leaned forward, fascinated. “Was it as hot as in the book?”

Cait chuckled. “Actually, I was surprised how unsexy filming a sex scene is.”

Tom laughed. “It’s embarrassing to say, but after pushing a woman up against a wall 20 times in a row only to be told you’re doing it wrong, it kinda breaks the mood.”

Monica looked crestfallen. “Really? Damn.”

“Oh, don’t worry, it’ll look good in the movie,” Tom assured her. He caught the quick look that Monica threw towards Cait, but was immediately distracted as Mon peppered them with more questions.

Later, when Cait had gone in search of the restroom, Monica leaned forward and looked at him. “That wall scene was her favorite scene, too.”

Tom blinked. “What?”

She heaved a sigh. “I shouldn’t be telling you this, but that was Cait’s number one fantasy come to life – a sexy, lust-crazed guy shoving her up against a wall and just taking her. She’s never really had much other than her fantasies,” Monica said, then smiled. “Until you.”

Tom sat back, considering what she’d said. A devilish grin slowly spread across his face, and he simply nodded at Monica as Cait rejoined them.

“Okay Tom, let’s get right down to it,” Monica barked, startling him – Cait just shook her head and laughed. “What does CHRIS HEMSWORTH really look like naked? And please tell me you have pictures.”

*****

Tom followed Cait up the walk to her house after they’d shut the restaurant down. The couple had tried to convince Monica to come back with them for more wine and conversation, but she’d turned them down with a variety of creative leers and repeated exclamations of “Heeeeeeeey.”

“I hope Mon didn’t traumatize you too much,” Cait said, searching for her key in the darkness.

“No, she’s fantastic. I can see why you love her so much.” Tom lifted his bags as Cait unlocked the door and welcomed him in.

“So –” she began, only to turn in surprise at the sound of his bags hitting the floor with a crash.

Then every thought dribbled out of her brain as she found herself pressed firmly between Tom and the wall inside the entryway.

Tom blessed Monica for telling him about Cait’s fantasy – it gave him an excuse to act on the desire he’d been suppressing since he’d last seen her a week before. Much as he enjoyed meeting Monica, dinner had been agony as he fought the urge to simply drag Cait out of the restaurant and into the backseat of her car.

Cait moaned as he slid his hands up her body to grasp her breasts roughly, rolling her nipples between his fingers through the material of her dress and bra. She arched her back slightly, pressing herself even more firmly into his palms as he pressed hot, open-mouthed kissed to her neck.

“I’ve missed you so much, darling,” he whispered.

“Tom …” she cried, undone by his urgency and the rough demands of his body. He was already rock-hard against her leg, and she felt an answering flood of wetness between her legs.

He yanked the simple cotton dress up over her head and tossed it on the floor before stripping off her bra. He slid his hands down and shoved her panties off, then cupped her wet center and slipped one finger inside. She cried out, and felt her head fall back against the wall as she panted.

“Cait,” he whispered in her ear – she shuddered at the feel of his hot breath on her. “Tell me what you want.”

“Tom, please,” she murmured, her hips bucking against his hand, desperate for more.

“Please what, darling? What do you want?”

“You!” she cried.

“What do you want me to do, though?” Tom pulled his finger away from her, leaving her gasping with need. “Do you want me to fuck you, right here against this wall?”

“Oh God,” she hissed. “Yes.”

“Say it, Cait.” He bit her neck lightly, then whispered in her ear again. “Say it.”

“Fuck me, Tom,” she panted. “Fuck me hard, now.”

Tom cursed softly, snatching open his pants and shoving them and his boxers down. With no more than that, he grabbed her thighs and lifted her, pinning her against the wall as he thrust hard into her.

Cait moaned loudly, gripping her fingers tightly in his hair as he banged her into the wall harder and harder with each thrust of his hips. She could feel the tight grip of his fingers on her ass, and she locked her legs tightly around his hips as she raced closer and closer to the verge of insanity.

Tom heard Cait chanting his name over and over, before she screamed it out with her release. He couldn’t hold himself back any longer, pouring himself into her as he pounded into her over and over.

Somehow Tom found the strength to hold them both upright for another minute as they panted against each other. Finally he pulled away from her and set her feet on the floor, bracing himself against the wall behind her.

“Cait,” he gasped. “I love you so much.”

Cait pressed her mouth to his softly. “I’m not sure whether to kill Monica for telling you about that fantasy, or buy her something pretty.”

He chuckled. “I definitely vote for the something pretty. That was the best sex I’ve ever had.”

She smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Welcome home.”


	17. The Long Road - Chapter Seventeen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Takes deep breath* Okay. This is not a light chapter. We get into some much deeper stuff, so beware the angst. Trigger for eating disorders and mental health issues. I really, really would love some feedback on this one, guys!

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Cait felt like she was living in one of the yearning dreams that had sustained her through her darkest times. When she was lonely and depressed, hopeless that her life would ever be more than a solitary existence until it ended as quietly as it had been lived.

She’d dreamed about love, a home, a career that fed her soul far more than the cookies, candies and assorted junk foods she stuffed in her mouth to try to fill the gaping void she felt inside. Every night, she fell into bed, exhausted by the simple act of getting through the day with an extra 200 pounds packed onto her frame. Her heart would pound, a combination of excess sugar and fat, along with the minor exertion involved with brushing her teeth and washing her face.

She would lay there, hating herself for what she was, and dreamed of what it would be like when her “real” life began.

She’d finally realized that what she was doing was in fact committing suicide. She was just taking the long road to get there.

Redemption hadn’t come in a flash. There was no waking up one day and making the decision to change. It was weeks, months and years of trying, failing, binging. Over and over and over. She’d gotten therapy, and slowly began to work on the problems that had taken over her mind and body.

She’d never done anything in her life that was as hard. And nothing in her life made her as proud.

As she sat next to Tom in the park, watching the ripples formed in the water by the soft Alabama breeze, she remembered all those nights, lying in bed alone, panting for breath and dreaming hopelessly of a life like this. A healthy body, a calmer mind, a wonderful love, and a thrilling career.

Cait laid down on her side on the blanket, watching quietly as Tom talked softly to the squadron of ducks that had appeared at the sight of bread in his hand.

Was he her reward? Her prize for finally getting it right? For doing what was best for herself, and reversing the path to oblivion she’d been on? For certainly there was no other reason she deserved someone so beautiful, so … perfect.

Cait shook her head to clear the darkness she felt gathering in the corners of her mind. Don’t question it, she told herself. Just enjoy it.

“Good God, they keep coming!”

Tom’s eyes widened as a new platoon of ducks rounded the edge of the pond, heading for them. Cait laughed.

“Honey, you brought bread. Every duck in a 10-mile radius is going to show up.”

“Yes, but how many ducks can one park possibly contain?” He tore more bread, tossing it into the mob of cacophonous quacking.

Cait snorted, but stayed quiet as one small duck went rogue, circling around unseen behind Tom. She clapped a hand over her mouth to keep from making noise as the little rebel crept closer, until finally the bird sprinted forward, wings flapping aggressively as he made a dive for the slice of bread in Tom’s hand.

“QUACK!”

“JESUS!”

Cait choked from laughing as Tom leaped to his feet, sending ducks scattering in a hundred directions, including the little terrorist who waddled off happily, scarfing down the stolen bread as he went.

Tom glared down at Cait, who was limp and wheezing on the blanket, unable to form any coherent sentences, though she yelped “Quack!” a few times between hysterical laughter.

“Oh God,” she finally whispered weakly, sitting up. “Does this type of stuff always happen to you, or just when I’m around?”

“Shut up.”

She grinned and leaned forward, propping her chin on his shoulder and wrapping her arms around him. He pretended to frown back at her, though the smile quickly broke through.

“Why do I never have video running when these things happen?” she mused. “Your fans would sing songs of my glory.”

He shook his head. “They get quite enough footage of me being an arse as it is, darling.”

They were quiet for a while after that, comfortable and relaxed in each other’s company. Scheduling conflicts had led the producers of “The Long Road” to push the Georgia filming back another two weeks, and Tom had decided to spend the whole of the unexpected three-week break with Cait in Alabama.

The past week had been idyllic. The couple took advantage of the opportunity to get to know each other even better, and Tom fell more in love every day. He’d met her family – her parents were warm and welcoming people who seemed pleased by his presence in their daughter’s life. Her brother seemed a bit wary of him, but was friendly nonetheless.

Though they hadn’t known each other for long, Tom truly felt as though he’d known Cait forever.

And that he could spend the rest of his life learning everything there was to know about Caitlyn Bryer.

He rolled onto his back and pulled Cait close, until her head rested on his chest and her arm wrapped around him.

“This reminds me of picnics in the park near my mum’s house back home,” he said lazily. “I should take her there when I get home – we haven’t been for a picnic in ages.”

He didn’t feel the sudden tension in Cait’s body, nor did he think anything of it when she suddenly sat up and began distracting herself looking for something in the cooler.

“Of course, summer in London is much different than here,” he continued, oblivious. “Not so bloody hot. Probably rains just as much.”

“Mm,” Cait said absently.

“There’s so much to do outdoors in London in the summer, too. Lots of markets and activities.”

Cait stood. “I’m going to go find a trash can.”

She gathered their trash and walked away, not daring to look back.

Once she knew she was out of his sight, she slumped against a tree and cradled her head in her hands. He’d been making more and more comments about London, just subtle remarks that all illustrated how much better London was than Alabama, and how much he couldn’t wait to get back there.

He was London. She was Alabama. Plain, ordinary, nothing special Alabama.

He’d go home, back to the glamour and the spotlight. And he’d quickly realize that, no matter what he felt about her now, she’d never fit in to his real life.

Cait shook herself viciously, then pasted a smile on her face and went to rejoin Tom.

*****

Things had seemed perfect. He and Cait were together again, and all was right with his world. But as the days went on, he began to realize just how entrenched Cait was in her world.

He began to wonder where exactly he might fit in.

He’d now met several of Cait’s family and friends, and people had asked about their plans for the future. Every time Cait would quickly deflect the question and change the subject. He assumed it was just because she didn’t know how to answer.

And then he started to fear that maybe she knew her answer, but knew he wouldn’t like it.

As the days slipped by, he started realizing that Cait was drawing away from him. Not physically – they spent every night together making good use of her bed. And sofa. And kitchen table.

But there was a definite emotional gap growing between them. Her smiles didn’t quite reach her eyes, then became less frequent altogether. She made plans for nearly every moment, and they were almost never alone. They spent time with her family or friends often. When Monica joined them on outings, he saw the worried looks she would shoot Cait when she thought he wasn’t looking.

And he saw the pain in Cait’s eyes grow with each passing day.

He didn’t know what had happened, when it had started or how to fix it. It was beginning to drive him mad.

And then it drove him to clarity.

She’d never told him she loved him.

All the times he’d told her he loved her – she’d never said it back. He’d told her not to at first, but that had been weeks ago.

He began to observe her when he expressed his love. And then he saw it, in her eyes. Shame.

He loved her. But she didn’t love him.

 

*****

“What’s wrong?”

Cait glanced up at the quiet voice. Monica stood next to her, staring down with concern flooding her eyes.

Cait dropped her head and returned her gaze to the computer monitor on her desk. She knew Tom had gone for a run – he must have let Monica in before he left.

“Nothing, Mon. Just – leave it alone.”

Monica stood quietly for a minute, absorbing Cait’s tone of voice. She’d never heard her friend sound so … broken.

“Cait.”

She put an arm around the other woman’s shoulders and pulled her into a hug. “Cait, please tell me what’s wrong.”

Silence continued for long moments, until Monica felt sure she’d never pull the truth out of her friend. Then she felt the shaking under her arm. She bent to look at Cait’s face and was horrified to see there a look of complete and utter agony, as silent sobs wracked her body.

Monica dragged Cait up and wrapped her arms around her, tears welling in her own eyes for her friend’s pain. They stood silently for a long time, Monica just holding Cait through the storm that was clearly ravaging her mind.

At last the sobs subsided, and Monica led Cait to the couch and sat her down before positioning herself on the coffee table opposite. She pushed Cait’s curls out of her face and stared until Cait met her eyes.

“Tell me,” she said quietly.

Cait sniffled, then shook her head hopelessly. “I love him, Monica.”

“Well honey, I knew that!” Monica said on a helpless laugh.

“No, you don’t understand. I love him. But we can’t stay together.”

Monica sat up straight in shock. “Why not? What did he say?” Her inner mama bear tensed, ready to rip Tom to shreds for causing Cait this kind of pain.

“Nothing,” Cait said, wiping her eyes. “But he lives in London, Monica. And I live here. That’s thousands of miles. And he’s a beautiful, famous actor who’s only going to get more famous. And I’m just plain Cait from Alabama.” She trailed off, then whispered, “Nobody special.”

Monica blinked, stunned. She’d thought Cait had conquered her crippling insecurity. How had Monica not seen that it still had this tight a grip?

“Cait, he loves you. You _are_ special,” Monica said.

Cait laughed, a bitter sound that was at odds with her nature. “He loves me now. But what happens when he’s back in London, or New York or LA, surrounded by the beautiful people, and tethered to a long-distance, 35-year-old girlfriend with stretch marks and a biological clock that’s ticking closer to midnight?”

She jumped up and paced across the living room, tears flowing down her face again. “He’ll resent me, Monica! He’ll want to be young and hot and unattached, and he’ll resent me because he’s too much of a damn gentleman to admit that he’s tired of being with someone who’s never there, and who isn’t good enough for him to begin with.”

Cait stopped her pacing and dropped her face into her hands, sobbing out the pain and anguish that had been festering in her for so long. Monica sat stunned on the coffee table, unable to comprehend the magnitude of what her friend was saying.

Cait turned her ravaged face to look at her. “I just love him too much to let it happen.”

Monica stared back at her. She was horrified by what she was hearing, but she had no idea how to fix it. Or where to even start. She opened her mouth, but the sound of the front door opening brought a look of sheer panic to Cait’s face.

“That’s Tom. Oh God, he can’t see me like this,” she whispered. She bolted out of the room – Monica heard the sound of her bedroom door closing just as Tom walked in.

“Hey,” he said quietly. Monica could see pain in his eyes, and knew that he was feeling the effects of Cait’s struggle, even if he didn’t understand the reason.

She sat quietly for a moment, thinking through what she’d learned. It wasn’t in her nature to interfere in the relationships of others, especially those she loved.

But something had to be done, before her best friend and a man she had already come to care deeply for were destroyed by this chaos of fear and pain.

“Tom, come take a walk with me,” she said softly.

 

*****

“I think there’s something you don’t realize.”

Tom paced slowly alongside Monica as they strolled down Cait’s road. “What do you mean?”

He saw on her face that Monica was choosing her words carefully. “Cait isn’t exactly what she seems,” she finally said.

Tom stopped dead in the street and stared. “What the hell does that mean?”

Monica turned to face him. “Tom, what do you see when you look at Cait?”

“Monica –”

“Tom, please. Tell me what you see.”

He huffed out a breath and started walking again. “I see a beautiful, smart, funny, confident woman. She has some self-esteem issues, and I understand why. But she’s just … everything. I’ve never met anyone like her. She just shines, all the time. You hear people talk about someone lighting up a room. She does. She’s the only one I’ve ever seen who can. I just …”

He stopped again, and turned to look at her.

“Monica, I look at Cait and I see the rest of my life.”

Monica just watched him, and Tom felt his shoulders slump.

“But I don’t think she sees the same in me.”

He turned and walked over to the curb, sitting down heavily. He felt Monica sit beside him, but didn’t bother to look at her.

“She doesn’t love me. I love her so much, but she just … doesn’t love me.”

Monica sighed. “Tom, I’m not going to tell you anything she’s told me. It would be wrong, and I love her too much to break her trust like that. But there is something you need to know.”

She waited until he was looking at her. “You say Cait has some self-esteem issues. But I don’t think you realize just how deep that really goes.”

Seeing that she had his full attention, Monica continued. “She had a major weight problem. I know you know that,” she said when he opened his mouth to interrupt. “Just listen.

“She was heavy all her life. And people aren’t kind to those who are overweight. There was the typical teasing from kids, of course. That was bad enough. But it kept going, long after she wasn’t a kid anymore. People would point and laugh when they thought she wasn’t looking. They would stare. Maybe not as much as she thought they did, but I saw it happen enough to know it was true.

“She got to where she didn’t want to leave the house. It hurt too much to be around people, to see how they reacted to her. She’d go on diets, lose some weight, but something would happen to stress her out or worry her, and she’d start eating again. Not just a little.

“It’s called binge eating disorder, and it’s more common than you’d think. People who can’t cope with certain emotions use food to deaden the pain. It’s like an addiction, but it’s hard to kick. You can live without cocaine or booze, but you can’t live without food.

“I won’t go into all the specifics, but she eventually got into therapy, got healthy, got her life together. Which is great. But the thing is, what I didn’t know, and what I’m pretty sure Cait didn’t know, is that she never really resolved the big issue that caused her to turn to binging in the first place.”

Tom coughed, trying unsuccessfully to clear the lump in his throat. “What issue?”

Monica stared at her hands. “She’s never felt like she’s good enough, Tom. For anything. To her, everything she has is just luck. Never mind the work she’s put in, the time she’s spent. She doesn’t feel like she deserves any of it. She doesn’t think she’s worth any of it.”

She turned her head to stare at him. “She doesn’t feel like she’s worth it, Tom. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

 


	18. The Long Road - Chapter Eighteen

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Cait remained curled up on the bed long after she heard the front door close, presumably as Monica left the house. She knew she should go out and greet Tom, but suddenly she was just so exhausted that the thought of moving was unfathomable to her.

She didn’t sleep. The dark thoughts that had come forth during her talk with Monica circled through her head in an endless loop, until she felt completely numb. A timeless haze seemed to settle over the bedroom, and it wasn't until she heard the door open behind her that she bothered to glance at the clock on the nightstand.

The bed dipped behind her, and she felt Tom’s arm circle her waist as he curled against her back. She manufactured a smile.

“Sorry, I didn’t realize I’d been in here so long. Must have fallen asleep!” she said with false cheer.

“Cait. Don’t.”

She froze at the harsh tone in his voice. He sighed into her hair and pressed his forehead against her back.

“Please don’t do this anymore, Cait.”

“What –” Cait heard her voice catch, and cleared her throat, trying for a casual tone. “What do you mean?”

Tom moved his hands to her arms, turning her over so that she was facing him. She dropped her gaze to his chest, hoping he couldn’t see the tearstains on her face in the darkness of the room.

But Tom was evidently done letting her run away from him. He gripped her chin and lifted it so that she was forced to look him in the eye, and she saw there enough pain and anger to completely immobilize her.

“Don’t push me away.”

Automatic denials sprung to Cait’s mind – she wasn’t ready for this, she thought. Not now, not when they still had time left.

But Tom seemed to read her mind, and shook her slightly. “Don’t you dare try to tell me you aren’t. Don’t you try to tell me you haven’t been slowly distancing yourself from me for weeks now.”

Cait felt tears gathering once again, and knew that there was no avoiding this any longer. “Tom, I’m sorry. I care about you, I do. But this just … it’ll never work. I think if you’re honest with yourself, you’d see that.”

There was a long, heavy silence while Cait avoided Tom’s gaze and tried to regain control of herself. Then she felt him launch himself off the bed.

“Honest?” he shouted, startling her. She looked up to see him standing next to the bed, eyes turned steel blue in fury. “ _You’re_ telling me to be honest with myself? You, who has managed to delude yourself to the point of thinking that no one can ever love you!”

He turned and paced away from the bed, shoving a hand through his short curls. “What have I ever done to make you think that I don’t know my own heart and mind well enough to know what I want? Do you really think me so weak that I’d declare my love for you without knowing it to be true? Do you think me so untrustworthy?”

He glared down at Cait, who was stunned into immobility on the bed. “Let me guess. You’ve decided that I’ll tire of you eventually, and want to be free to bed 20-year-old starlets every night? That I’ll resent you for being older than 30, and for not having plastic breasts and perfect abs? You believe I’m such a shallow, immature _bastard_ that I would throw away the love of my life in order to conform to some stereotypical view of Hollywood that you’re trying to force on me?”

He snatched a throw pillow off the floor and hurled it across the room. “Well thank you very much, darling. It’s nice to know that’s what you really think of me!”

Cait shuddered, overwhelmed by his words and his fury. “Tom …” she whispered, unsure of what to say.

“I know how little you think of yourself, Cait, no matter how wrong you are,” he gritted out. “But don’t you see how colossally unfair it is of you to let that dictate the course of my life?”

She stared at him for several moments, letting his words soak in to her mind. The rational part of her mind, the part that had been uncovered during her years of therapy, was screaming at her that he was right. That she was being unfair, that she was treating him like a child who didn’t know what was best for himself.

But there was another part, the part that had told her throughout her life that all her achievements were pure luck, that she owed a debt to her family and friends for the time and love they gave her, that she wasn’t worthy of a good life. That part was a constant whisper in her ear, and had been throughout her life. She was used to that whisper, that snide voice telling her that she wasn’t good enough, and that she never would be.

The whisper in her ear was telling her that what Tom was saying sounded good now. But what happened when he left? When he was in London, or New York, or LA? Out at premieres and clubs. When he saw what he could have, why would he want her?

She didn’t even realize the thought was slipping out until she saw his face tighten.

“Why would you want me?”

He stared at her, pain in his eyes.

“How many times do I have to tell you, Cait?” he said softly, sounding defeated. “I love you.”

With that, he turned and walked out of the room.

 

*****

Tom spent a long, sleepless night on the couch, berating himself over and over for how badly he’d mishandled the situation.

He hadn’t meant to lose his temper like that. He knew that Cait couldn’t help what was happening in her mind.

But it drove him mad to watch the woman who was everything he’d ever wanted slip farther and farther away from him, and to know there wasn’t a damn thing he could do to stop it.

Hours after he’d left her, Tom gave up on the illusion of sleep and sat up. He was giving uninterested consideration to the idea of making coffee, for lack of anything better to do, when the bedroom door finally opened.

He stayed where he was, watching as Cait crept hesitantly out into the living room to stand in front of him. It killed him to see the pain on her face and in the way she hugged her arms around her shoulders. But his own pain and pride wouldn’t permit him to go to her. So they remained as they were for long minutes, simply watching and waiting.

“I know you’re right,” she said finally, in a voice rusty from tears.

Tom froze, battling back hope, and waited for her to continue.

“I know you’re right,” she repeated, her voice getting stronger. “But you need to know … there’s a little voice that has whispered in my ear my entire life.”

She moved over to sit next to him on the couch. He didn’t touch her, afraid to distract her from what he could tell was a difficult admission.

“It’s been there as long as I can remember,” she continued. “It tells me that I don’t deserve things, even if part of my mind realizes that I do. I don’t know why it’s there.”

She looked him straight in the eye. “Tom, I don’t know why it’s there, I promise you that. If I did, I could get rid of it.”

He nodded. “I believe you.”

She smiled slightly. “I thought I’d dealt with it, I really did. I’ve gone through therapy, and it seemed to help. But ever since the book became a success, and I met you … I don’t know. I guess it was all too much, and the voice came back. And it all seemed too good to be true.

“I didn’t mean to make you think I don’t trust you, Tom. I swear. I trust you more than I ever thought I could trust anyone,” Cait continued, reaching out to take his hand. “I’m trying to explain to you why I felt the way I did.”

Tom looked down at their joined hands. “Past tense?”

She smiled, not needing to ask what he meant. “Past tense. But obviously, I have some issues I need to work through.”

Tom met her gaze, and finally saw that the pain he’d seen in her beautiful brown eyes for the past several weeks had lifted. He lifted her hand to his lips and pressed a kiss to her palm.

“I’ll do whatever you need, darling. I want to help you.”

She laughed softly. “Just be you, Tom. That helps me.”

She leaned her head onto his shoulder and sighed. “I emailed my therapist last night. He’s great – once he realized that I think better in writing, he set up a program for me where we conduct our sessions over email, with occasional office visits. I’m going to start back working with him regularly.”

“I think that’s wonderful, Cait,” Tom said softly, wrapping his arm around her and feeling a burden lift from his heart. “I want you to do whatever you need to be healthy, mind and body.”

“Well, I’ll go ahead and tell you one thing that I figured out,” she said guiltily. “I hate when you talk about how much better London is than here. It makes me feel like you can’t wait to escape.”

Tom started, shocked, and pulled back to look down at her. “Oh my God! Is that why you always get so twitchy when I mention London?”

She nodded, cheeks reddening.

He shook his head. “Cait, I was trying to talk it up,” he admitted sheepishly. “I wanted you to be interested in London so that …”

“What?”

He tugged on the neck of his t-shirt, not meeting her eyes. “I was trying to make London sound like such a great place so that you’d maybe be interested in living there,” he muttered.

Cait gaped, then sat up.

“Wait. You want me to move to London with you?”

He winced. “Well, I wasn’t going to ask you yet, but I was hoping maybe if I started putting the idea in your head now, you’d be more open to it down the road.”

Seeing the incredulous look on her face, Tom started backpedaling.

“I know you have the house here, and your family is here, and your friends, and … maybe it wasn’t the best –”

He was cut off abruptly by Cait grabbing his face in both hands and fastening her mouth firmly to his.

Not being an idiot, Tom wrapped his arms around his girlfriend and pulled her into his lap.

“I can’t believe we’re so stupid,” she finally gasped, pulling away from his lips. She laughed as she peppered his face with little kisses. “We were just misreading each other completely!”

He laughed with her, keeping her wrapped tightly in his arms. He was so relieved to have her there, and to have hope back that things were going to work out.

“I love you so much, Cait,” he murmured.

She pulled back and smiled, her eyes shiny with unshed tears.

“I love you, Tom.”

Tom felt tears fill his own eyes at finally hearing her say what he’d longed to hear for so long. She laughed with joy, and threw her arms around his neck.

“I love you.”

 


	19. The Long Road - Chapter Nineteen

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Their last few days in Cait’s hometown were quiet and easy. Cait stopped using outings with friends and family to avoid Tom, and the couple spent the days talking and sharing more of themselves with each other. Cait finally opened up to him about her history of insecurity without the usual glib diversions she’d always employed. The fact that he listened and talked with her about her issues without judgment or pity went a long way to soothing Cait’s lingering fears about their future.

For his part, Tom shared with Cait his own feelings about the overwhelming changes that had occurred in his life since being cast in “Thor.” She’d never realized how different things must be for him now that he was the subject of media attention, as well as such a passionately adoring fanbase. As much as he loved his fans, and as grateful as he was for their support, he admitted that it sometimes frightened him just how much he could mean to people he didn’t know. She fell even more in love when he told her that he was determined to live a life that was worthy of the faith his fans had shown him.

Cait resumed her therapy regimen, visiting her doctor once before continuing with the email correspondence that worked best for her. Even Tom was brought into the program – Dr. Mitchell sent a few questions to both Tom and Cait, sparking several in-depth conversations that went a long way to helping Cait sort through some concerns. Dr. Mitchell was optimistic about Cait being able to conquer this particular demon, but warned both of them that it would take work and open communication.

Though they continued to share a bed every night, Tom had made a conscious decision to back off from physical relations. Cait was hurt and confused at first, until he pointed out that the entire situation had been complicated by the suddenness of their relationship, and that he wanted them to focus entirely on her mental well-being.

“Dude,” she grumbled. “You get me hooked then take away the good stuff?”

“It’s not like I’m going to enjoy it, darling,” he said with a comic leer. “I’m being noble here.”

In order to help him in his quest for nobility, Cait graciously dug her oldest and most comfortable (in other words, rattiest) nightshirt out of the dresser and wore it from then on.

“Cait, why are you wearing a dustrag?”

“It’s a nightshirt!”

He pondered the enormous, well-patched garment for a moment. “Good lord. It’s like the Frankenstein of shirts.”

The days moved quickly, until time came for them to pack up and head to Georgia for round two of filming on “The Long Road.” Tom could admit to being a bit flummoxed by Cait’s excitement to drive the six hours.

“Road trip!” she’d yelp frequently, holding up a hand for a high-five. He’d questioned her at first, but the incredulous look on her face prompted him to simply give up and go along.

Of course, he wasn’t terribly surprised when, upon hearing their plan, Mon yelled “Road trip!” and high-fived Cait.

The couple invited Monica over for dinner the night before they left, and both Tom and Cait hugged her and thanked her for helping them get past their own lack of communication.

“I meddle and I’m a hero. I love this,” Monica said, amused.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come with us? Take a break for a few days, check out a real movie set?” Cait said. She was worried about leaving Monica so soon after her attacker’s release from prison.

“Not unless there are some more British hotties hanging around the set,” Mon replied, not fooled for a second by Cait’s offer of a “break.”

Tom choked on his water, and was ignored by both women.

“Cait, I’ll be fine,” Monica said softly. “I love you more than anything for coming home when I needed you, but I’m okay now. And the last thing you need is me hanging around as a third wheel.”

“You’re not a third wheel,” Tom said, still coughing. “Actually, I have several single friends, if you’re looking for –”

He didn’t see Cait’s frantic headshaking until it was too late.

“OH no, I don’t do fix-ups,” Monica cried. “Bless your heart for trying, but the last thing I need is a pity date.”

Tom scowled. “It’s not pity, for God’s sake. Men would probably get into a ring and fight for the chance to date you.”

“Awwwwww,” cooed both women, Cait leaning over to pinch his cheek.

“Ain’t he just the cutest _thing_?!” she squealed, stifling a laugh.

Tom sighed. “Sod it.”

Monica burst out laughing as his face reddened. “Tom, I adore you for thinking of me. But … no. Fixups _never_ work.”

He gave up and changed the subject.

*****

The next morning, Tom had to physically drag Cait from the bed. They’d agreed on the need to get an early start. But apparently the fact that their plan would require her to wake early as well had gone unheeded in Cait’s mind.

“Nooooooooo,” she moaned pitifully as Tom shook her shoulder for the fourth time in 20 minutes.

“Cait, we’re supposed to leave in an hour,” he said.

“It’s too early,” she grumped, yanking the covers up to her shoulders and closing her eyes.

Tom sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Right.”

Cait squawked when he snatched the covers off the bed, then shrieked when he grabbed her and gathered her in his arms, lifting her off the bed and heading for the bathroom.

“TOM!” she yelled. “What are you doing?”

Tom ignored her in favor of dodging her suddenly flailing arms. He set her on her feet in the bathroom, cranking the shower on before he quickly stripped off the Franken-shirt and her underwear, and shoved her, still sputtering in shock, into the stall. He shut the door behind her, ignoring her yelp as still-cool water hit her skin.

There was a long moment of silence before Cait said, bemused, “What just happened?”

Tom just shook his head and went about brushing his teeth.

Within an hour, they were dressed, packed and loading their luggage into Cait’s turquoise SUV. Both had elected to dress comfortably in anticipation of the drive, but Tom was perplexed by Cait’s t-shirt.

“What is a War Eagle?” he asked, studying the navy shirt with orange lettering. “And what does that have to do with tigers?”

She laughed. “That’s my team. Auburn University is my alma mater, and this is for the football team.”

“American football? I’ve never watched it.”

“Oh, you will,” she said casually. “We’ll have to make sure to be here for a game in the fall. Plus I try to watch them all on TV when possible. Gotta support my boys.”

Tom paused. This was one of the first times Cait had made mention of their being together in the future. He smiled, not wanting to make too much of the moment by drawing her attention to it. It comforted him greatly that she was now thinking about their future in such a subconscious manner.

“Oh, that reminds me,” she said, sliding into the driver’s seat and cranking the car. “I took that red shirt out of your suitcase.”

“Why?”

“You can’t wear it down here,” she said.

Tom frowned. “Why on earth not?”

“People might think you’re an Alabama or Georgia fan.”

He stared at her, realizing she was perfectly serious.

“Just from wearing a red shirt,” he said flatly.

“Oh yeah. And they wouldn’t be caught dead in blue or orange.” She glanced over and smirked. “Law of the South, baby. Football’s a big deal.”

He just shook his head as they pulled out of the driveway.

The next few hours were uneventful. Cait shared more tales of the South, and Tom told her more about London. They avoided talk of the future, focusing on enjoying their time alone. When they reached the filming location, they knew personal time would again be limited.

About an hour away from their destination, Tom heard Cait’s muttered, “Uh oh.”

“What?” He looked around as she pulled the car to the side of the two-lane road they’d been traveling for the past 30 minutes.

“Car’s overheating.”

Cait hopped out of the car, popping the hood as she went. They both stood in front of the car, staring down at the engine as steam poured off.

Tom blinked. “Now what?”

Cait leaned in, testing various components in a competent-looking manner. After a minute of this, she closed the hood and looked at Tom.

“Not a clue. I don’t know jack about cars.”

He chuckled, and pulled his cell phone from his pocket to call for help. Then scowled at the icon that showed no service was available.

“Good lord, there are still places in this country that don’t get cell service?” he groused.

Cait checked her phone to confirm, then shrugged. “Guess we wait.”

“For what?”

“Someone’ll come along. Either that or the engine will cool down.” Cait hopped up to sit on the hood of the car, then immediately slid back off. “Damn, that’s hot.”

Tom reached over and rubbed Cait’s butt. She laughed and swatted his hand.

After Cait reopened the hood, realizing that would help the engine cool faster, they sat in the car with the doors open, fanning themselves with magazines. They hadn’t passed so much as a gas station for miles, so they didn’t bother seeking civilization.

After a few minutes, Cait spotted a truck heading down the road behind them and hopped out to flag it down. The driver pulled over immediately. Tom rounded the hood as the elderly man unfolded himself slowly from the battered pickup.

“Y’all alright?” he called, making his way slowly over to them.

“Engine overheated,” Cait said, her accent deepening slightly, and she smiled charmingly. “Don’t suppose you know anything about cars?”

The old man chuckled. “Yep – ran my own garage for 40 years. Think I can sort you out.” He reached out to shake Cait’s hand, then Tom’s. “Billy Don.”

“I’m Cait, this is Tom. Nice to meet ya, Billy Don.”

Billy Don patted Cait lightly on the arm and poked his head under the car’s hood. “Don’t worry, honey, I’ll get y’all sorted out and on your way.”

Tom stood next to Billy Don, curious about the inner workings of the car. “We appreciate your help,” he said. “I confess I know nothing about cars.”

“Eh, not a problem,” Billy Don said, his hands moving from part to part without him even looking at them. He focused his faded blue eyes on Tom, curiosity evident in his gaze. “You from England? Can’t help but notice you ain’t from around here.” The old man let out a friendly cackle.

Tom grinned. “Yes, I’m from London.”

Billy Don grinned enthusiastically. “Well ain’t that a coincidence! My wife’s been after me for years to take her to London – she’s a real big fan of all those Jane Austen movies. I just now picked up the plane tickets to surprise her.”

 “Aww!” Cait cried. “Billy Don, that is so sweet! When are y’all going?”

The old man leaned further into the engine, digging out a belt of some sort and examining it. “Leaving in a couple of weeks, and staying for two whole weeks. Bless her heart, my Anna deserves it. Raised three kids, helped me with the business all those years, and she’s managed to put up with me all this time.” He laughed. “Now that our son took over the business, I think we both deserve a little adventure.”

“Where will you be staying?” Tom said.

The two men fell into an easy discussion as Billy Don continued his examination of the engine. Finally he pulled back and wiped his hands on a rag in his pocket.

“Well, I’ve got you put together enough to get to the next town over. That’s where I live. My boy and I can get this belt changed out for you and have you back on the road in less than an hour.”

“Thank you so much,” Cait said. “You’re an angel, Billy Don.”

The old man pinked up a bit and chuckled. “Ain’t nothing anyone else wouldn’t have done, Miss Cait. Now y’all just follow me – it’s not but another 10 miles from here.”

Cait and Tom followed Billy Don’s pickup down the road. As they neared the small town, Tom took out his phone and snorted.

“Ah, NOW we have service.” He typed something out on his phone for a minute. Cait didn’t bother asking who he was texting, figuring he’d tell her if it was interesting.

They pulled up to the garage, which turned out to be quite a large business with several cars waiting to be serviced. Billy Don’s services were clearly in high demand.

Cait noticed that Tom was preoccupied with his phone as they sat in the waiting area. He wasn’t normally one to be so tied to the thing. At one point, he hopped up and went to the counter to ask a question, before sitting back down and continuing his texting. Cait shrugged and grabbed a magazine.

Soon enough, Billy Don found them in the waiting room and handed Cait back her keys.

“We got that belt replaced for you, Miss Cait. Checked the rest of the engine over while we were in there and everything else looks good.”

Cait hugged the old man. “Thank you so much for all your help!”

Billy Don walked with them to the front desk as they paid, then walked them out to Cait’s car.

“Well, it was real nice meeting you two,” he said with a smile. “You’re a real nice little couple.”

Cait laughed, and Tom shook Billy Don’s hand. “I hope you don’t mind, but I took the liberty of setting up a couple of things for you and your wife while you’re in London,” Tom said.

Billy Don looked startled. “What do you mean?”

“Well, I called my assistant and had him book a Jane Austen tour for you two,” Tom said, as Billy Don and Cait gaped at him. “Also an open-top bus tour of the sites of London. He’s emailing you the details – I got your last name and email from your employee. All you and your wife will have to do is give him the dates you’d prefer.”

Billy Don stared at Tom, at a loss for words. “My goodness,” he finally said. “That’s awfully nice of you.” A huge grin spread over the man’s face. “Oh, my wife will be over the moon about that Jane Austen tour!”

Tom laughed. “I hope you both enjoy it. It’s the least I can do to repay your kindness.”

Billy Don shook Tom’s hand again and clapped him on the other arm. “Thank you very much, young man. We will surely look forward to this trip!”

After a few more pleasantries, the young couple waved goodbye to Billy Don and got back on the road. As they stopped at a light, Tom looked over and caught Cait looking at him with the sheen of tears in her eyes.

“What’s wrong?” he said, worried. He reached over to cup her cheek.

Cait laughed softly. “Nothing at all. I just … I really love you, Tom.”

He smiled. “Good. Because I really love you too.”

 


End file.
